I just want to SCREAM....and its LONG

I didn't have any complications, and about 2 months out I got really and truly pissed.  I mean, not just cranky, I would sit and just stare and be sooooooo angry-at what, I have no idea.  I called it "Band Rage" and I've decided it was just a build up of not being able to eat my stress away.....so the stress just built and built and built.  You have been through an awful lot in a very short time, and are not able to eat it away.  So, while you are probably feeling hungry, you are also feeling frustrated at the whole mess and that is the source of your rage.

For immediate relief, yell into a pillow.  It really does help.  Then figure out other stress relievers besides eating.  But don't expect your fickle brain to give up the idea that it wants to eat that easily-you'll think about it for awhile even while you ride your bike or whatever.  But the endorphins will help, really they will. 

I had wrote this very long reply back to you. Then I decided that it was not going to help you in the way I wanted.
So dear heart, I have went through 9 surgeries including my rny. I know that I had to go through that to be able to help people who are dealing with complications.
There is no support group to go that is just for folks like us..its not talked about alot...it is more like you dont tell cause we dont want the newbies the pre ops to be scared.
So I know PAIN I know what it is like to hurt laying down or siting up I know the damn feeling that you get when you tell your surgeon you are in pain and he says discomfort....
I know how much meds cost....try having to buy an expensive antibitoic for MRSA that for 7 pills is $1750.00. And after taking them once you are told you have to buy them again...THANK GOD for WAL-GREENS....I have spent this last year in meds for all my complications  a total of over 9450.00. And none of that was covered by insurance.
My simple advice to you is this...go take a long hot shower, let the water wash away the anger you feel the negative that you have received from the docs....then get out put on your favorite outfit do your hair and makeup and instead of letting the pain, etc control you..you control the pain. Go for walks, do low carb slim fast for nutrition..and slowly nibble on foods that are easy on the tummy....
Hunger true hunger for an rnyer is not like it was before surgery. We show that we need food by dizzy spells, lightheadeness,headaches that wont go away, stomach growling etc is not a sign for us...cause nothing goes in it any more....
I do know your frustration..I chose to deal with all my complications by not letting it control me...I have been in recovery more than anything else and out of this I have learned so much about me...I am a stronger woman than ever before, I have no limits, and I am more bold and brassy than ever, plus I have one thing that has kept me going...knowing that this too shall end....this is just a small speck of time in your life...
and as the old folks would say plant a smile on your face, and joy in your heart for with those you will overcome...
if you need to talk....I am here....hugs, smiles and above of all wishes for your pain to go away...

Dang Patti you even made me feel better for her and for myself and I didn't have anything wrong with me at the moment!! You are good!! I look at the roads you have traveled and mine looks like a well paved road. Hugs to you and a pat on the back for hanging in there!

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  I have been very fortunate to only have a minor complication.  I do know that I have had some symtoms of depression and anger that you are feeling.  I think this is normal to some degree.  I keep telling myself it is.  My brother also had surgery 2 weeks after I did and he's dealing with some of this too.  Although you are hurting your's is much worse. 
I hope this time passes quickly for you and you feel better soon.  At least you know you have lots of people who care and you aren't alone in this! 
Venting on here is a good thing.  It saves those around you! LOL! 
Get up and feel better.  *(the power of suggestion!) LOL!
Hugs to you
Kim J.

Nothing I can say will make it any better for you.  Just know a big hug is being sent your way!

This is ABSOLUTELY the right place to vent.  We will always listen and send your our best thoughts and prayers.

Denise

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  I can totally understand.  I was sick for 2 months with major shoulder pain and couldn't eat or drink hardly anything.  Kept going back to the doctor's for more CT's and finally about 3 months out they found a leak.  I was off of food and fluids for over 8 1/2 weeks the first time.  Combine that with 3 major bacterial infections and 10 days each month Sept, Oct, Nov & Dec. in the hospital and I understand your frustration.  I still have my PICC line in because I may have to have 2 hernia's fixed but after 7 months later, I think I'm finally over the worst of it.  I'm still having problems keeping food down and I do not get anywhere close to enough liquids down but I try hard.  We are just the unlucky ones who get to have the complications.  I would recommend though that if you can't ingest enough food soon, that you ask for some nutrition like TPN.  You have to have a PICC line to get it but it will definitely help your lack of nutrition.

Hang in there and always feel free to vent.  That's what we are here for and hopefully it will get better soon. 

OMG YOU ARE HAVING A TANTRUM AREN'T YOU? WELL I THINK WE ALL DESERVE TO HAVE ONE OR TWO OR THREE! I DO HOPE YOU GET TO FEELING BETTER. I KNOW YOU ARE HUNGRY AND IT IS NOT JUST IN YOUR HEAD! I TRIED TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD BUT I KNOW I WAS HUNGRY AND I FELT BETTER AFTER I LEARNED TO EAT AGAIN. I SAY LEARNED TO EAT AGAIN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR WHOLE OUTLOOK ON FOOD AND HOW YOU EAT IT. I COULDN'T WAIT TO EAT A SCRAMBLED EGG  FOR MY FIRST MEAL AND THEN I THREW IT UP THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE I INHALED IT! BUT YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN. I TOO WENT THRU A DEPRESSED STATE BUT YOU GET THRU IT AND PICK YOURSELF UP AND PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES WHILE THEY STILL FIT!! YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE AND WE ARE ALL HERE TO HELP YOU THRU THIS SO JUST ASK AND VENT AWAY!!