Hubby is being uptight

I had an argument with my husband tonight. I thought that he was all for me having WLS, well it turns out that he thinks I'm being selfish and if he is going to be put out then I should forget it. He said I should get all the facts about how long I'm not going to be able to do anything and what restrictions are going to be (like housework etc) and how long I'm not going to feel like cooking, doing dishes, or taking care of the kids. He has enough on his plate without taking over for me too. For as long as I can remember he has been after me to loose weight. I have tried so many times. Now I have made a decision to change my life and all of a sudden it's like he doesn't care. He also said that if I'm going to get all flabby, then it's like a loose-loose situation. What should I do? And does anyone have any ideas about how long I will be out of commission to do my household duties? (I just want the "facts" to be able to give him some of the answers he is looking for) Thanks for your help, Whitney

Only your body can determine really how long you will be out of commission. Your surgeon could give you an estimate of time. Sounds to me like your hubby is the one being selfish - and doesn't want you to lose weight at all. Just my opinion, but if he's been after you to lose weight, and now you do, hmmm, then you might find someone else. He's worried about if you get flabby? What about worrying that you could die from a co-morbidity? Or from the surgery itself? Before you go any further with this, if it were me, so this is just MY opinion, I would tell him he needs to attend some couples counseling. Sounds like he's more worried that he might be inconvenienced in the short term than he is about you. It's you I feel sorry for, living with someone like that.

Wow...that's tough. Actually, it sounds to me like he might just be scared for you to have such a radical surgery. He may be feeling all the same feelings you are (fear, excitement, wonder, worry...) and just doesn't know how to deal with it.

My husband did the same thing. One day he would be all for having it done and then he would not be. The week before my surgery he was furious with me for going through with it. I was actually worried there might be a divorce when it was over. It all boiled down to he was scared to death. He was afraid I would not make it through the surgery, because I have problems with blood clots. He had been hearing alot of negative stories about the surgery from work and a few friends. Instead of communicating with me he choose to act like a jerk. Once the surgery was over and he saw I was going to be fine. The weight on his shoulders was lifted. Now he says he's glad I had it done, because of how much better I'm feeling. Hang in there and be patient. I had my surgery on a Tuesday and I drove the kids to school on Friday (3 days after). Just do a little at a time and don't worry about the rest. It all works out.