People are interesting - a take on Marsha's post below

Marsha brought out some interesting thoughts about people in general and how they love to give their opinions so let me share an experience I just had.

We are doing some construction at our office.  One of my old high school teachers is doing some of the work and he noticed my weight loss.  So as usual, I was honest and said I had wls.  We discussed my journey and he shared that his wife had RNY and that she was doing very well.  (you thought he was gonna be the bad buy, huh?)  Unknown to me, some older dude I didn't even know was listening to my conversation.  So he took it upon himself to say, "You know what I did to lose weight?  I just pushed back from the table!" 

WTF!!!!!?????  Who is this man to pass judgement on the level of my willpower?  Now this man probably weighed 150 soaking wet and was of a different generation.

I can say that I had visions of someone having to pull me off of him as I clawed, punched and rearranged his face.  I am proud to say that I did none of the above.  In fact, I considered the source and let it roll off of me like water off a duck's back. 

I had the power as to whether I would let his ill informed comments hurt me.  I knew he was talking out of his butt and didn't understand obesity in the least.

Ok, I'm rambling.  But most of you know I can be pretty honest so I'll just say that opinions are like buttholes - everyone has one.  It is up to you whether you let some butthole question your decisions!

(I'm not always this tough so remind me if I'm crying over someone hurting my feelings!)

Kim

Glitter, you make a very good point when you say that this man simply did not understand obesity, the struggles that come with it and saying that he is narrow minded would be the least. Here is and example I am going to bring up - this would be my own sister, and though I love her to pieces, she can be narrow-minded.....she has always praised my weight loss, has not once, however, inquired how I feel, physically and emotionally, never even displayed any curiosity or any concerns about the surgery (nor has she criticized it), and does not believe that obesity is a disease. She is one of those that think that yes, you go on the low fat law carb diet that her primary physician gives her and you keep your weight to where it should be. Now, she has never been has heavy as I have been, she has had her ups and downs, but she controls her weight fairly well; however, she could not agree with me once that the way my body processes a piece of cake and that way hers does are different! It has not occurred to many people that we are not obese because we eat all day long, but it is because of how our bodies and metabolism work! I have known so many people that would eat a ton of food, of any kind, and be thinner than me, who was dieting constantly. 

Now, it would be a good thing if my sister would wake up and smell the bacon cooking...her husband is very overweight and has already had two heart attacks, is on a ton of pills....they have two small children and he desperately needs to lose weight...but unless they both get their heads out of their buttholes.........their reason for not looking into WLS is that he is an emotional eater....mmmm....weren't we all?

So, ultimately, I know I did this for myself and my family because I did not want to end up incapacitated by my weight, and I was certainly heading there, and my daughter deserved better than that!  I know I did this was the right reasons and so have you and the many wonderful friends I made on this journey - outside opinions can kiss the largest part of my body (those who know me personally know what that it!!)  Hugs....

I remember clearly when I was trying to explain something to my mother and realized there was no way she could understand-not because she was stupid, but because she had never been 100 pounds overweight....then I extrapolated and realized, no one who hadn't been big really could quite understand.  When I realized it was impossible for them, I didn't take their comments quite so harshly.  I realized they were truly ignorant, and I mean that in an innocent way, not an ugly way.

 

HOWEVER, there are rules for good conversation, and in spite of my new found understanding, I can and do look at perfect strangers who say stupid things and smile and say "How RUDE!" because it is. (AND it always makes me laugh inside because we all know what a proper lady I really am.....LOL). 

AMEN Kim!!!!! I have heard that line one too many times in my life! And the worst part is we are going to hear it even more times then we want to hear it still!   Very good post!

Unfortunately some people are completely self-centered. They are unwilling or unable to see things from another person's perspective. Everything revolves around them and if you happen to disagree with them they are prone to lash out.

I saw a bumper sticker once that I loved: Mean people SUCK!

Jerri   

My dad still don't understand it and it juts ****** me off at times.  He thinks everyone is built the same and all you gotta do is "quit draweing that fork up to your fat mouth, get off your fat ass, and go do something".  He is 66 years old and works CONSTANTLY, non stop, all day.  He is 5'9" and about 180.  When I was growing up I was 5'9" and 200 pounds but thats cause he worked my ass off and I never had TIME to eat.  He refused to pay for the surgery to help me out.  Mom had to pay for it out of her OWN money and now she is nearly broke due to all the money we have had to shell out.  now here is a man who is a millionaire making his wife pay for it cause he dont want to pay to save his kid's life?!?!  yet he can buy a $50,000 truck every 3 years and go on vacations once a month all over the USA?  BULL****  Dad wasnt even going to come to the hospital on the day of my surgery and everyone told him that if he didnt they would disown him, mom even said she would divorce him if he didnt come up.  It hurts to even talk about this when one of the persons who should support you the most dont care and thinks you should just "work more eat less" to lose weight.  I tried that for years it didnt work.  And when you get so heavy that working, hell even walking in Wal-mart, hurts so bad that you have to take pain pills just to sleep, well you all know what I mean.  Everyone else in my family has been SOOOO supportive and comment me all the time how good I am doing.  Dad just sits there and rolls his eyes.  Sorry for the rant but I needed to get that out.

Oh it's very good to rant! My dad was an abusive SOB and I'm still in therapy. 
It's good your Mom and family is supportive.  But I know it hurts about your dad. 

Jerri

My mother who gave me an early inheritance to do this surgery, asked me why I didn't have one of the other surgeries instead of the sleeve....I started to explain and she says...Oh that's right you like food to much! It is hard to be appreicative for her early gift to me when she is still throwing out digs at my weight. She makes sure to call me whenever Oprah has anything on about weight loss too.....My sister makes comments all the time too, yet she is larger than I am.....It is very hard to kinda defend. No one knows my life or my eating patterns. I happen to be one of those people who doesn't eat most of the time....so my body shuts down.....Finally it seems to be working since I am making myself eat, but now my mom says "Well you lost this weight on your own, why can't you keep losing and not do the surgery??"  She never stops....Even if she paid for my surgery....I paid for all the pre-ops and I don't want my mom at the hospital.It is not a requirement for her to be there just because she gave me an early gift. She will cause me stress that I don't need while there, so this should be a good one to deal with!

Kim you look great and feel great  so no one can question that!
Dan, I am so sorry for what you have gone through with your Dad. I know it has to be very hard for a young man to be treated like this by his own father.

Great post Kim, and all the posts are good.  I can agree with all of you on that if I hadn't needed the surgery I wouldn't have been back up to over 300 lbs. after losing 200 on my own.  Ok, it worked the first time why won't it work now?  I don't know why, but it wouldn't and I want to be back like I was then and even smaller.  I went out with a guy back in the summer when I was getting ready for this, and I mentioned to him that I was going to have surgery.  We stood in a parking lot for way over an hour with him giving me all the negatives about the surgery.  His basic take was push back from the table, you'll be ok.  Needless to say that date didn't go anywhere!  

Hugs,
Marsha

There is small group of girls that I know and see in a social environment every once in awhile. They are all large women. I have always loved being around them, they are very funny and entertaining. The last time I saw them, they asked how I had been losing weight. I told them about my band surgery, even lifted up my shirt and let them feel of my port. One of them made a comment that she didn't know if I could hang out with anymore since I was going to be thin, they may have to kick me out of the "fat club". I didn't quite know what to think....