In my humble opinion...

And keeping on the theme of struggles, reading the posts from Amy and Kim (and I know Kim has struggled for a while) brings me to first of all applaude you girls for your honesty - so you know, we all struggle, and I do mean all of us, some don't admit it, that's all. From my personal experience, the weight that we have carried for all these years has caused some emotional issues which has at different stages and different places in our lives affected our relationship with food. I, for one, do not at this point have a good relationship with food and I am supposed to be "working" on it - food should be my friend I have been told, but deep down I think, look what happened when food was my friend! So, some days I welcome food and accept it as part of my life, some days I try to avoid it, and that gets me into trouble.

I honestly think that when we eat stuff we are not supposed to, we go back to that old way of thinking of failure, and that is hard to shake off, after all, we have seen ourselves as failures throughout our obese life. I for one know that the reason I have always failed at dieting is because I could never forgive myself for making mistakes. I think, for most of us, WLS was our last hope and our last chance to lose weight and get healthy and the last thing we want to do is screw this up! When we catch ourselves falling into those nasty habits, we can't help it but think back to the failures - my most recent meeting with my old self and my old behaviors showed up in the shape of laziness - I caught myself making excuses for not working out, just like I used to...and believe me I had a zillion of them!

I do find it easier to pick myself up and move forward when I mess up, whether it is food or excercise, but, it is hard, very, very hard not to look back and fall into those habits. I have learned to forgive myself, and that may be the only thing that gets me moving forward.

I guess the point of this rumbling on is just that...forgive yourself, do have that little bit of food you are craving, and move on. And don't keep junk in the house! If I want something different, I go out and eat it, and then I am done with it. I caught myself buying snack foods, even recently, feeling guilty that my child at home did not have "fun" things to eat, but, I was such and idiot...my daughter never asked me for snacks!!!  In most cases, it is our old self talking and trying to call the shots and that is the hardest thing for me to fight off - my old self.

Just look what we have all accomplished! We are doing great...and we will make it to the end of the line!

 Well said!!

Ms Anna, that was thoughtful, well written post.  I know I need to get with the program and get the last 20 pounds off.  I have been playing with it for 2 1/2 months now.  I am maintaining but didn't allow myself to get to goal.  You are so right, we need to quit making exuses for not doing what we know is best for us.  But, we also need to forgive ourselves for small indulgences and hop right back on the wagon.

Sometimes I think it is too bad they didn't operate on my brain too!

Brovo Anna! Very well sid and thought out.

Will there be an altar call?  cuz if there is I need to go forward!!!  Girl, you were talking to me, I just know it.  I needed to hear this.  I did so good yesterday and then weighed this morning and was a pound up.  I felt those old familiar feelings....just screw it all you failed again.  You know the drill.  I almost didn't even go work out but I'm glad I did.  I redirected my thoughts and I am forgiving myself and moving on.  On the positive side, before I would have gained at least 5 lbs after an eating binge and I only gained 1.

I am so thankful for your words of encouragement this morning and glad I took a sec while getting ready for work to check this post.  Now...back to my hair and makeup! :)

Thank you Anna.  I do believe you hit the nail on the head!  We've all dieted most of our lives, gained back plus some, quit the diet and started again on Monday.  One little mistake with the "diet" and oh heck, I've messed up so I'll start again tomorrow.  I don't think it's easy to get past that "stinkin thinkin"!  I've always had to compare myself to an alcoholic (my Dad was one so it's very genetic).  Food was and has been my "drug of choice".  The only big difference for me is that we must have food in the house and around us and we don't have to have alcohol around.  I've made some bad choices in some of my grocery shopping.  My DH certainly doesn't ask for those things but....I need to have it around...for him...not!!!  I know we ALL need to work on forgiving ourselves and move on.  We first of all need to learn to "love" ourselves and see the self worth that many of us lack. 

We just need to go on from here, do what we know to do and above all things "love ourselves" and know we are worth all of this.  We've truly been blessed with new tools and valuable tools at that.  We just have to use it to the best of our ability.  Food really is NOT our friend.  As Kim as always said....food is for fuel, not entertainment!!!  Lets, all have a great day and do what we know to do. 

Thanks Anna for giving us all something to think about!!!  I for one and so grateful that I have such a wonderful support group and that we're all in this together!!!

This was a wonderful post to wake up to! Thanks Anna!

Sherry

Wow!  Who knew all that brilliance was in there?  I did!  I knew you are a smart chickie!

You are so right about the negative self talk.  I have been thinking things like, "Oh great!  You're gonna blow this too"!  It's hard not to fall back in to the same way of thinking that I have for 40  years.  Not sure why all of this has to be so difficult for some of us but there you have it.  We all have to live with it.  Some days I do better than others.  I really, really, really, really do NOT want to go back to the old gal I was.  She was huge and really embarrassed about it.  And you're also right that we feel that this is our "last chance" and maybe it is.  That is a scary thought but should be very motivating too!

Thanks for the post.  Made me think and now my brain hurts! 

It is still hard for me to believe that this is going to last.  And we do need to be aware that without following the rules, it won't last, but I think that excessive worry also often leads to a self fulfilling prophecy.

When the voices start making negative noises in my head, I tell them to shut up and go back to the basic band rules....protein first, solid food, don't drink with meals....and like a magic carpet or something, it works every time.

For me, and for a lot of us, we give "what if" way too much power in our lives.  <<<<>>>>> to Anna for posting this.