I told my mother-in-law about my surgery. Question?

I called my mother-in-law yesteday morning to inform her about my surgery and it all went good.  I didn't release much information on the type of my surgery.  I just informed her this was a personal decision that I had to make for myself and my family and I needed them to watch our children Tuesday -Thursday and than they could bring them home Thursday afternoon when DH and I got home.  I told her I had 100% faith with my doctors and the hospital I was having it done at and I would prefer not to inform anyone in the family about my decision.  Basically, I don't want her calling everyone on the phone and telling them about it.  I hate the gossiping about me to the rest of the family.  She had a few minor questions but I told her my mind was made up and this is what I was doing.  Honestly, I am very surprised on how easy it went.  I am sure when we see them this evening that more questions will come up but I will nip those in the bud too.  I don't want to discuss it with her, it's my decision and that's the way it is..   Hope it didn't sound to harsh but this is for me and no one else.

Now I have another dilema.. LOL.. As usual....  DH doesn't know if he will be home in time to drive me to Edmond in time for my surgery.  Do I just go by myself and wait for him to pick me up?  Do I need someone sitting in the wating room for me?  I hate to ask my friend to go on Christmas Eve with me and switch out until my husband gets there.  They have 2 small children and I would hate to interfere with their plans.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance
Sheila

4 days till surgery...Woohoo...

Sheila:

Glad the conversation with your MIL went better than you expected.  Keep the mindset that you have and things will work out.  YOU are in charge of your life so I think if you keep that in mind and be graceful about it, she will be okay. 

As far as the 2nd issue, the only problem that I see is that you will have two vehicles in Edmond.  I have seen some patients be pain free enough to drive home (although it is NOT recommended) as long as you aren't on a load of meds and tandem drive you could possibly pull it off.  Depends on the weather too I would think - who knows what this week in Oklahoma will hold!

Keep up the great work - its almost here!!!

Ruth

Hi, Sheila.
Glad it went well with your mother-in-law. You can drive yourself, for sure. However, who will get that car home after surgery? (Unless someone drops off your husband).
While you don't need someone in the pre-op holding room, I would think you'd want someone there. I wasn't nervous at all, but I still wanted my husband with me until it was time to be wheeled into the OR.
However, if waiting for him means you could jeopardize getting to the hospital in time for surgery, I'd go ahead and go myself.
I wonder if there's someone, perhaps who lives in Edmond, who would be willing to be with you until your husband can get there. What would you say about that, Sheila? It wouldn't be me, because I live in Kansas, but I bet there would be someone on this forum willing.
It will work out.  
Blessings,
Mary

Sheila,

I don't think you sounded harsh.  I think you gave a reasonable explanation on releasing just enough information that was necessary for you to feel comfortable.  I'm sure that something, somewhere will leak out to the rest of the family, and when it does...just stick to your guns and tell them what you feel cmfortable in telling.  this is your struggle, your life, your decision. 

As for people waiting....well I had my OH family there with Ruth beside me every step of the way and Rita when she was on shift....so I was never actually alone...but I'm not sure what the protocol really is, but of he's late, then he's late and surely that won't delay your surgery.  As for the trip home...I was able to drive back to Tulsa with no problems at all....

I'm very excited for you, as I'm sure, the rest of the group is too!  I've already put in my prayer requests to my prayer chain for your special day.

T.

Sheila:

What time is your pre-op check in?  We may be able to do the intervention thing amongst the group - I don't have to be at work on the west side of town until 10:30 am - so I could meet you and get you comfortably ensconced in one of Amy's beds and probably into surgery before I go to work.  After that we'll have to see if the group can get you covered until hubby can make it down.  And if I need to help you get the 2nd car back to your house - well - I'm off until Sunday - so...there!! 

Hey gang - is there anyone with Wednesday off that can take over for me at the hospital until Mr P gets there?

Oops - IF this is something you can live with... don't want to intrude - but don't want you to be alone either. I did it for Thomas - of course there was good entertainment value in his hospital stay too......I wish I had taken more pictures darnit!!  

Ruth

I think when I told my parents pre surgery, I said something very direct like "I am asking you to please not tell anyone until I tell you it's OK, because I don't want people to know until afterward"

I'm with the other's -having 2 cars in Edmond is going to be tough.  I went alone to surgery (I was in Mexico) but I've had other surgeries and done it both ways-with people and without people.  I can't speak to which was "better" before hand because each was different and every person will vary as to how much comfort they get from a companion.  So that is something you will need to decide, but often I just give my #1 person's cell phone number to the surgeon to call.  I know they love me and are praying for me and whether they are in the waiting room or doing something else makes no real difference, so maybe your friend could just drop you off.

I know the thing about the situation that would drive ME the craziest was not knowing if DH could get home in time, so I'd for sure have plan B ready to go. 

Okay, you all are way to nice for me..  I personally wouldn't mind the 2 cars in Edmond, that will work itself out.  And personally I have complete faith in myself to be able to drive back to Tulsa.  DH and I have ear pieces so we talk on the phone while driving anyway.  We sing, humm together.  He is always in my ear 24/7..LOL..  He even breaths hard...LOL..

I don't know what time check in is yet until Amy calls me on Monday.  DH will have to run Tuesday night and into the wee hours of Wednesday morning.  He is off Wednesday and will go in late Thursday evening.  (he is a truck driver for Walmart).

I don't know if I will be as funny or entertaining as Thomas but I could give it a try.  I don't think anyone is interfering, I put the post out there and I am always a talker and that's how things get resolved.

I just hate to ask my GF to leave all of her plans, 2 kids to drive me 2 hours away for a surgery.  I know she wouldn't mind as she has a aunt in Edmond she is very close too.  But I feel selfish for asking that of her.

So now I am leaning toward 2 cars in Edmond, I just want to get checked in, prep for surgery and DH can spend the night and get some sleep himself.

Ruth, that would be very early for you to meet me and than have to be at work.  I might be butting into your beauty sleep.  LOL..

I love the suggestions thanks so much..   DH is a sleep right now but should be up in a few hours. Thanks so much for chiming in, I really appreciate it.

Sheila

Another quickie thought.. If I end up with 2 cars in Edmond, I might as well come up Tuesday and spend the night.  That way I am not hurrying and worryiing about the 2 hour drive Wednesday morning..  I will be at WW bright and early...

Just thoughts and pondering..

Thanks for listening,
Sheila

Then I'm going to put this out there too-If you end up with two cars in Edmond, it might be cheaper just to haul back the second car if hubby has a truck that can pull a car.  The car hauler things at Uhaul are not that bad, although they kind of stick you on the one way rate.

Also, if you can catch a ride into the city (Edmond or OKC) on Tuesday with someone, I'll pick you up Wednesday morning and drive you into WW and sit with you-no problemo-then you won't have the two car issue at all.