I need your prayers!

I had to take Java, my 15 year old Schipperke to the vet on Monday.  She was not feeling well, throwing up occasionally, not eating, and drinking lots of water and urinating a lot.  The vet, who is a family friend, did blood work and found that her kidneys are failing.  She kept Java in the hospital on IVs Monday night through Wednesday afternoon.  The kidney values came down tremendously, but not as much as she'd have liked for them to because Java's veins couldn't withstand the IV and kept blowing.  I picked her up yesterday evening and she felt so good.  I spent $400 on medication and special renal diet food for her.  When we got home she  ran in the backyard, played with Cadillac, and ate very well.  Medicine is another story for her, but I got it all down her like I was suppose to last night.  The vet told me to watch her and if any of her symptoms came back soon that I would probably have to make a decision.  I don't want to make that decision, but I don't want her to suffer because of my selfishness either.  I set my alarm to get up at 3 a.m. and give her medication that has to be given two hours before she eats.  She expects to eat when I get up at 5, so I made the effort to give her meds.  Then when I fed her, she wouldn't touch the food.  Later when I was scrounging around looking for something to wear, she threw up.  My heart just sank,  I thought she was doing so well. 

I know she's "just a dog" to most people, but to me she's my best friend and my baby.  I just pray that God gives me the strength to do what is right and not be selfish because I want to keep her.  I have had a rough few days with her illness and I am worried about her.  I find myself tearing up and even crying just thinking about what I may have to do.  I know it's wrong to feel this way, but it almost makes me want to just push everything and everyone away so I don't get attached again.  It won't happen, but I'm struggling right now.  Please say a prayer for Java and one for me too.  I just need some peace with this.

Hugs,
Marsha

Huge Hugs Marsha, I pray that God gives you the streangth to get through this very difficult time..

Keeping you and Java in my thoughts and prayers..

Sheila

Oh, Marsha, I'm so sorry to hear of what you and Java are going through. She is a part of your family, and it's only natural that you are upset. It is a difficult decision to put down a pet, but when it's time, you'll be able to do that. Seeing a beloved pet in pain pushes you to do it. I believe that our pets will be waiting for us in Heaven. If there are horses there (as in the Book of Revelation), there sure can be other animals. I believe you will see Java again, if you have to say goodbye to her now. Little consolation, I know. God bless you and give you strength.
(((Hugs))),
Mary

Hey Marsha - no she not "just a dog", she part of your family..... With that being said, I know we need to make tough decisions sometimes, and it is usually what is best for the dog the we must do. I had to make that decision twice before, and was especially heartbreaking for one of our dogs that got really sick and nothing could be done about it - his name was Toby and was only three years old and we were not prepared at all!  We have three dogs now and I know we will probably be faced with these situations again in the future. I pray that Java pulls through and that you have the strenght to handle whatever decision you may need to make - just be prepared and know that she has loved you unconditionally and counts on you to do what is best for her. Hugs

SO SORRY FOR YOUR TROUBLES. I KNOW THEY ARE NOT JUST DOGS TO THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE THEM LIKE A MEMBER OF THEIR FAMILY. I HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT SEVERAL TIMES AND I CRY LIKE A BIG BABY EVERY TIME. IT DOESN'T GET EASIER! I PRAY THAT YOU WILL HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET THRU THIS TRYING TIME AND KNOW THAT WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

Marsha...
There is NEVER such a thing as just a DOG when they are part of your family. We have 3 great danes and they are the loves of our life, we will and have done everything to make sure they are taken care of and always will. You and Java are in my thoughts and I feel for you in having to make hard decisions about you best friend.

Huggz
Kim

Losing anyone is hard. Family members are our pets too, sure many don't understand that, but that is their problem. I have had to put down 3 dogs and each one was a hard decision. For me at each decision was the matter of money too....I know many would say, it should not have been an issue...but I had to decide if we were going to put money into TRYING to save the animal for a few more months, when  on each occasion, the outlook was next to none,  and they were old. I had to do what was best for the pet and for my own family. It was overwhelming.

I will pray that God gives you the strength to do whatever you have to do and gives you peace about what you decide....We do understand the consuming feelings you are going through. My heart goes out to you.

Hugs back
Sherry

Marsha,

I'm so sorry, you are in my prayers

Thank you all for your support!  I am really trying to get through this without completely throwing off my workday.  Thankfully I have a very supportive and caring aide in my classroom and she has allowed me to stay in my office and get through today.

Sherry, I know exactly what you mean about the money issue.  I spent $400 on all of the meds and special foods yesterday...I don't have $400 more to spend, even though I would if I thought it was going to help her live, but then again that's just me being selfish.

I was on my way to the vet's office three years ago with my Shih Tzu and knew I was going to have to make that hard decision.  I think she must have known I was struggling with that, because just before we got to the office, she stood up on the console in my car and patted my arm with her paw.  I thought she was feeling better, then all of a sudden she let out a yelp and fell back in the back seat and was gone.  It was a horrible experience, but at least I didn't have to make that decision then. 

Thanks again for all of your support!

Hugs,
Marsha

"The decision" is the last loving one you make for a friend who is suffering.  I am a big quality of life person-and when the quality goes, it's time to go-that goes for animals and people too.

I don't like the term "just a dog" or having people tell me I spend too much time/money/love on my animals.  Who can tell another person's heart what to feel?  That's why I love my animals so much, they don't try.

When I lose a pet, I mourn for them the way I loved them-full on, and the pain has never been more than I could take-and the joy keeps me full forever.