i am going crazy

since my 20 year old neice has moved in with me my home has been filled with drama..URRGH My peaceful existence is gone....I have went from calm to crisis all in less than a month. She is driving me crazy with her laziness, and her being boy crazy..worse part is she had a job at Braums quit it after 2 weeks cause two other employees were telling her she was doing her job wrong.....
I broke down and told her flat out to get a job and keep it or make other living arrangements. I have had enough!
She has till next Friday to do so or get out.
Am I being to harsh?

NO! You are not being harsh at all. It's YOUR home, so she can get on board or get down the road!.....Now if I could tell my 26yr old unemployed son & his G/F & 2 kids to do the same I would be in business!

I am wishing I had never brought here with me. In my gut I knew I was making a mistake. Maybe her new friend will find a place for her and they can play house. I wont let him near my apartment or even come inside.....I exact words were there is not enough lysol in OKC to disinfect my apt if he comes in...

(((((HUGS)))))

Pattye I am really sorry that she has brought so much drama to your life, and I applaud your decision to stick to your guns ( says the woman whos nephew still owes her money for helping him too) I have gotten either tougher or meaner in recent months as I have finally said ENOUGH to his and my neices crude. I hope that it all calms down for you soon.

Sarah,
I told her dad that I would do what he couldnt do...She can either be the adult she claims she is or pack up and leave. I really dont care which. Sounds mean but I am not going to revert back to old habits because of nerves.

I can understand your position.  The girl is 20 years old and she should be paying her own way.  I was married and moved across the country from my family and anyone I knew when I was 19.  There is no reason she can't get herself motivated and start making something of herself instead of chasing after some nasty boy.

I do wonder if the girl has ever been taught what it means to have a job and the need to work? I am absolutely shocked by the kids in our town at that age.  They are rude and lazy and have no idea why they might need a job.  Even worse, those who do have jobs think they are doing everyone a service just by working. 

Good luck!  I think you're on the right track.  I know it's hard to do, but she's gonna have to sink or swim in life. 

jen,
i was working and going to college at 20, helping my parents who were disabled. So it shocks me that she thinks she can lay around, go out have a good time, leave stuff in a mess and its ok. I went today found her at a friends (who she has only known for a month) and told her to come home now and get her crap picked up. She went there at 9 am she claims to have her new boy toy to walk with her while finding a job. I told her she knew she was going to live in a big city and that she had to get use to walking by herself.
I just do not understand her or her generation..they are lazy, selfish and self centered...

no hon your not my little big brother did the same thing to me. they know that you love them and if they have no place to go you will not kick them out they know that and they are evil little ******s. yes darn it i said little ******s b/c they are. im 26 and i swear i dont know what is wrong with kids today, look at me talking like i that much older than she is, tough love kick her butt out she will either become an adult and stand on her own two feet or she will beg you to come back and be ready to do what she has to do to keep and make a peaceful home.

Sweetie her brother is 22, works 40+ hours a week, is buying a home, and would walk to work everyday if he had too which he has..while she lays around and acts like a queen...
I told her today matter of fact job and working by the tenth or out. AND I am sticking to that.
I loaned her a cell phone to call me if she was out and to let me know what time she would be back...she never called me so i took the phone back and tore the sim card in half...she wants food different from what I eat I told her go get a job...buy it yourself...she asked me if her boutoy could spend the night I told her go get a job and a motel room..I DONT LEAVE THE LIGHT ON....
yeppers I am being the tough love AUNT double time

Wow Pattye I hate that for you.  I think we all know you well enought that when you've had enough you've had enough!  You of all people will not roll over and play dead and allow her to rule the roost or walk all over you.  You've come too far my dear.  There are no free rides regardless of what some may think.  I think you know that you would be doing the girl a huge favor if you do cut her loose.  She has to learn sometime and why not start now?  I thank God every day that my 3 kids learned good work ethic at young ages and are totally independant and making their own living.  I don't understand why your neice feels that you even owe her anything at all.  I think I'd even call in some part of the rent you pay if she does get a job and continue staying with you.  Nobody can walk all over us unless we allow it!!!  Pull up your "big girl panties" and get on with what you know you have to do!!!  We're all behind you girlfriend...