some difficult testing...

Well, I am now 5 days out of surgery, and my family had came down to stay the weekend with me, which is what I wanted. Of course, our house is pretty much cleaned out of all food, so that left us to go out to eat every meal, except breakfasts. We went to Cracker Barrel, Eggbert's, Charlie's Chicken, Burger King, and my favorite Las Fluentes Mexican restaurant. I did phenomenel at each of the places just sipping my water, Crystal Light or Chicken Broth. The smells is what hurt me more than anything. The food all smelled soooo good, my mouth was watering. But, i perservered. Then when we went to Las Fluentes last night, it got tough, hard actually. The chips and queso, the sopapillas. I started out the meal kind of snippy at my hubby, not realizing it. Then towards the end, I just started crying. I wanted to eat sooo badly. My family was not pushing anything in my face, they offered to go out and let me stay home or bring something home and eat in the kitchen so it wouldn't be right in front of my face. But I insisted on going out with them. I thought that if I was left at home I would feel even more excluded and it would be worse than sitting there with them. The fact of the matter is, I wanted to spend time with them. They did not offer me anything, and when I asked how something was, they would say it was gross or I wouldn't like it, trying to make me feel better. But last night it was very hard. I actually dreamed about the King Burrito, rice and beans, I would have normally eaten at that restaurant. I know it is not actual hunger, but head hunger. And I can't fathom putting anything besides the clear liquids in my teeny tummy right now. I know it will get better and I keep telling myself that this isn't forever. I just hope the rest of these 2 weeks go by much faster. It was a trying time and needed to vent to those that understand.

Thanks for your continued support. I know we are all in this together, and I am not alone, even though I felt that last night. Fortunately, (except for the fact I will miss them dearly), it is just my hubby and I now and I may be able to get in a better routine of things and not have to go out all the time.

Sorry for the long post!

Hugs!
Angie

The liquid phase is hard!  Hang in there!  You are not the only one that dreamed of eating! Your head misses it's old buddy food!  Be kind ot your tiny tummy.  It is still delicate and healing.

Reading that sure brings back memories!!!  I had such a hard time which made me have a big time case of buyers remorse during those first days.  It really does get better, way better!  Promise!!!!  Hang in there, as soon as you start mushies the world seems so much brighter!

I have to say you are one of the strongest people I know!! 

Not only did you FACE the foods that helped contribute to being over weight, you did so with style and grace! You cared so much about the relationship with your loved ones that you endured NIGHTS of temptation!! Bravo!!

I am simply in awe of you! You have helped me in my struggle today! I have had to cut out refined sugar, processed white flour products and salt. Today was a hard day for me! I jumped on the boards and in the back of mind the thought of those kit-kats my kids wanted as a treat were calling to me! hehe

I read your post and now those kit-kats are simply sitting there and no longer of importance.

If you can stand firm and follow through on attaining that new, healthy body and a life of healthy eating, then I can too!

I thank you greatly for the wonderful influence you have been to me!

Hang in there Angie. The liquid phase is tough but you will survive. I remember it all to well. I broke down and cried about a week in to it too because I wanted to eat. my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Emily

Thank you all so very much for your support! Reading through your replies has helped me tremendously! Yes, it is tough, but knowing others have experienced the same thing really helps. I don't feel so lonely in this. I love you guys and hate to think what could happen if I didn't have a place to go!

Thanks again!
Angie

*big humungous hugs*

this just brought back memories for me, even down to the tears at the table. i didnt try going out with family to eat until about a month out or so. but it was really hard again to get back into the groove of socializing, and i never realized until i was post op that alot of that is usually OVER FOOD! but we all learn to cope in our differant ways, and im super comfortable now with everything. its usually everybody around me feeling uncomfortable asking me 50 million times if im sure im ok with them eating in front of me!

kudos to you that not even being a week out and perserving all of that :)  you sound like such a strong woman :)

xoxoxooxoxxo

I was just wondering how u are feeling right after the surgery? how many days has it been since yr surgery?

OH ANGIE I FEEL YOUR PAIN EVEN NOW AFTER A YEAR! MY FAMILY DOES THE "NO ITS AWFUL" ROUTINE AND I DONT KNOW IF THAT MAKES IT BETTER OR WORSE. THEM BEING SUPPORTIVE OF ME IS WONDERFUL AND I CAN ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING TO EAT AT THE PLACES WE GO BUT ITS NOT ALWAYS WHAT I WANT! CONTINUE TO BE STRONG AND WE WILL HELP YOU THRU THIS! IT DOES GET A LITTLE BETTER ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU SEE AND FEEL THE WEIGHT COMING OFF!