Can I cry on your shoulder?
Hi all,
I'm sorry to be a sad sack especially this being New Year's Eve and all, but I just really needed to vent. As you may recall, I started this whole process in September. I have had a lot of the testing out of the way, except for my sleep study I had to reschedule, an EGD to be done in January. Now, since my employer decided to change insurances unbeknownst to me as of December 16th, I am just so lost.
I paid 300.00 in November to get started with testing, etc. Now, I find out the new insurance requires a 3-month supervised diet, which in all actuality I don't really mind. It's just my husband broke his hand at the end of November, had surgery on December 3rd and cannot wor****il sometime in February. I was told by the coordinator at the surgeon's office, I would have to pay the deductible up front, (600.00). (I also didn't have a deductible with my old insurance). Also, in order for me to participate in the 3-month supervised plan, it's going to cost me 225.00. I don't really know if I have my EGD on the 21st how much that will be or if I will have to pay the 600.00 up front for that first or what. I'm just so sad. Everything was moving right along so smoothly UNTIL our insurance changed. I'm just so sick about it. Plus, I am worried if I don't get everything done and paid for I will lose the 300.00 I have already paid to get things going.
Again, I'm sorry to be depressing, but I've already talked my husband's ear off on it, and I know it makes him feel really badly that he can't really do anything to help right now, so I wanted to vent to you all.
Thank you all for listening. HUGS and Happy New Year!
Paulette
I'm sorry to be a sad sack especially this being New Year's Eve and all, but I just really needed to vent. As you may recall, I started this whole process in September. I have had a lot of the testing out of the way, except for my sleep study I had to reschedule, an EGD to be done in January. Now, since my employer decided to change insurances unbeknownst to me as of December 16th, I am just so lost.
I paid 300.00 in November to get started with testing, etc. Now, I find out the new insurance requires a 3-month supervised diet, which in all actuality I don't really mind. It's just my husband broke his hand at the end of November, had surgery on December 3rd and cannot wor****il sometime in February. I was told by the coordinator at the surgeon's office, I would have to pay the deductible up front, (600.00). (I also didn't have a deductible with my old insurance). Also, in order for me to participate in the 3-month supervised plan, it's going to cost me 225.00. I don't really know if I have my EGD on the 21st how much that will be or if I will have to pay the 600.00 up front for that first or what. I'm just so sad. Everything was moving right along so smoothly UNTIL our insurance changed. I'm just so sick about it. Plus, I am worried if I don't get everything done and paid for I will lose the 300.00 I have already paid to get things going.
Again, I'm sorry to be depressing, but I've already talked my husband's ear off on it, and I know it makes him feel really badly that he can't really do anything to help right now, so I wanted to vent to you all.
Thank you all for listening. HUGS and Happy New Year!
Paulette
Hi, Paulette.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. These changes in plans are so upsetting. I've read posts like this more than once, for sure. In so many cases, I've watched everything unfold and end up just as good, if not better, than what it would have been with the original insurance company.
If you have to start over, and too much is required up front, shop around. You'll have time to do that, for sure. Call the new insurance company and see what is covered, how much, etc. Write everything down, and get the name of the person with whom you speak.
While I know this is upsetting and seems overwhelming right now, I believe that everything happens for a reason. If you can release this, instead of continuing to be upset (as difficult as that is to do), you will feel so much better.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new year. It's going to be an awesome year, and you WILL get your surgery. It will be the right time.
Be gentle with yourself right now, and with your husband. He wants to know you're okay and coping with this change in plans. Do what you need to do (go out somewhere and scream, cry, break old dishes), then come home and announce, "I will NOT let this ruin my day/year/life!" You can do this, Paulette.
Blessings,
Mary
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. These changes in plans are so upsetting. I've read posts like this more than once, for sure. In so many cases, I've watched everything unfold and end up just as good, if not better, than what it would have been with the original insurance company.
If you have to start over, and too much is required up front, shop around. You'll have time to do that, for sure. Call the new insurance company and see what is covered, how much, etc. Write everything down, and get the name of the person with whom you speak.
While I know this is upsetting and seems overwhelming right now, I believe that everything happens for a reason. If you can release this, instead of continuing to be upset (as difficult as that is to do), you will feel so much better.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new year. It's going to be an awesome year, and you WILL get your surgery. It will be the right time.
Be gentle with yourself right now, and with your husband. He wants to know you're okay and coping with this change in plans. Do what you need to do (go out somewhere and scream, cry, break old dishes), then come home and announce, "I will NOT let this ruin my day/year/life!" You can do this, Paulette.
Blessings,
Mary
"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how BIG your God is!"
ObesityHelp Support Group Leader and Support Group Coach
ObesityHelp Support Group Leader and Support Group Coach
Thank you so much, Mary. You always have such comforting and uplifting words. I have always been a believer in things happening for a reason. It's just frustrating sometimes. Especially when you feel like you are so close to something and then everything changes so quickly. Alas, such is life. Nothing is ever for certain.
I'm also missing my mom a lot too, which adds to everything. She has almost been gone for 5 months. I have been waking up for the last 3 to 4 mornings and have been crying, but can't remember the dreams. Although, I remember one from the night before last in which I was at the hospital to have surgery and in a waiting room full of people awaiting the same. I walked down a corridor to the end and my surgeon comes out of a door and calls a name. I tell him I will go and make the announcement in the waiting room. When I go in I make the announcement, but when I look up and around at all the people, I see two figures that are all solid black, they look almost like shadows and I cannot make out their faces, but I felt they were "death." I got a little scared and hoped they weren't for me. I watched them go past me and past some other people and then I didn't see them anymore.
I then entered another room and my mom was in a gurney and she had the lap band surgery. I asked her if she was in pain and she said it did hurt a little. I stroked her hair and told her I was about to experience it soon. I leaned down and kissed her cheek and a nurse took her away. Then I walked back into a waiting area where a lady sitting at a desk asked to see me. I stood at her desk where she was giving me my mother's belongings--eye glasses and some papers or something and she told me she had died. I remember thinking in the dream I am experiencing this again and I cried and cried, and was thinking the whole time why in the world would my doctor give a lap band to someone who had COPD like my mother and was in bad health? I woke up then crying. But, this is the 2nd dream since my mom has been gone I have actually "seen" her. Not sure what to make of it.
Anyway, I do appreciate all of your comforting words, Mary.
God Bless you,
Paulette
I'm also missing my mom a lot too, which adds to everything. She has almost been gone for 5 months. I have been waking up for the last 3 to 4 mornings and have been crying, but can't remember the dreams. Although, I remember one from the night before last in which I was at the hospital to have surgery and in a waiting room full of people awaiting the same. I walked down a corridor to the end and my surgeon comes out of a door and calls a name. I tell him I will go and make the announcement in the waiting room. When I go in I make the announcement, but when I look up and around at all the people, I see two figures that are all solid black, they look almost like shadows and I cannot make out their faces, but I felt they were "death." I got a little scared and hoped they weren't for me. I watched them go past me and past some other people and then I didn't see them anymore.
I then entered another room and my mom was in a gurney and she had the lap band surgery. I asked her if she was in pain and she said it did hurt a little. I stroked her hair and told her I was about to experience it soon. I leaned down and kissed her cheek and a nurse took her away. Then I walked back into a waiting area where a lady sitting at a desk asked to see me. I stood at her desk where she was giving me my mother's belongings--eye glasses and some papers or something and she told me she had died. I remember thinking in the dream I am experiencing this again and I cried and cried, and was thinking the whole time why in the world would my doctor give a lap band to someone who had COPD like my mother and was in bad health? I woke up then crying. But, this is the 2nd dream since my mom has been gone I have actually "seen" her. Not sure what to make of it.
Anyway, I do appreciate all of your comforting words, Mary.
God Bless you,
Paulette
Hi, Paulette.
I believe that the Lord knew you needed more time to deal with your fear of dying and your grief at having lost your mother so recently. I hope you will take this time to work on both those things, even if you haven't realized this.
It sounds like you were very close to your mom. I understand that, and while it's precious, it sure makes it hard to let go, doesn't it. It sounds like you're wanting to see your mom, and the best way to do that is to dream about her. I wanted to dream about my mom so badly. I finally did, and it was so wonderful.
My mother looked so young. I asked her how old she was, and she laughed and said, "I chose to be 30 forever!" Apparently, you get to choose how old you want to be, for all eternity. We had such a good chat, and the hug she gave me was amazing. It filled me down and up, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and back again! She told me that she knew I was missing her but she wanted me to know that she was so very happy. If I only knew what life was like in Heaven, I wouldn't wish for her to come back.
Paulette, you comforted your mother after her "lap band surgery," just like she would comfort you after your surgery. I believe she will be there with you. She passed away, in your dream, because, perhaps, you fear that will happen to you. I may be way off base, but it might be something to think about.
I'd also encourage you, if you aren't already seeing a therapist, to do so. Go, about your surgery. Go, about your mom. Find a safe person and place, to cry out. Your mom would not want you to grieve for her too long, and the length of time of grieving does not equal the depth of your love for the one who's gone.
I know better how to pray for you, Paulette, and I want you to know that I will do that. I care about you, and I'm here for you, whenever/if ever you need me.
Blessings,
Mary
I believe that the Lord knew you needed more time to deal with your fear of dying and your grief at having lost your mother so recently. I hope you will take this time to work on both those things, even if you haven't realized this.
It sounds like you were very close to your mom. I understand that, and while it's precious, it sure makes it hard to let go, doesn't it. It sounds like you're wanting to see your mom, and the best way to do that is to dream about her. I wanted to dream about my mom so badly. I finally did, and it was so wonderful.
My mother looked so young. I asked her how old she was, and she laughed and said, "I chose to be 30 forever!" Apparently, you get to choose how old you want to be, for all eternity. We had such a good chat, and the hug she gave me was amazing. It filled me down and up, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and back again! She told me that she knew I was missing her but she wanted me to know that she was so very happy. If I only knew what life was like in Heaven, I wouldn't wish for her to come back.
Paulette, you comforted your mother after her "lap band surgery," just like she would comfort you after your surgery. I believe she will be there with you. She passed away, in your dream, because, perhaps, you fear that will happen to you. I may be way off base, but it might be something to think about.
I'd also encourage you, if you aren't already seeing a therapist, to do so. Go, about your surgery. Go, about your mom. Find a safe person and place, to cry out. Your mom would not want you to grieve for her too long, and the length of time of grieving does not equal the depth of your love for the one who's gone.
I know better how to pray for you, Paulette, and I want you to know that I will do that. I care about you, and I'm here for you, whenever/if ever you need me.
Blessings,
Mary
"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how BIG your God is!"
ObesityHelp Support Group Leader and Support Group Coach
ObesityHelp Support Group Leader and Support Group Coach
Oh Paulette. I know how disheartening this can be. I went through 2 insurances changes when I started this whole process at the end of 2006. Here it is just minutes away from 2009 and I am still waiting, but not much longer. Keep your chin up. I will be praying for you to have a successful transition.
Emily
Emily
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