How to Educate Friends/Family

So far, everyone I've talked with about having this surgery is supportive of my doing it because of my health. No arguments... The only resistance of any kind I've gotten is from my mom, who keeps talking about how horrible it's going to be to have to eat nothing but liquids for a long time, and how hard it will be to see others eating food that I want and not being able to have it myself. Any advice from anyone about how to answer those questions... My dear old mom says those things, but not in the way of trying to talk me out of deciding to have the surgery, but just because she's concerned, and I want to allay her fears some, if I can. Thanks, Gina.

I'm only telling a few very close friends and my immediate (under my roof family) because I don't want to deal with those comments. I look at this way: I've made this decision after years of research and consideration, and if I have to drink liquids and eat baby food for 8 weeks, that's a small price to add years to my life, and have that life be enjoyable to me in terms of getting around. I have arthritis, and every pound I am overweight is making it harder and harder to exercise (which I love) and to just do basic things like housework. So for me, it's a small price to pay. If you go on a diet, people around you are still going to eat foods you can't if you are strictly on your diet. If you do things like slimfast, you're already on two liquid meals a day anyway. If you're like me, none of those things worked, no matter how strictly you stuck to them. It will be a grieving process of a sort, but that's what therapists are for. So I guess I don't really have an answer for you, just sharing my thoughts on the subject.

I was really blessed with a very supportive family. One of my sisters sent me a few CD's - one with a little note on it that said "for when you really need chocolate". Maybe you ask your Mom to be "your chocolate" - tell her you suspect there will be days when it is more difficult than others and want to know you can count on her to be supportive of your feelings and help distract you/point you back towards a more positive direction. I also drug everyone I could to a support group meeting - not only did they get to see and hear the same questions they had discussed and answered, but they got to see people at the same stage I was in during preparation as well as all the wonderfull successes at different stages post-op. It was reassuring and informative for all of us!

Gina, My family was very supportive. The hardest person I thot to talk to was my hub, and he was the most supportive by far! And yes, you will drink liquids for a while and if your hub makes BBQ chicken one day like mine did (I told him he was just plain mean), you will go to your room like I did until the smell is gone and the dishes are clean. I had my surgery with Dr Walton on June 3 and as of Jan 13, I have lost 100 lbs! It was the very best think I have ever done. I was terrified the day of surgery, mentally made a will, then just put my self into the hands of God and my dr. And Gina, watching others eat in front of you won't be that hard. They are gaining weight while you are losing weight, FOREVER! Blessings to you.............. Lisa Enid, OK

Hi Gina! One of my biggest fears about having surgery was the fact that I would only be able to eat small amounts of food. I am one of the people who absolutely LOVE to eat. I like the texture, taste, smell and sight of good food. But I made a decision when I finally decided to have this surgery, that I would break my obsession to food. Family get togethers were always about stuffing ourselves silly and being miserable to hours afterward. I'm glad that I decided to give this up. I had surgery 12/4/03 and made it through Christmas. I ate a bite of things that I probably shouldn't have, but it made me feel like I was participating. The surgery provides you with a couple of tools to help you not eat as much. The first is that you do not experience hunger for about the first 6 months. It's amazing that chicken broth and sf jello can "satisfy" you! The second tool is that if you eat something you are not supposed to eat, your pouch lets you know and in a hurry (or mine did anyway). I consider myself lucky because I can eat small amounts of almost anything I have tried. Yes, I've tried sugar and as long as it is very small amounts, it doesn't bother me. When you find something that you shouldn't eat and you either dump or feel overfull for several hours, trust me, you will make sure that you do not eat that again! Right now if somebody around me is eating something I'm not supposed to have, it doesn't bother me most of the time. If it does, I eat one bite and I'm happy. I have to remind myself to eat! Who would have thought that would ever happen because as I was eating breakfast, I was planning lunch. So, when your mom brings this up, tell her that you've made a conscious decision and are aware that you will not be able to eat large amounts of food, but that the surgery provides tools to help you through that. Good Luck!! Tina 288/247/130