Me being nosy!

Ok I have seen seceral posts around OH and such where the people are seemingly very secretive about what they are doing and I was wondering what everyones personal choice was Were you open about it? 
Did you tell no one before but told them afterward?
Have you kept it to yourself period?


Me I have shouted it from the roof tops and am finding it interesting the reactions I have gotten but mostly I have so far meet with more curiosity out there than anything. I will admit to answering alot of questions both before and so far, What I am unsure of I tell them hey everyday I learn something new about my new tummy.

I have been very open about having surgery. Only one coworker was initially negative but finally admitted she was jealous and has been supportive ever since. Some friends and family ask questions and others say nothing, but I have a blog and they do read it.

Hello to all of those I met tonight at WW.  I'll quit being a "lurker" and respond to this question since I've struggled with that issue. 

I only told a few people before and a few others after.  It is obvious to those who have been around me that I've done something drastic in the last 8 months so I get a lot of questions now.  I don't mind talking about it with other people who have struggled with their weight but I think people who haven't been down that road don't get it and are judgemental.  Mostly I was just anxious to be "normal" again around other people and not have everyone watching what I eat and how I act.





 

My original plan was to keep it on a "need to know" basis.  My youngest child goes to a small private school.  I told his teacher and a couple of other people there in advance because I was concerned my son might say something about "surgery" or be more worried than he let on.  Well, I guess these women didn't keep the news to themselves because it seems everybody there knows.  It's fine because they've been a good source of support and all very positive about it (at least to my face).

I'm only 3 weeks out so I'll still have lots of decisions to make regarding who to tell, but this is my revised plan.....I will share it with people (if an appropriate time comes up) if they are someone I would have discussed weight with previously.  I've got my Bunco group next week.  These women are a prime example.  I may or may not tell them at this month's party (depending on if they notice I've lost weight), but I'm sure it will become obvious soon.  I don't really expect every person I know to believe I just suddenly adopted a healthy lifestyle and dropped 100 lbs. on my own!  If they feel comfortable enough with me to come right out and ask me - I'll be honest.  If they don't feel right about asking......well then they probably shouldn't.

Next month I'll probably have yet another "plan" of how to deal with questions.  LOL!

Teri

I am one keeping it under wrap...  I only have a handful of people that know who are very close to me.. Except, I am not telling the Grandparents.  I may have to tell them before my Christmas Eve date or come up with another story.  My reason for not telling the inlaw's are they have watched me lose 150 pds on my own, they know I can do it.. But keeping it off is a whole other story.  I feel my mother in law is the best in the world but also judge mental on mine and hubby's weight.  If we say anything before hand, than we may have to deal with negative comments and I am not ready to hear them.  I only need 100% positive support in my life, and if you can not give me that than I can not share my journey with you.  Now, it will be hard to keep it away from the inlaws as we see them 2+ times a week or two.  And they are my main source for watching the twins.  They will notice I have lost weight, will they believe I have a new dedication in the gym?  I don't know we will just play it bye ear.

I have only told 2 girlfriends of mine, just because I needed help with the kids during this process.  I have told my brother and hubby and that's it.

I have been through a major journey like this before not with weight but something dear and personal with me and hubby.  And you get so many questions and that's all people want to talk about.  Everytime they see you they want to know more and more.  And how everything worked and it just gets old.  So I get tired of shouting it from the roof tops and explaining to everyone the process.  I am just going to lose weight and if anyone asks I have gotten myself healthier.  I am a SAHM so I don't have co-workers anymore, my children will start pre-k next year, they go to Headstart now.  The only people that will notice will be someone in the store that I haven't seen in years.  I just got healthier is my answer.

This should be a interesting thread to read because it is a struggle with me but it's my life and it's how I am going to deal with it..  It's my personal decision and hubby can chime in when appropriate..LOL..

Sheila

No secret here!!!! I let the world know, my opinion is they can accept or not that is their choice and if they choose not to support me then they never cared about me to begin with and I can sever that tie that isnt really there.

Last night we had our Church Christmas Party and we had a guest speaker there. He talked to us about people who say things and dont really mean them and their actions show that. As in a friend buys you a soda out of the machine you say thanks... do you really mean it? Next day, you go to break again u pull out a dollar buy yourself a soda and stand to the side to let your friend buy herself a soda.  If you really meant the thank you the day before you would have shown it with actions of doing the same favor in return. 

How does this compare?  Its a fine example of how "Actions speak louder then words". A friend would bend over backwards for you, so when you say so and so is a good friend of mine, ask yourself, would they bend over backwards if I needed it? If the answer is no, do we really care what they think about us and our wonderful new tool?

I used to  let the world judge me and let it bother me, the only thing that did was tear me down and made me feel so  little about myself. I was engaged to get married and 2 weeks before my wedding my fiance got cold feet had a  nervous break down and ran. The pain and suffering was enough to warrant me not to want to go on. And I got so low in life that after about 6 months something popped inside of me and I said NO more, so I took the next 12 months, evaluating life and finding myself. I didnt do this just for me but for mu children as well. I didnt date anyone during this time.  That 12 months was good for me, it made me the strong person I am today! Before I think I would have been one to keep the surgery a secret to keep from all the whispering etc. but now I know my self worth and if I hear the whispering I know that they wasnt the person they acted to be toward me and I shrug if off. I wont say it doesnt tick me off cause I would then be lying. It does hurt but at least I know that they are fake and I know that I cant trust them with their word. 

Anyways, be who you are, dont let others make you want to hide your choices in life from them. God gave us hope and he gave us the chance at a new life, enjoy it, celebrate it and let the world know that you are the healthy person you are because of it!

My response is very similar to Sheila's.  I have struggled with weight my ENTIRE LIFE.  People have watched me diet, loose, gain and on and on.  I only told my immediate family, my hubby, kids, my sisters and brother.  Maybe I was afraid I wouldn't succeed at this either, who knows.  I didn't tell anyone on the in-law side except one sister in law who had RNY 3 years earlier and could relate.  I didn't tell my Mom and Mother-in-law.  I just didn't want to hear their comments.  I did share with my boss and then my close co-workers right before surgery since they would have to cover my desk while I was out.  They were all supportive and still are. 

Everyone has a "horror story" of how someone they know of did this and that or gained their weight back , knows of someone who died or whatever.  (I might die in a car accident too) I wasn't interested in hearing all of that.  I had done my homework and research and came to what I considered an educated decision for what I thought was best for me and my life.  I only wanted positive people knowing in the beginning.

Even after loosing 160 pounds I still have not heard ONE COMMENT from the in-law side.....go figure but who cares.  I didn't do this for them.  But, wouldn't you figure after you know someone has lost the weight of a woman you would notice and have to comment????  Oh well....  I still will only talk about it to those who already know or who might ask about what I have done.  I have had several from church compliment me and if they ask what I have done I will gladly share with them but I don't want to be the topic of a conversation.  It's a personal journey for each of us and we will all handle it differently.  I say do what you are comfortable with.  I am absolutely NOT ashamed of how I lost my weight...it was NOT the easy way out!!  It is simply a tool and I still have to do my part from here on in order for it to be a success.  It was by far the best decision I have made for myself and would do it again in a minute!

No secret here, I let lots of people know at work as well as my close family and church members.

That way I got the support I needed and none of the questions afterwords about what I did to loose so drastricly.

Luckily, no negative comments to me.

I kept it pretty close to the vest prior to the surgery, telling only my wife, my kids, my parents, and my boss.  Once I returned to work after the surgery I let the word out.  I kept it close initially because I didn't want to deal with people who were going to try to discourage me and didn't want to cause needless concern.  Once I got back to work, I knew that if I didn't put the word out people would understandably be concerned about my rapid weight loss.

I only told my parent's before, and asked them not to tell until I was back from surgery-I had mine done in Tijuana.  I just didn't want to listen to people's comments before-it's easier to present something as already done than to listen to people who want to "intervene".

Of course, after I returned my Mom told everybody in the entire universe, so it kind of became a big deal for a little while.  Literally, the first day a****er aerobics, walking down the steps, feeling awkward in my bathing suit, etc, my Mom's voice boomed out "that's my daughter-the one that just had the lap band" and the entire class looked at me and pretty much continued to look at me for 6 months....LOL, so I just got over it pretty quickly.  Discussing your weight while in a bathing suit with a room full of strangers just takes it to a whole new level....