Embarrassed by Post-Op Personality Change...

It has been 9 weeks since my surgery & I'm down 50+ lbs. (pre-op loss included).  Honestly, I feel great - energy is high, no complications.  However, I don't think I'm as nice of a person.    I have less patience with my children, husband, dogs & extended family.  Maybe it's because I can't turn to food to stuff my emotions????  I don't know.  Don't get my wrong - I'm happy, but I seem to get cranky easier.  Also, I have less tolerance when my husband is being a jerk (he's a workaholic & therefore often doesn't have much patience himself).

Someone please tell me I'm not alone!!!  Is this just a phase?  I hope it passes while I still have some people that will talk to me.  My tongue is bleeding from my feeling the need to bite it so often.

You are not alone. Noo one would like me in person if I didn't have my nerve pills.

I think it is a phase many of us go through.  I called mine "band rage" because I no longer could eat away my frustrations.  

No, sweetie you are definitely not alone - I was a real trip at that stage!  I was very moody and awfully cranky. I don't really know why, maybe it is our inability to turn to food; it has passed for the most part, but, I am not as patient as I used to be and even though things have evened out for the most part, I was definitely more passive before the weight loss and I was just "nicer" - I see it as a positive mostly - I do think that we gain a lot more confidence and our true personality surfaces when we no longer feel inadequate due to the weight.

Yes, I personally believe it is in part due to the fact that we cant' "eat" our emotions anymore.  I also underwent some big personality changes.  I am more likely to speak my mind now than before (not necessarily a good thing- just ask my family!)  I am also no longer content to be single. 
Imagine after 23 years happily single (or at least that is what I told myself) I knew that alone was no longer OK.  So, I have thrown myself back into the dating scene.  Gee, is it a different world out there.  Be glad you aren't longing for a new man in your life.  Kinda makes a little lack of patience look mild, huh??
My hormones also went wacky (sorry guys, know it is TMI) and I got horrible hot flashes.  So, be prepared for some other wackiness to creep in for the next few weeks and month.

Knowing everything I know now I would have had the surgery SOONER!  Life is good on this side of the sleeve!

This is a phase! Besides the food issues, your hormones are probably going wacko. I never had normal cycles or ovulation prior to surgery and had a horrible time regulating my birth control after surgery. Once we got all that under control, my hormones calmed down.

Also, I think after we have weight loss surgery and begin losing weight, we become more confident and, therefore, more assertive. People are not used to that and they take it the wrong way and you feel like a jerk. At least that's how I felt.

Hi, Teri.
It's a combination of hormones, the surgery, the new eating, and, especially, being forced to do something other than use food to stuff down your emotions. You'll find new, more healthy ways to cope with your emotions, and you'll be able to gain some perspective and take a few breaths before putting your feelings into words. There are days when I take a vow of silence, for the good of the whole world. :)
Blessings,
Mary

What you are going through is very normal I think.  I'm not the same as before WLS.  I think as obese people we tended to "go with the flow" so that we wouldn't have to be noticed or have confrontation.  Now, we feel more "normal" and by golly want our feelings and needs known.  You've sat back and allowed things to happen too long.  Maybe it's time to have that discussion with your DH that you need more of his time now.  I do have to bite my tongue a lot especially with my extended family these days.  I does get better though.  You are doing an awesome job by the way!!!

I think part of it is hormonal -- believe it or not, when you lose weight your hormones are imbalanced for a while.  Secondly, you used to eat your frustration, now you can't.  Just try to stop and think how the words that are coming from your mouth would feel if they were directed at you.  That seems to slow me down when I'm about to take a bite out of someone.  Good luck. 

I feel overwhelmed a LOT!  I know how you feel!