I need Answers please

Hi All, It's that time again. Yes, for me to vent. My support systems are in order, my weight is pulling off fast, but fast in who's eyes? Not mine that is for sure. Oh you look so good, to who? Not me. I know you feel good, No not really. Sure I can eat just about anything and not get sick, at least for now. Be thankful they say, oh but I am thankful. So what are you trying to say they ask? I am doing this thing because I have no choice at his point I say. But in the meantime can anybody tell me when does it get better. I have talked with my therapist, I have talked with my Lisa C. I have talked with Lisa D. I have talked with Wendy, I have talked with Debbie and tons of others. But when do I feel better I ask. Now what I need to know is the real deal. I need to talk to someone who is having the emotional difficulties that I am having. I am not sure what is wrong, is it just me, am I the only one that feels this way. I mean I read post after post after post and I hear all the glitz and glamour, but I have yet to come across anyone that has really displayed any real emotional trauma. If you are out there please respond because I need to talk. If you do not wanna tell your story on air please email me privately. I just need to know am I the only person that feels this way. I can give very good advice, and I can give lots of support and say encouraging things and mean them from the bottom of my heart, but I can not take my own advice, I am terrible at being my own support person. I am not trying to scare and new post ops or pre ops, this does not affect everybody the same, but for me it is beyond anything I could have evr conceived mentally and before I loose my mind I just need to know is it me? Am I the only person that feels this way? Adrienne

I am not in a position to give you any answers. I am curious to see the responses to your post. I am eager to have this surgery, but I also have some trepidation about how I will feel afterward, both physically and emotionally. I can at this point only imagine what an ajustment it must be. Good luck on your journey and I hope that you recieve some helpfull replies.

Dear Adrienne, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! I am having some of the same problems you are having. Some days, I am fine, then other days I am down. I am 8wks post-op and i am down 70lbs. I have people tell me I look good, but some times I do not belive them. They are asking how I am feeling and some times I tell them the truth and other times I lie. Somtimes I get mad when someone asks me, "so what can you eat". It has been very hard for me over the last few week leading up to Thanksgiving. This time of year has alway been my fav time of year. My Wife and I have been gettin at each other, on thanksgiving we were at each other, she wanted me to help her cook and I did not. I love to cook, but I just did not want to be around food them. I am very moody at times. I am still trying to adjust to this new life. I have been eating and doing things the same way for 40 years, now I have to change over night. I know, I choose to do this, but people do not now how hard it is right now for me. I know it will get better, but for now I am feeling this way. So, you are not alone. Thomas

I am pre-op....but it sounds to me like u should be on some type of medication like wellbutrin(spelling) or something....an emotional roller coaster is not good for you...or anyone else. my prayers and best wishes are for you....your body is undergoing some drastic changes and you mind has to catch up with it....given time and with proper help it will. it is reather like post-partum depression..... ask your doctor for drugs....LOL charlene/okla

Hi Charlene/okla. I do not think that drugs are the answer for me right now. My mind and body are trying to even out. I can tell that I am getting better. It is just going to take time. I am just having some feeling right now that is taking alot out of me. A month ago, I was worst than now. Like I have said, I have been eating the same way for years, but now I have eat a differant way. The eating was one way of coping with the world and now that is gone. I do not want to start another habit to help deal. I want to learn how to cope with it myself. Thanks for your prayers, God Bless. Thomas

Adrienne, I believe Thomas is on the right track even though he is a male and his experiences physiologically and emotionally will be a little bit different from a females' he has definately nailed the emotional roller coaster that we embark on on this journey to health. I had the open rny 11/18 and experienced a huge emotional upheaval on the seventh day and called my Angel who had had experience and explained it on a physiological level....our bodies as obese women have been turning every hormone we get into testoserone and with this surgery suddenly the testoserone is leaving our bodies....along with our body armour....and estrogen is coming in....I said yes, but does the testoserone have to scribble on the walls and slam the doors on the way out? And why does estrogen have to flounce in and announce how sad the energizer bunny commercial is and skittles taste the rainbow....oh that's right you can't LOL What I mean to say here is....we are undergoing an emotional upheaval that is NORMAL for what we are going through...Thomas is exactly right when he says 1. We are not alone and 2. You don't need drugs as the answer......we may all need some psychological support and work and that is inside....to be able to deal with the outside....and the changes that are coming.....I got very reflective and looked at the scribbles left on the walls by the testoserone and discovered that 1. I loved myself when I was fat, I loved my body armour and felt protected by it for many reasons 2. I was grieving a loss of my safety and armour and protection and didn't even know what I was grieving....just feeling sad....I delved a little deeper and realized that 3. I made a decision when I was about 11 and had sea otter body that had started gaining weight and that is when testoserone started really coming into my system....that I did not want to be a woman, that I did not want to grow up, I welcomed fat and the protection from growing up that that fatness would bring me....So, what I am saying to you with all this is.....we have lots of issues revolving around food and our lifestyles and the ways we chose to become who and what we are...and they can bear examination....the defense mechanisms that we employed to survive this life earlier may be killing us now (obesity) and defense mechanisms are a good thing they DO protect you they say there is something here worth protecting....but when they fail to protect you or they limit or stop your growth as a person THAT is when we may need to re examine them and discard them and find our security and our safety in other things....the knowledge that health can happen....that we can be healthy happy folks...the real strength that we have as humans...is the willingness the courage to look deep inside our own weaknesses and see them as strengths and use them to not become survivors.....but thrivers in this life.....Adrienne and Thomas you will become thrivers....because you have the courage to reach out and reach inside and examine what you feel and think and discover what you need to heal yourselves....Your answers are within.....Leslie/zenster

Adrienne, Everything you are feeling is normal. Our weight made us prisoners and food was our salvation. We used the food as a crutch for our emotional needs and now that the crutch has been taken away our minds don't know how to react. We have been told as professionals that emotions should be put into the closet and not let out. I cry now at the drop of a hat and I love it. Just because the weight goes does not mean that our emotional issues disappear. We now have new issues but take each one a day at a time and it does get better. There is nothing wrong with feeling down at times. Our hormones keep us that way. My biggest gripe right now is my libido, which is nil right now. I am hoping that it gets better. Your weight loss is terrific. I think when I first had this surgery in April I thought that I would be thin in weeks but that was unrealistic. I thought that I was loosing so slowly but in reality there is no way I could lose that much weight so quickly on a regular diet. Don't think of how much you are loosing but how much you don't have anymore. Think of it as what you can physically do now and not before. Weight is only half of it. The pounds is what everyone goes by but we should be going by how physically great we feel. Yes some days are bad but didn't we have more of those before. The only way that we can figure out our new plumbing is to experiment with new foods. Just because you had a bad reaction to a certain food now does not mean it will continue. I a truly amazed at all the foods that I now can eat. When I first had this surgery I got so depressed because I thought I would never get to eat the things I loved. I eat them now but in lower quantitites. Being depressed at food holiday's is quite normal but you can sample everything you want. I ate 5 times that day and loved every bite. As time goes by, you will be eating more in quantitity. You will be amazed that you can eat that much. Take care and remember that emotional isssues are normal. We are getting a new body but it takes time for the old mind to catch up. We still think we are heavier and in our mind we still are. I still see myself at 320 and I haven't buried her yet. The funeral is soon but not quite yet. Patti