lost.....

I dont know where to turn to! So much going on here that I dont know if anyone ever cares to hear. My husband left me, the is the love of my life and its killing me! I dont understand to be honest on the whys. He is my sons sunday school teacher so this is really confusing to me. He for some reason feels unappreciated, he is sick of the commute to and from work, tired of having no money, and just learned tonight that he wants him time with just his friends. To go to the bar and karaoke. He has never mentioned this until tonight on the phone, seems his work buddies invite him all the time but he says no knowing i wouldnt approve. When we got together we agreed that we would NOT go to the bar without the other one. I have pleaded with him and told him I am sorry for my short comings and that I do appreciate him much more then he knows, I just want him to come home! 

I know that this group is a wonderful prayer chain so please keep in your prayers that God guides us and that we dont lose site of our vows and we can work through this.

Anyways, thats the shortened version, I love and miss my husband and appreciate any prayers! Times are tough on the whole world right now and I am not going to let the devil ruin my family without a fight!

Sassy....sometimes men are just...well... not thinking straight... give him some time without talking to him...let him understand that you're not just gonna wait around for life to pass you by....he'll look at the opportunities in front of you and will want to share in them....  I'm a man...  men want what they don't always have a firm grasp upon....

You are a sweet and intelligent woman....you've got to trust in things that you have little or no control over to accept that you're living all of those same events with him....the commute, the lack of money, the regular in and out ofliving in a real world....but i he thinks that blowing the family funds in a bar is better than spending them on the family who is depending on him to lead that family, he's just not thinking straight.  Those work buddies should be ashamed of themselves and understand that their families need them just as much as you need him in your life.

You had an arrangement...he's not living up to those, and it honestly sounds like you're in agony and torture while he's not taking things seriously.  You are completely in my thoughts, and my heart is so heavy for you....  Some men long for such a good woman who simply loves them like you're able to love.....  I pray for you to be strong enough to know that you're a precious person....capable, loving, beautiful, and with insight enough to know this isn't about you....this is about him acting selfish.  You know, i can't say I'm the greatest man on Earth and I've got a ton of my own sins to bear, but I never make a woman feel like she's not beautiful and worthwhile.

I've got you solidly on my prayer chain starting tomorrow morning.  I hear the agony in your words.....I know that it's so painful it's raw, but I wouldn't beg for him to come to his senses....  pull yourself up by the bootstraps....know how strong you are and empower yourself....  You're beautiful, strong and responsible regardless of anyone's actions.... this "hard life" wasn't just happening to him...it was happening to his family....  he needs to wake up and face the facts....help him by ending any pleading or begging or lowering yourself in the least....let him know that he can act like a child, but you've got real kids to raise and didn't marry him to raise as well.

 I believe in you....always have...always will...

T.

T.
I'm very impressed with your advice!  I thought for a minute Dr. Phil chimed in! (that was a compliment! I like Dr. Phil)

It was good that Sassy got a Man's point of view too!

Hugs
KimJ!

I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time.  We are here for you and so is God.  I would give it over to him and ask him to show you what to do.  I do not know why bad things happen to good people but I do know that the devil is a lier and will do what he can to disrupt good people's lives.    I wish I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug.  Hang in there and please give it to God.  He will help you through this.  I will say a prayer for you and your family and that he will give you the strength to handle whatever comes your way.

Gez, what is going on here?  first Shantel, now you.  Guys are really strange sometimes.  I SO know.  I know of your heartache and pain.  Like I told Shantel, my wife walked out on me and my 16 yr old daughter a couple of years ago.  Hurt like a son of a gun (toning it down here), but after a few days, God gave me this enormous peace, and I was able to turn it all over to God.  I knew whatever happened, it would be the best  for both of us.  I never did have any bitterness or anger towards her.  After 3 or 4 months, God turned both our hearts around and she moved back.   All the pleading and begging and crying will not change his heart, but God can change a heart of stone and mold it into one of softness and love.  I pray for you and your family.  Yes, the family is under attack now big time.  Be blessed, Michael

I am so sorry that you are having to go thru this.  My hubby and I have had a lot of problems this past year and I've got to admit that I've thought about leaving, not because I don't love him with all my heart, but I just couldn't stand our situation which he seemed content with.  (We don't have any kids)
But each time I prayed and God told me to stick it out.  Maybe your husband is going thru something like that.  It's not that he doesn't love you, but just needed a break from the situation.  Which is totally unfair and selfish and it's not like you couldn't use a break to, but not this way.

I hope and pray that you have a happy reconciliation very soon.  I am here if you ever need to talk.  (918)917-3162.

Hon, 
  I am not the best person to give relationship advice and I can tell that you love your husband I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope it all works out for the best. No matter what that might be you are a strong person and no one or nothing can take that away from you remember that.

I suck at the whole male - female relationship thing hence my choice of being single for so long, so I can not offer any real help here except to say that if he leaves someone as loving and caring as you have always been on here then he is the one who needs the psyche exam. I will definately say a prayer that everything works out  according to God's plan for you.

Honey, I sure hate to hear this. The enemy hates the family, but God delights in family, and God is the Greater One. I've seen Him turn things around in situations that looked utterly impossible. Give it all to Him, and trust Him. Be patient with the situation, be patient with your husband. Tell him that you don't want to lose him, but you will give him space. Sure, he may try the "single" party scene for a while, but it will be empty and he'll feel that. Now, as far as the enemy goes, you have authority over your household, so you just speak outloud, "Satan, you have NO power over my husband or our marriage! In the Name of Jesus, I command you to take your hands off my husband and off our marriage; just MOVE ON!"
I'm praying for you. Hang on to your faith.
Blessings,
Mary

I completley understand where you are and how you are feeling. Last week my husband decided he was sick and tired of me and he hated me and wanted out only problem is I just had my wls so he is stuck in this house with me to help take care of the kids and me until I am back to work. I gave my problems to god. The bad thing is you and I both want to save our marriages and this is something we don't want. I did the begging and pleading for for him not to leave. I am not a bit trusting I trust no one, I accuse him everyday of cheating (he did finelly have an affair four years ago) I don't allow him his privacy I go threw his phone wallet whatever trying to catch him cheating on me. If he was 5 min late I would chew his butt. I pushed him away. I have to change but it is hard. I have begged for a week for a last chance and he says same old talk. We went to marriage counseling on monday, I kicked him out of the drs office because he won't agree to work on our marriage. It is never to late to fix what is wrong I have total faith he will stay. I was told by the counseler your husband is a string and you can't pull a string. Brad (my husband) told the dr he was gonna call a lawyer on monday and to my knowledge he hasn't yet. What really sucks is our 10 year wedding ann is this friday. I told him it was hard knowing this was the last one. My advice to you is don't beg him to come home no matter how hard it is ( I have found it only makes my husband more mad) give him space, offer marriage counseling, and pray. I wish you the best of luck and I know it is hard, I am siting here in the same boat. The thing is they are in total control and only they can make the choice to stay just show him reason to stay.

Hugs
Christina