Having a terrible day.....

Rita,

i'm not gonna be like most of the others here....  I'm gonna tell you to be tough.  i've lost a parent as well and I know your pain.  Deep down, there's something that you know is true.....  you mother would never approve of you being sad during the holidays on her behalf.

She would probably be pretty argumentative with you if she could.  I still have bad days myself, and then I think about how my father would think of me feeling bad because he's not here....he wouldn't feel sad on my account, he'd tell me to "pull myself up by the bootstraps" and put a smile on my face and endure and face life with the best day you can have knowing the spirit of love ones lost are with you during good days and bad.

I love ya...  you can rant and rave to me anytime....

T.

I havent lost my mother so i cant relate to the pain that you are going though. But I can tell you that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. I needed each and every one of them today. God bless, and thanks again. Rita

Hi Rita - I hope everyone's beautiful words have comforted you some by now.

I think you probably know this, but, in my experience, only time makes things better and not because you forget, but because you become at peace with yourself and the knowledge that life does move on eventually sinks in - your loss will still be the same enormous loss, but it it just becomes part of your life.

I lost both my parents within two years of each other, and I went through a series of emotions, the worst one was the knowledge that I had lost my rock, my safe haven, the foundation of everything I am. I felt very alone, and the two people who loved me more than anything else in the whole world were gone! Today things are more evened out, I got used to not having them to talk to, especially my Mom (so occasionally I talk to her - in Italian no less!!). I know they are watching over me, and that keeps them close to me.

There are still days that I think I would do anything to just see my Mom one more time, there are days that I am angry because I still can't understand why she had to go at the age of 62, I still miss her terribly and that void has never gone away, and quite frankly, I don't think it ever goes away.

I know you will miss her very much during the holidays especially...yes it will get better, just give it time.  Big HUGS.....Anna

I don't know what to say besides "I'm sorry."  God bless you.

Rita,

I am so sorry that you're going through these emotions right now.  My mother is still living, but my father passed away a year and a half ago.  I made it through the days following his death and through the funeral in shock. He was 94, but I wasn't ready to lose him.  I still have bad days, and probably always will.  The pain becomes more tolerable, but it won't ever go away, I am convinced.   I feel bad for you and have you in my prayers.

Hugs,
Marsha

Well, today is a better day, but then I am at work. Everyone, have a great day. Rita

Rita - your sorrow is a testament to what a lovely lady your mother must have been.  I haven't lost a mother but I did lose my dad 7 years ago and it's still painful.  But it's not the searing kind of pain it used to be.  Now I think back on him with love and laughter and lots of longing.  I wish I could have one more conversation with him.  I miss him every day.  What a man he was!  I was blessed to have known him. 

Take heart!  Time is the only healer and you will always miss her but some day you will only remember the good stuff and none of the bad.

Please know that we all care and are hoping for peace for you!  Kim

As Kim said, we lost our Dad 7 years ago this month.  At this point time is your best friend.  The pain will lessen as you get farther out.  The longing to talk to your mom will never go away but it will become bearable.  At this point my sorrow has been replaced by happy memories and warm feelings. Like Anna I talk to my dad sometimes- well not the Italian part!

Be kind to yourself as you get through this first holiday season.  It gets easier from here on out.

Rita,
I can imagine that your loss feels even more during the holidays.  I miss my grandmother terribly.  She's still alive but she doesn't know me some days.  I miss her really bad right now, because I'm facing surgery and she won't be there.  I have never done anything this major without her by me.  I will be praying for you and I hope you can find some comfort during the holidays.  Like Cowboy said she would want you to be happy.  You have a brand new bod!  Live, Love and Laugh!
Hugs to you!
Kim