Do others make you feel like you will be a failure?

It is driving me crazy lately how many people keep telling me in a few years that I will be back to  being over weight.  Everyone says how nice I look.  Then they continue on to say how worried they are for me in a few years that every WLS patient they know, has put back on all there weight and some....  This just scares me to death.  I just smile and tell them that Yes, this is a tool and you have to commit to a new life style change or it would be very possible to back to ones old self.
I know that I am very conscious of this and will always stay in tune with the scales.
Just curious if any of you ever run into this situation.

Have a great evening,

Candee

While I have not had anyone say it to me right out, I can sense from a few people that they are thinking it, or maybe hoping it will happen so they can rub it in.
But, I chose this direction and I am commited to never going back to old habits. When people say this, or in my case insinuate it, I just use it as more fuel to prove them wrong and to help keep me committed!
I am carrying my consult pictures with me to remind myself when I need to that I will never be that person again.

Unfortunately there will always be those who choose to "watch" us fail.  It is what YOU choose that makes the difference.  You need to make the decision mentally that this is your new lifestyle and you choose to use it correctly.  It is more difficult to control the longer out you are, yes!!  But it is not impossible!!  Set yourself up with the right support group, friends, etc.  Make sure you are in control of the things you should have control over!  We have a surgical group that WANTS to see us regularly!  It doesn't have to be just once a year or when you have an issue.  They WANT us to keep in contact with them.  We are their best advertisement for success! 

Yes you can eat your way out of the good your surgery has done.  BUT if you are consistent, follow the recommendations and do "tune ups" as needed, you should remain successful and not regain.  I am almost 3 years out and over the last 1.5 years did gain about 10 lbs back.  I just recently met with my dietitian (who is STILL very proud of me) and we fine tuned my eating plan for the next few months. 

THIS CAN BE SUCCESSFUL!!  Do not let others predict or determine your fate. You are in control of this train....you WILL be successful!  Keep the right mindset that nothing is going to get you back in the same condition and just move forward.  Keep your before pictures and look at them if you get tempted or discouraged.  It HELPS!  I carry mine with me everywhere!! 

And remember, you are NOT alone in your journey.  We are all here with you!!  In the same boat, rocky sometimes, but we are here!!  You can always get a kick or a hug - just ask!!  You already are in the right mindset because of your committment!

Ruth

Candee,

I have dealt with it before and I have made up my mind to stay on top of it and prove to the world that not all of us has to regain. And yes I can see myself becoming scale obsessed if  I don'****ch that too, but I also want to watch instead of avoiding teh scales where I will know if I start gaining and I can go back to basics and stop it before it gets out of control. Don't let others who have no real ideal of what it takes tyou down.o live the life of a post op

I am pretty certain that my mother feels that way but hasn't said anything outright since I was pre-op.  I know that the people that have watched me gain and lose the same pounds many times over probably worry that i will regain.  That is probably human nature.

It is up to us to use our tool to it's best advantage.  I know I need to get firmly back on the wagon and quit playing with it.  I still have wonderful restriction at 10 months post-op.  I thank God daily for my restriction.  I fight each day to make good food choices.  I wish Dr. Walton had a way to work on my brain too- at least sometimes.

I agree with Denise. Maybe these people have watched us lose and gain weight so many times, that they just expect us to continue that pattern. Their minds can't grasp what we have had done and may never do so. Even my mind can't grasp this yet. My eating is the only thing that let's me know that I will do this. There is no way that I can eat the way I did before this. I have rules that are enforced on a daily basis by my tummy now. It is a constant reminder that I had to make changes in my life. Soon others will see the changes are here to stay.  I wish people understood just how hard this choice really was....and road we are traveling is also a hard road, but so worth the price!

Sherry

NO ONE HAS ACTUALLY SAID THESE THINGS TO ME BUT I HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS IN THE BACK OF MY MIND EVERY DAY. I AM SO AFRAID OF GOING BACK TO THAT PERSON BUT HOPEFULLY WITH THE HELP OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS I WON'T EVER BE THAT PERSON AGAIN. KEEP YOUR CHIN UP AND KNOW THAT YOU HAVE THE POWER IN YOUR HANDS NOW!

Candee you need to tell those nay sayers..this if they know so many folks that have gained weight back after WLS then why dont they write a friggin book and make some money off of it....There are studies out there that show the precentage of howe many do gain all of their weight back BUT its not 100% or 80 or even 50%. So kindly remember if youstay in control you wont be one of those.
By the way...if these people are so negative towards you..maybe you might need to find some postive folks..Hugs to ya

I was just talking to a friend of mine last night who had open RNY 10 years ago and she has taken off and kept off most of her weight.  She is not a "goal" weight but she is happy and content where she is.  She said for years she had people give her crap about putting it back on but she just ignored them.  Me personally I have people saying "Why arent you still losing at the rapid rate that you was the first few months.  I just smile and say "It didnt come on overnight and its not going to come off overnight either".  

That is one reason I was particular about those I shared with prior to my surgery.  I just think that some things shouldn't be a public forum open for any and all wanted or unwanted opinions.  I told only those I felt would be support to me and that I had to share with for my job.  I've had some ask me about my weight loss and if I am asked I will share with them at that time.  I don't feel like I need to explain my situation or justify what I did or why.  It's really none of their business and they need to just keep their opinions to themselves!!!  I don't even think I'd give them the satisfaction of an answer but I just might say "thank you for your unsolicited concern"!!!  You did this for YOU and YOU alone!!!  You are doing awesome!  Don't let the naysayers rain on your parade.  Be happy for this time.