update on me and going crazy

I doubt she's doing it over the guy, his dumping her was probably just the icing on the cake.

  Most cutters feel like they have no control over their lives.  When they cut, they have control over the pain and it gives them a physical outlet.  We dealt with our issues by eating, cutters deal by cutting. 

Tell her that you love her and you want to help her to be well, but you can't do it for her.  We can't force people to face their issues.  It sounds like she's lonely and hurting, telling her that there's something wrong with her will likely exacerbate the problem.  She knows there's something wrong, she just doesn't know how to handle it in a healthy manner.  It's a good start for her to be in the Crisis Center, but those places are really bad about releasing patients before they're ready.

If you're not able to allow her to stay in your home, speak with the Crisis Center about whether there's a halfway house she can stay at. 

Thank you for this. I have spoken with her social worker and she is going into outpatient therspy. Plus she is on meds. I am going to let her stay as long as she goes to therapy and stays on her meds plus find a job...
I just wont let her to wallow in self denial and pity.
years ago I babysitteda girl who was a cutter. She would cut herself just to see the blood and loved the pain. Watching her was a 24 hour job she would cut herself with anything..even took the eyes out of dolls and would cut herself. Finally her family accepted she had issues and had her commited.

If she was a minor there would be a good chance they would commit her for treatment. But since she is an adult it is up to here to stay or go home. My daughter was a cutter when she lived with her father. He was in total denial about it, even tho she told the family councelor she was doing it to herself and there are scars to prove it. The younger generation are some complicated folks, they have very different view's of the world, life ect than we did. Back when I was in highschool you didnt hear so much about people attempting to kill themselves(cries for help) you just heard about people killing themselves. I guess people used to be better at hiding their issues..
I hope she will accept the help and you will get some peace in your home.

I agree with you...back when I was a teenager if some one jkilled themselves it wasnt talked about. Now days there is so much violence that is a common occurance.
I am going to take it one day at a time and pray that she does for herself...there is no way I can hold her hand and lead her to help...

Sadly even when you want to force them it doesn't work. I tried to help Jenn so many times. I pray that your neice has an eye opener and gets the help she needs.

With an adult addict or mental illness, the best thing you can do is be very clear in your own mind what your boundaries are and communicate them to her.  Get that set in a quiet time in your own mind, not during a crisis, and then stick with them.

Also, don't buy into the myth that everyone can be saved if only YOU try hard enough-the real truth is it is up to her and the sooner she realizes that, the better for you all.

It helps to seperate the person's actions from the person-you can love the person, but if their actions are dangerous to themselves or to you, it's time to leave them to their own devices. 

Deb I totally agree with what you have written.
I told her where I stand and I refuse to change my position.
If she wants a better life it is up to her to get it not me. ANd if she wants to stay here she has to either follow my rules or leave. Doesnt matter which one to me

Tough love is hard love but in the long run it is what will help her.  Enabling her to continue doing this would help no one, especially her!! 

What has me more upset is how her Dad is dealing with it..he is not doing nothing. He seems to careless that I am dealing with what he should be dealing with. If she was my daughter I would have come and got her....I think he just doesnt care as long as he doesnt have to deal with it

I would just deal with your situation with her (what you will accept and not accept, etc) and leave her Dad out of it.  You could easily become a pawn to help her manipulate dear old Dad.  If she is an adult, he has no obligation or even the right to come and get her if she doesn't want to be come and got. (awkward sentence, but you get my drift).

My own daughter found someone who sympathized with her and "took her in" and at 30 is still living under this woman's roof, still unemployed, still a drug addict.  So, in my mind, this woman really did not help her much at all.  I'm not saying this is the case with you, just pointing out that sometimes taking the hard line can be hard on the parent's too-and if the person finds another enabler, it can just prolong the process.