So incredibly angry with my children right now!!

When I went out to the dining room this morning I saw that my table had been gouged.  None of them will own up to it, they keep blaming each other.  All I can gather is that somebody had put a full laundry basket on the table in front of another one, and it became a push-of-war.  They had to have been pulling the basket down pretty hard to have scratched it as badly as they did.  I was shaking and had tears in my eyes, I was so angry.  I went back into my bedroom, literally growling the whole way.  DH looked at the girls and told them, "I'd suggest you finish getting ready for school and get your butts out of the house, you do NOT want to be anywhere near your mother right now."

My kids are so disrespectful of personal property, be it theirs or somebody else's within our family.  They just don't care, and they trash EVERYTHING.  It's gotten to the point that I won't buy them anything new or nice anymore, because they'll just destroy it.

Yeah, it's just a table, and it can be covered. It doesn't change that they've destroyed yet another thing that doesn't belong to them.

As a consequence, all money that they earn from our upcoming yardsale will be going toward the refinishing of the table.  I was going to let them keep the money from whatever they sold.  When my mom gets here I'm going to have her supervise the refinishing.  (She builds custom furniture, so it's her gig.)

My gut reaction to all of this, after the girls left for school, was to go tearing through the pantry to find something to eat.  That can of DH's Pringles is still calling to me. Instead, I made myself a peanut butter & banana protein shake.  *le sigh*

When I get that emotional urge to eat, I tell myself I can have all the tuna that I want.....LOL.  It's ok to be angry, your disapproval and the consequences is what teaches the kids.  Without it, they would never learn.

I'm learning the same lesson with my parents-it's perfectly OK to be angry, doesn't mean I don't love them. It sounds like you did the right thing, distancing yourself so you could experience the anger without harming anyone with it.  Then you had a protein shake.

So, next time you look at that gouge, remember that it was a turning point for you-you made a good choice in spite of it! 

I'm so sorry that your table is now scratched so badly.  Kids...  I have 3 (thankfully now grown) and know from where you come!!!  You are doing the right thing in making them give up what money they would earn from the yard sale.  I'd still keep track of what would have been their parts and let them know how much it is when it's over and then remind them that it's your money now to help pay to repair the table.  I'm so proud of you for not eating the Pringles...wouldn't have solved a thing either!!!  You made an excellent choice and before long you won't even need to resort to that kind of thing at all....new behavior modifications will come and you'll just replace that need to eat with maybe going for a walk, exercising or something of that nature.  It's still a war for me to not want to "eat" to fix things.  It sure didn't help me all those years I know that for sure!!! 

Check out
http://www.loveandlogic.com/
There is nothing better for parents!  IMO!

I can so relate. I refuse to get the kids anything new till we get moved and only if they willingly allow me to throw anything i deem garbage I find in their rooms as I pack it. I did get themsome craft things this weekend at a yard sale but that was an installment on the tossing I am starting tomorrow.

I am really proud of you for not hitting the pringles and I hope that by the time they got home you were calmed down somewhat.

Im so glad mine are grown!...But then we have the grandkids here too... SO it is a endless cycle of little people...
Back in the day you could of lined them up an gave a general whooping.. But now with DHS lerking & other people minding other peoples busznes, you cant take a chance on disciplining your own kids.. And I myself have to make sure we exercise "time out" in this house. My son got his share of rear end tearing up as a kid (he is 26 now) my daughter(who is 18) on the other hand has NEVER in her life had a spanking. I don't envy anyone who is raising children...