ot but I need all the prayers I can get

I am also so very sorry about your situation.  The counseling is a good idea.  I don't want to throw a monkey wrench in the thing, but,  you also don't want to "force" him to stay, then he comes back with the same plan of divorce a couple of months later.  This is what happened to my dear sweet neice.  He told her he wanted out right after Christmas, but she talked him out of it, then a couple of weeks ago, told her the same thing.  She has finally moved out into her own apt.  He, though, is an arrogant boob.  A few years ago my wife walked out on me and our 16 year old daughter on my birthday while I was at work.  I was hurt, but after a few days,  I had this complete faith, peace,  and trust in God come over me.  Don't know where in the world the complete peace came from (of course God), but it was a wonderful experience.  I loved her enough to not even try to talk her out of leaving because I knew it wouldn't  solve anything.  We went to counseling, but at the time, didn't help.  (That was just us, does not apply to you!)  I remained friendly with her, and even went over to see her apartment.  Because of God, I felt absolutely no hurt, no bitterness towards her.  It was such a wonderful feeling.  She would come over to the house to do laundry.  One time she had to leave to go somewhere after she put her first load in the washer.  I finish all her laundry and had it all folded or hung up when she returned the next day.  She was so not expecting that!  I got my daughter counseling because of her being adopted, I was afraid of her feeling abandoned by her birth mother, now my wife.  I felt after a couple of months went by, there was no way we would get back together, but still had complete trust that what ever happened, God was in control and would protect us both.  She left in August and around November, we had a person we knew from her church talking to us.  God all of sudden changed her heart, then mine.  She had started going to a marriage Sunday school class at her church.  My daughter and I were attending a different church.    It was important that my daughter and I attend church together, and that I surround her with loving Christian people.  Anyway, in November after God started radically changing both our hearts, she said she wanted to come home.  I had my family back together for Christmas.  My point to my long story is God, and only God can change hearts.  God can mend something broken to be stronger and unbreakable.  Counseling is important, I just hope it is a good Christian counselor.  Try to place this in God's hands, and leave it there.  I pray for your and your husband's direction and for your peace, knowing God is walking beside you and has control of the situation.  He knows what He is doing and doesn't need your help.  Be blessed,   Michael

Thank you so much for the advice. About thirt min to an hour after I posted this I had strange and weird feelings come over me (my husband is here to help me the next 5 weeks) and to was so totally unnerveing it something I can't explain in any words. I had spent the last 2 and a half days useing our 2 kids against him guilt triping him, screaming at him and crying at him not to menching begging him not to do this. I knew we didn't have a perfect marriage but didn't know he felt this way. So I got this new wave of emotion and I finelly got what I had been trying to do all the years wasn't gonna be fixed no matter what. I tried to change so many times and it would only work for awhile I could stay changed. I would just give up and go back to the old me. I was searching the web yesterday and read a article on can my marriage be saved. and what I read was telling me not to do what I was doing. I asked god right than and there to help me I couldn't do it alone. I went into the living room and asked Brad to go for a drive and we did something totally out of the norm for us. I wanted away from normal surrondings and I began the talk by the happiest day in his life finding out we where having a son and talking about the day his son was born. And than together we figured out where things really went wrong and it was shortly after I had my son I snaped and filped out and haven't done nothing but be worse. I continued to tell him I know how I can change because I know now that I got to find what is broken and fix it before I can change it. After awhile he asked me a question and I answered truthfully and he drove right home because it made him mad. we got into the house I left him alone I did the dishes in the sink and stayed in the bedroom folding clothes and watching a movie a while later he walked into our room with a funny look on his face. I asked him what was wrong he said I don't know what to do with you. I knew he was confused he left for about 2 hours when he came home we talked a little more. I asked him if he would go to counseling or if I was going alone he agreed to go but his mind still hasn't changed but I am ok right know it didn't take hours to ruin our marriage and hours won't fix it but he thinking and thats more than he did yesterday morning.

Shantell,

I'm sorry things are bad...I haven't been through marriage or divorce, but I can only imagine what it is like.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Go to the counseling, even if you have to go alone.  You need it for your peace of mind.

Hugs,
Marsha

Chiming in on the go to counseling bandwagon.  There are no guarantees, but even if it doesn't save your marriage it will give you support to get through the divorce.  Sometimes, when we are in crisis, we can only see ONE THING we want or don't want to happen, but the truth of life is that there are many possibilities, some we haven't even thought of, and not all of them are bad.  Have hope for a great future!

I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU ARE HAVING TO DEAL WITH THIS!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER BUT HANG IN THERE AND KNOW THAT WE ARE HERE FOR YOU ANYTIME!