OMIGOSH

I got on the scales today. I haven't weighed since novemher 3rd. I have gained 10.5 pounds. I am up to 314.6 . I am so huge I feel like a hefrfalump. I really really feel low about myself. Ican't believe I have let myself get this fat. What do I do???????????  I feel like bawling.

Any energy spent beating yourself up would be better spent working out, planning meals, clearing out troublesome foods from the kitchen, etc.  Beating yourself up probably got you here in the first place, let's try something new!

Debra, after i had about a 10 minute cry, I dusted myself off and cleaned out the cabinets. I vowed to start getting enough water in and I evaluated what was in the cabinets and what I needed to shop for. I will be shopping on Wednesday when my mom gets paid and gives me her "rent". I will be buying high protein, low carb as this is the best way for me to lose weight and it is best for my blood sugar as well. Thanks for helping me put things into perspective.

Emily I am so sorry.  I know the feeling all too well.  You feel like a failure which makes you turn to food even more.  Been there done that and sometimes still try to do it.  Try to motivate yourself.  Watch a season of the biggest loser or something and get you mind focused on what you could be doing and not on how you messed up.  Hang in there.

Thanks for the enncouragement. I am over my pity party. It lasted about 10-15 minutes. I know what I have to do and I will do it. I know I have a great support system to help me out. I have my family and my OH family. I know I can always turn to your all to help me stay on track. I have not given up, I am going to crawl over this hurdle.

Emily, I am so sorry!  I know that this Holiday Season is a hard one with trying to get the weight off to have the surgery. I fully understand that. Today was my Christmas with my kids and though it was healthier than normal, it was still a typical Holiday meal.
You have to focus now...The Holidays are over and it's time to focus. You may be swollen due to  excess water retention, but it is now time to take control. I don't want to say this, but if you have not weighed since November 3rd, then you may not have been ready yet to lose this. That is nearly 2 months! I weigh 3 times a week to keep myself in check for this. I have to maintain it! If I want this surgery then I have to! If you want it, you too have to get serious. I know weighing is not always a good thing, but for now I need to. Go back to the origanal diet the Nutritionist gave you. Crying wont do, but maybe you need to cry for a stress relief! Cry, then get back to believing in yourself! I do understand, many of us do so don't go around kicking your own butt! We love you Emily!
Sherry

I know you are right. I haven't yet seen the nut. I see her on Dec 31st. I am going to get myself back on track. I had myself a good cry. The last week or so I have eaten everything is sight and it hasn't been becuase I was hungry. It was out of boredom. I need something to do besides eat. I have gotten all the snacks out of the house and I am going to start the South Beach Diet again in the morning when I get up. I lost quite a bit of weight on it the first time I did it. So that is my plan of action. Yes, it is a low/healthy carb diet. The first 2 weeks are virtually no carbs. I can do this. I have to do this. I don't know how much weight the doctor will want me to lose since I don't see him until Jan 6th. The nut and the doc are the last things you do at surgical associates. So there you have it. Thanks for supporting me.

Emily,
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.  I wish bawling would help.  If it would I wouldn't have needed surgery.  You have to work hard at it.  I could only do it because I knew the surgery was just around the corner.  Its still hard.  Sometimes I catch myself resenting people that can eat.  Just EAT whatever they want.  I've been on liquids for soooo long.  I feel like a fish!  So, after surgery it doesn't get much easier.  Well, after surgery you won't feel hungry.  But I'm realizing that me wanting to eat isn't me being hungry, its my food addiction.  I'm convinced that if your head isn't in this no surgery in the world will work.  And the first person that says to me, "well, you are losing weight because you took the easy way out and had surgery."  I promise I will PUNCH THEM OUT!  This is not easy.  Losing weight is never easy.  I do hope that it gets easier after I can start exercising.  Please don't get me wrong.  I'm thankful for the opportunity I've been given.  I just want you to know that this isn't easy.  Don't beat yourself up.  Make a plan and stick to it.  I used thedailyplate.com for my pre-surgery diet.  I logged in everything I put in my mouth.  Maybe that will work for you.  You just have to wrap your head around it and find what works for you.
I hope I helped!
Hugs
Kim

Kim, I know it is not going to be easy. I am ready for it. I have just been bored and that is being completely honest. I eat out of boredom. I have got to quit it. I will start drinking a glass of water instead of stuffing something in my mouth. I will do this for me and because I know I have to have this surgery to save my life. Please keep me in your prayers to have the strength and the will power to push through this hard time. I am praying for you. I know liquids are tough to deal with and it is no easy road ahead. I ampraying for strength and courage.

Emily, I second everyone else.  Don't beat yourself up.  That is just the kind of response that got us all in this place because it just becomes a vicious cycle. It is a useless waste of energy.
When I was pre-op, I found that using protein shakes or protein supplements really helped curb the hunger and I was able to stay on a diet and lose the weight I needed to lose for surgery.  It made a big difference.  You can now get the protein bullets (liquid) from Wal Mart and also from GNC. Some people don't like them, but I found that by adding a little of that to a crystal light drink, it really helped me to stay on track.  I wish you the best!
Camille