Ever feel like a freak?

Ok this might sound dumb, but sometimes I feel like a freakish sideshow.  I live in Garber if you don't know where that is it is about 15 miles East of Enid, it is very small about 800 people it's one of those towns where you know everybody and everybody knows your business.   My son has had a few basketball games over the past 2 weeks .  Several people have talked to me about my weight loss, and asked me how I did it, and I was honest and told them that I had WLS, but mostly I notice people staring at me, and when they stare it makes me uneasy, I just want to scream QUIT STARING AT ME!!!  I know that I look alot different, but I am still the same person. Does anybody else have things like that happen to them?   Lisa  

Lisa,

Just to let you know...you're not alone...  BUT...  As for me, I'm not completely comfortable in my new body....  I like it, don't get me wrong...  but in certain places, I'm realy bony...and I'm continuing to shrink at a pretty fast rate.  I took some pics last month only to find that I can't wear those clothes even though I'm eating like a horse and I've stopped working out just to stop losing some of the weight.

Some people can't understand why I would want to stop losing the weight, but I can count every rib....I have no padding left on my tush...I eat extremely healthy food....in fact tons of raw foods...like veggies, fruits, awesome meats and fresh fish...so I'm not suffering......and nobody recognizes me.  I don't even look like me in the mirror....so when most people who have had wls can't see the changes in themselves, i see massive changes.  I'm in my 160's and i came from 300 pounds in like 4 months...15 pounds just last month! ...it's insane...

BUT....I'm completely blessed  I've got no extra or loose skin, I can move in ways that mystify the inner yoga guru, and I'm a wilcat for adventure and stuff I can get myself into trouble over....(that hasn't changed from the old me).  I'm trying to resist some of my old ways however....  so many social events and parties and my friends always invite me to these fun things and then I'm heavily restricted (for good reason) to maybe a glass of wine.... (even though I want all of the fun rum concoctions...hehehehe).  Anyway...you're not a freak....maybe you're being hard on yourself...I know that I am.....  and if people know and they're staring at you maybe it's becasue they want to know all of the things that WLS can do but are afraid to ask you because others may judge them.....

So hey, you've got this one life to live....so I have chosen to live every single day with appreciation and zeal.  I'm not letting one minute pass me by without my sense of adventure fully intact.  When I die, no one can say that I didn't live the life I wanted to live.....WLS was one of those choices for me that I wanted to treat as part of that adventure....what will they say about you when you die?

Fly your freak flag proudly girl....fly it proudly....

T.

Thomas, I gotta luv ya, you make me laugh. About a month ago my husband and I were having dinner with some high school classmates and one of them who is overweight herself asked me how I was losing the weight, and I simply told her wls, her reply to me was that wls was CHEATING.  It caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say.  You are right I only have one life to live and wls is nothing i need to be ashamed of I need to live it healthy and to the fullest every day and if wls is helping me to do that then so be it.  I wish that I would have been able to tell her that when she put me down.  Thanks for the encouragement and I will fly my freak flag proudly.  Lisa

The thing is with such a drastic change people are bound to look and possibly be quite jealous....I tend to stare too at people who I have seen changes in! I know people who see me now stare and try to figure out who I am!! I would love it if it were in the positive catagory, but they can't believe I am so heavy....Enjoy the stares I'm sure it is all in a positive light! When I lose my weight and people stare....I will probably feel the same way as you so I can give out goofy advice like this!

Lisa, do you know any Kuhlmans there in Garber? David and Jana Sue are the ones I'm looking for...I have lost contact with Jana over the years. We went to Minco HS together. I would love to find her again.

Sherry

Sherry, I do know David and Jana, they were members of the church I used to attend when their kids were little, and at one time Jana was the head cook at the school. I do know that they are divorced, and the last I knew which was several years ago Jana moved to be with her mother and help take care of her.  Hopefully you will be on the losers bench soon.  Lisa

LET'EM stare!!!!! At first it kinda bothered me too but then I reminded myself they arent staring because of the weight i used to have when they stare at us and say things like "My Gosh look at the weight she has put on" or "I cant believe she let herself get that big".  Now its a jealous thing, they have flaws that CANT be fix and honey we just fixed ours!

Lisa,

I haven't had my surgery yet, but five years ago I was 420 lbs.  Talk about stares....I wasn't comfortable in any situation.  In 2001, I started to weigh****chers and over the next 10 months lost 100 lbs, then 110 more for a total of 210 lbs.  Then all of a sudden all of those people who weren't my friends decided they wanted to be my friends, and when I would go back to my hometown (200 residents...you think they know it all with 800...try being from a 200 pop. town!)  LOL.....people were horrible about staring and pointing me out.  I have always and still hate to be the center of attention...that would happen every time.  I don't go back to my hometown more than once a year, but I'm sure they talk now about how much I've gained back.  I can't wait until next July 4th, when hopefully, Good Lord willing, I will be smaller than before! 

I'm with Thomas...enjoy the new you.  Do the things you want to do and to heck with everyone else and their opinion.  I like to tell myself they're just jealous.  LOL  I loved it when all those guys that I at one time had crushes on would look at me.....I would have loved for one of them to ask me out....just so I could turn him down!  LOL  That's probably why they didn't.   LOL

Enjoy your new body!

Hugs,
Marsha

I know that people like to watch what I'm eating and that kind of bothers me.  I mean, back off!  It's kinda like being a science experiment to some people.

But Thomas is right!  Fly your "freak" flag proudly and show how proud you are for making the decision to better yourself.  They're probably just staring at you because you look so great now!

I totally agree that it gets really old but I'd rather be stared at for looking better than to be stared at for "oh my gosh she's huge"!!  We've made a lifetime decision to make a change and naturally people are going to look and wonder.  If people ask I always share but if they don't...let em stare is what I say!!!  Great job!!!  You're working your tiny tummy. 

I had a similar experience when I worked in a very nosy office and went on Medifast.  I lost 75 pounds and people who didn't know me were asking questions about my weight-like how much I weighed when I started, how much I weighed now......I had to eat in seperate room, because eating in the main break room would just spur a zillion questions when all I wanted to do was sip my shake and go back to work.

Some of the things said were less than kind-"I'm going to laugh when you gain it all back...." was one that stands out.  One day I snapped-I was in the main room fixing a shake (it was a hectic day, I didn't have time to hide) and a girl was tucking into a plate of greasy ribs and said at the top of her voice (so everyone could hear) "Well, I like to eat-you're an idiot to do that" and I just kept on mixing and said equally loud "well, that's why you look like you do"......and you could have heard a pin drop.....but the comments stopped (this girl was a repeat offender) after that, and next time I went in to mix a shake I took control and said "look, I just want to make my lunch, not conduct a seminar"....

So-the big lesson from that one is that you don't have to explain everything you do to everyone who asks.  If someone really is interested in the lap band, I'll suggest we talk privately.

After the horror of the medifast experience I announced to family and friends that I would update them on my weight when I had something to say and when I felt like talking about it.  (This after several weeks of walking in to a "how much did you lose" instead of a "hello how are you?"  People don't mean to-but suddenly the weight you are losing becomes almost more important that you-and that does make you feel weird, doesn't it?

If you can, make eye contact and smile-and don't break eye contact till they do.  That is an old, primal way of saying back off that people who don't even study animal behavior will understand and works far better than raising your voice.  (The smile and the stare are mixed messages and it just makes people uncomfortable enough that they will stop what they are doing-but don't do this to strangers).