Please help for I have lost my way

No idea where to start but I'm hoping some of the old-timers can help.

I am 8.5 months from surgery and have lost aroun 185 pounds.  Over the past month I have lost the same 3 or 4 pounds basically leaving me at a stalemate for weight loss.  I have slipped back in to some snacking.  I have also lost any desire to exercise.  Basically I'm in a funk or rut as it were.  I'm not gaining but I'm not moving toward my goal any more and it really disturbs me.  At least I know how to maintain!

I know I have further to go and I know what to do to get there.  It's motivation more than anything I think.  What do others do when you reach a plateau (self-inflicted mind you) and can't move on?  How do you reset your mental frame-of-mind and continue on?  I want to reach the goal I have set and I am ever so close, usually less than 15 pounds.  I don't consider myself a failure but I'm not a total success either. 

How do we move on?  Anyone have any insights or helpful advice to offer?  Do I just need a kick in the head?

I could have written this myself. I understand totally and am questioning my self about the same things. Winnie, you have shown you know what to do and you do it very well. You just need to focus on it once again. It sure isn't easy, like many people think it is! So many think this is the easy way out, but it is extremely difficult to change our lives the way we have. You aren't giving up and that is the best statement of all. I feel the same way you do and I too have those little lbs that come and go on a daily basis....but not forever like I want. I did realize I am not getting enough protein in on a daily basis, so I am working on that again. Exercising is forced but with some physical problems I am having, I am not  going like I should. I must do that!! I too am maintaining very well, but that is not where I need to be. I need to lose the rest of this weight.
I'm feeling like I need the support group more than ever, to help with this discouragement, but right now It's a long way over there....It's hard right now to put gas in my car, so there is no extra trips unless I have to, but maybe now I have to....
I am hoping there are more answers to help you and help me in the process. Hang in there and know you aren't alone in even this phase of this journey.

Thanks for posting my words.

Sherry

You are one of the first persons I met at a support group meeting.  I have followed your progress .  Which has been great.  I am 6 months out and was making some mistakes.  I went for my appointment and support group yesterday and it really has motivated me to get back on track.  They were so encouraging and positive about my progress it stirs up excitement.  You should have a 9 month checkup coming soon.  They will help you get back on track and review with you what you are doing and what will help you improve.  Just remember how far you have come, all the people who are cheering you on, and you can do this.

I hit the same point at 7 months out.  That is when I started exercising.  I still struggle because the weight loss is slow now and I am lucky to see a pound a week versus the 4 pounds a week I had in the begining.  You have done fantastic!  You just hit a roadblock where you have to get your mind wrapped around what you need to do to continue.  Hang in there.

I had the same problem at 6 months out and it lasted a month and than I droped 5lbs. My dr said it was just my bodies way of saying whoo i need time to catch up. I have lost 130 lbs in a year and a half............we r all doing great.



I meet a woman who had rny in nov of 2005 and she has only lost 123 lbs since her wls.........after i meet her i didnt feel bad about how much I wasnt loseing or how fast I was loseing it. in the end we r all going to be healthy and that was our main goal at the beggining of this wonderful journey......

Winnie, I wish I had sage words of wisdom for you.  I started maintaining about a year ago (all self-imposed as well.)  I have maintained within 4 or 5 pounds for the whole year.  I do understand your plight.  I have been living it for a year.  I do know, however, that my tool is still there when I decide to fully utilize it.  You have lost so much so quickly that maybe mentally you need a break from total vigilance?  You will find your way again.  Cut yourself some slack.  Just think, when was the last time you maintained your weight for a whole month??  Me, never until I had the miraculous tool of a sleeve.

If you want to talk send me a PM.

Denise

Winnie,

I am with you I am a year out now and seem to be playing with this last 5-7 pounds backa nd forth for awhile now. I need to buckle down and get back to basics to get it on off.

Winne - if I kick you in the head will you kick me in the head?  I am really struggling.  I do lots of things right (water, waiting an hour to drink) but I am doing all of the wrong things nutritionally.  And I know I'm doing it.  It's almost as if I am sabotaging myself.  I have also let some really bad, old  habits back in my life and didn't like the way my jacket fit this morning.  So I am also in need of re-dedicating myself to this whole process. 

I think you should be incredibly proud of yourself!  To be so close go goal must be an amazing feeling.  I have never been that close.  You should never forget how far you've come!

I think that after a certain amount of time, I got tired of always "being on a diet".  I know that's the wrong way to feel but there it is anyway.

So maybe we do a couple of things to get back on track:

*get back to support group regularly - I know I have let this slide and it was something I was consistently doing to stay on track
*I need to clean out the carbs...I need carb detox!
*I need to take it one day at a time and celebrate the small successes
*I need to remember to eat only when I'm "hungry" and not just because it's lunch time or dinner time

I am doing well with exercise for the moment since I joined Jazzercise.  But this has always been a peaks and valleys, on and off situation for me.  I feel better when I exercise and I have more energy, better balance and a better outlook!

I probably need an accountability partner that I can be brutally honest with and admit when I bite something I shouldn't.

Jay - you are an inspiration.  So what if you take a little breather?  Did you ever think you would be this skinny?  You will get back on track because you have iron willpower!  I've seen it!

I kinda rambled here...sorry!

Hey Jay, just saw this post and I wanted to give you my input, although you have had some great advise already - here is where I am at:

At one year post-op, I started seeing real stalls in the weight loss..I didn't get discouraged or lose focus, but I took it upon myself to make some "changes"....I joined Weigh****chers, and when I was told to make sure and eat all my points, gues what I did...I started snacking, because that was the only way I could get in all their point! From there on, it's been an uphill battle, because once you get on the carbmobile it's hard to get off! I became very good friends with the vending machine at work, making sure I chose "the least damaging stuff"....Yeah, right... - I dropped Weigh****chers pretty fast, but I do feel that I started a yo-yo dieting system -with the "Monday I start doing this right" mentality. I have not gained weight, but have not lost any either, and in my mind I am not done with the weight loss, even though, like you, I definitely do not see myself as a failure!

Exercise is another deamon - I figure I wasn't doing enough with just walking, so I constantly tried to look for other alternatives, making more frustating and never amounted to much..I am not obsessed with exercise, nor will I ever become...but, I do want to do more.....here's the real kicker..at my work, we have a gym, recently built, with all the equipment needed, completely free of charge..ask me if I have ever used it! My goal is to start using it this week, since I do have the time and I am sick of finding excuses for myself.

I also think that at some point during this process we start to want to feel "normal", like we won the fat battle and we should be able to eat whatever we feel like! I know I did - but the reality is that we will never be like the skinny people who have never had a weight problem - obesity is a disease and even though we can treat it, we will never be able to cure it!

The only advise I can give you is to stick with the program that WeightWise gave you, even if  you stumble here and there, just stick with it..you will find your way again. I personally find this journey to get more and more difficult as time goes by and it is very human to make mistakes.  Even though I may be stepping in a pot boiling water, in a few weeks I am seeing Dr. B and the dietician - even though I messed up, I have not given up, and that is really what counts...

You have done such an amazing job! You will get to your goal!

Wow - this turned to be a long post!

Jay, I have told this a thousand times....we had surgery on our stomachs and not on our brains.  If our brain was where it should be or our head we wouldn't have needed WLS in the first place.  We all have been where you are now...I've been at my weight now for almost a year.  I have only lost about 20 pounds since the first of January.  I have many excuses but excuses are like.....everyone has one.   I have been lax in my support group meetings.  I was there this past Thursday and it was awesome.  I hear people who act so "shocked" when they hear some of us "old timers" mention that we might have issues, stalls or even a little gain...."I'll never do that"....I was a self pay and I would NEVER do that...don't tell me that until you are where I am....  I wrote that big old check too.  I hope to loose at least 40 - 50 more pounds but hey...if I don't, I still consider myself a success and you are too my friend!!!  At least I can honestly say I have not gained any weight....NEVER in my life could I say that before!

Come back to support meetings and we'll work on this together when you can!!!  I'll kick you if you kick me!!!
(((HUGS)))