my vent

I have been under so much stress for the last eight weeks that i did something I normally wouldn't have ever done.
A older woman called me today asking me to come and some work for her this week. I tried to be nice and explained to her that i was already scheduled full. She then ripped into me saying since I had lost weight I have become a bitoch. That I should never had wls and that I had changed. The evil came out in and I responded that It was a good thing that I lost the weight cause IF I HAD NT I would come to her house and sit on her till she suffocated. She said a few more ugly things to me and hung up.
Then my brother called wanting me to pay his car insurance..UH WHAT!
I told him he could pay mine and I would pay his..he hung up saying something about me having an attitude since I lost weight..
Then my boyfriend called me complaining that he thought I didn't want to come to SC that maybe I wanted to end the relationship..HUH?
And then finally I got on some new scales and it said I was 15 pounds heavier than my other clients scales..SO I know I should have stayed in bed this morning...with a bag of chips and cookiessss...uh yea right...can you say dumping syndrome

It has never failed to amaze me that when a person becomes or is assertive, especially after a change such as losing weight, then we are branded as being b*tchy. Amazing how people try to find the negative in something so positive. Keep your chin up. People use things like that as a control thing to get to your emotion so they can get you to do what they want you to do.

I have become more outspoken and  do stand up for myself more. She is so use to me dropping something to fit her in i assume she thought I would do it again....and as for my bro he thinks I am made out of money

Oh my gosh, Pat. What is it about siblings!! My goodness I could go on for days about mine. I have three older siblings. One of the older three is something else. She has gotten herself in so much trouble financially it's really sad.

Just stay assertive, there is nothing wrong with that!

he called me tonight crying that his phone will be cut off on the 23rd..okay hes out of work....and trying for disabiltiy....I told him tonight that its not my place to pay his bills or send him money..if he needs help..go pick up cans find scrape metal to sell do something bsides crying on my shoulder

hey I can relate to this. I know that I have really become outspoken these past 3-4 months. I have always been that way, but because of the things that were eating me and all the things that I was eating, it got buried...but I tell u that woman has been resurrected. I have found my confidence and self worth in the Lord and its so awesome. No, I do not allow people to walk over me anymore and I just sit and be silent..NO!! I will no longer be silent and agree with u just for the sake of keeping peace. One thing that I found out about myself, was that I was very co dependent, and that i sought to have peoples approval....I was insecure, been hurt, and holding on to years of baggage that didnt help. I have broke free from that crap, and will not expect people to make me happy or that it is my job to make them happy. I am enjoying my life and will not allow anyone make me feel guilty and dont give a second thought as to what they think of me anymore. They can call me what they want, but I am confident in knowing WHO I am.  U knew I had to put in my two cents...LOL

LaDetra

ya know that I love ya dearly! and this has helped me alot tonight!
muuah

I think some mean people are always looking for the ***** in the armor so to speak.  If they can't call us fat, then they call us biotches because we lost weight.  Mean people don't deserve the time of day.

I'm getting so I don't want any body comments whatsoever-good or bad.  Maybe a general "you look nice today"....but I'm tired of being evaluated-too fat, too thin, whatever people.  I'm not a show dog-just a garden variety biotch...LOL.

well said! I am so sick of when I started losing shouts of congrats...
I dont mind being called a biotch but you need to say MS before it

I am going to say something here and don't get me wrong, but it is just applying to me....Because of my issues with my mother....I have told each of my children that if I start being anything like my mother....they are to tell me right away, so that I can make any changes I need to to rectify it. I don't always see myself the way others see me....I honestly have to stop and ask....and be willing to listen....... if ANYTHING the person is saying to me might have some truth to it....That is not an easy thing to do...but necessary. I have found that I have had to make many changes too.....
NOW having said that.....We are changing. We don't have to be push overs anymore....I told a friend in CT that he was hereby deleted! I have been his friend for 12 years. The key words are I HAVE BEEN HIS Friend....I called and checked up on him after his WLS and sent him Christmas gifts....he didn't even type TY in a note I have no knowledge that he even got the gifts! I have not heard from him in months! He never checked on me to see how my surgery went.....So I wrote him and told him that I was done.......He tried to say he broke up with his boyfriend and he has been sick over it....I said ohhhh but you have posted recipes and crap on OH but can't type in
Thanks or how are you.....A friend asked me why he had changed....I told them...He didn't, I did!!
I am deleting people in my life that are draining me and are toxic to me.....I don't think it has anything to do with the surgery....just inner strength that may seem *****y....but I see it as strength!
Soooooooooo yes, maybe you needed to make a stand....and you did it.....Ask yourself if you felt you did anything wrong...if you don't, then move on but don't eat chips or cookies! haha.....I am just going to evaluate my attitude lately....I don't want to become a *****I want to be who I have always been....just stronger. That is why I ask my kids for their help, in case I am not seeing things....My kids will tell me too! (the little brats!) I just know I dont want to be 80 years old saying I have a right to be hateful and rude to people if I wan't....thats what my mom says! I am never to old to make good changes, if necessary!