OT "Hold my beer and watch this..."

Nothing good can come from those words....  you know the impending doom once you hear them....

So I'm at a halloween party and  it's being held at one of those multi million dollar swanky joints of a friend of mine who inherited his cash....I'm not jealous and he's a good person, so I honestly only want good things for him and his clan of peeps....so anyway...back to the story....

I see this girl, who is the bride of Frankenstein, crying on the balcony....I can see the stress on her face from the reflection of the bright moonlight casting glitter from the tears strolling down her cheeks....  I ask her "what's up?"  She points her finger at "frankenstein" who is being belligerant with one of her friends...just then,  she said those magic words that makes men angry...... "he hit me".   Well I heard those words, and I told her to "hold my beer and watch this"....  yes....tis true....I had "a" beer.... and I liked the buzz I had.... and yes, my button had been pushed.....  I went over to confront this Goliath of a man and asked him if he was in such a mood to strike a woman then maybe he had it in him to want to fight someone his own size....

THEN came the problem.....um...yea and stuff....   you see....  I'm only 175 pounds.....  not the 300+ pound man that I was when I met most of you met 4 months ago....and I was buzzed and forgot I wasn't as nearly big as he was... I had called him out for being a "C-word" and hitting a girl....  luck was on my side however....

He takes a swing at me first and misses (which now I'm LEGALLY defending myself), since he swung so hard he spun himself around, I simply kicked him as he was going down and he laid there not able to do much with the breath knocked outta him...As he is laying there, I slapped his face and called him "my b-word"......so I was proud to have defended this girl's honor....and then...dammit...  I get hit by a chair from one of his friends from behind and then my buddies start to wail on him....  a cop "who is one of those buddies" stops the fight, takes his raido and calls the meat wagon taking the Goliath Frankenstein and his buddy to the St Thomas jail....   for my trouble, I get a kiss on the cheek,  bruise on my backside, and a girl who won't stop calling me even though I'm not interested in being "that kinda friend".....

Moral of the story....  try not to use "catch phrases" after you've consumed one beer and you've had WLS....  you're not that big of a person anymore, but you can still make the difference in another person's life by doing the right thing.....  I might be small, but I'm powerful.....wink, wink...

T.

The same thing happens when women say....."Here, hold my errings". Nothing can come from it but a cat fight....The difference is, no one would call the cops, as all men love to watch a cat fight!
 I am a detail person and you failed to tell us what you went dressed up as.....So I am taking it that you went dressed up as, Mr.T, The Great Crime Fighter!! Or was it a Knight in Shining Armor? At least you didn't end up wearing black and white stripes...
Sher

I have so much I could say after reading this little story.....however, here it is:

ONE BEER???   You lightweight!!!  Get some huevos sweet man!! 

Kidding...its crazy how much alcohol affects a WLS patient...and how it doesn't affect others (not to be named) at all! 

I applaud your heroic act, but hopefully you have learned a great lesson!!  You are NOT the behemoth you once were darlin!!  Calculate a little better next time and use WORDS instead of body to resolve issues!  (I'm laughing on the inside!)

Truly, be careful babe!!  I thought of you the other day while I was taking care of a customer in the VI.  (sigh) Oh to be on the beautiful tropical isle.....  later...

Awwww...thats our Cowboy!!  Wow, 175 already!!  That is so amazing!!  Way to go!!

Good for You!!  I'm glad it worked out alright.

Kenny Chesney needs to do that song-it would be a hit!

I keep thinking "Hold my beer and watch this" to the tune of "take this job and shove it" and that just doesn't do it for me-but now it's stuck in my head.  As soon as I read those words I remembered the last time I said them-long time ago.  I didn't hit anyone but I did end up dancing on a rooftop, sliding off said roof top onto a fellows head who then wouldn't put me down and ran around saying "Look deb's on my head (I was smaller then****il he ran right into the cop who came to break up the festivities.  I stepped off my mount and told the officer "See, everything is just fine, no harm no foul-want a beer" and he laughed and said "then why are you bleeding?"  (seems sliding down a tar roof in shorts is hard on the knees)

 

Disclaimer; (I wasn't the only one up on that roof that night (as if that makes a difference). 

Hi, Tom.
Bless your heart. I was gasping through the entire story. I'm so glad you didn't get your clock cleaned! Boy, do I love a guy who would go to a woman's defense!
Blessings,
Mary

You silly silly man!!!!  Even though you are our little package of dinomate in a smaller body now you gotta be careful!!!!!!


Tell the new "friend" that you have a multiple girlfriends in oklahoma and cant afford another one... lol

What a story.  This is my first time to write so I'm not sure who I am talking to.  You've lost 125 pounds in 4 months!  I'm so impressed.  How did you do it?  I'm just hoping for surgery right now working on insurance.

I saw your photos but you should post the inside of your home.  I've been to the Virgin Islands and it is beautiful there in fact going there in February again. I have family there and boy do I envy them sometimes except when the storms arrives.

Way to go dude.  Nothing ****** me off more that a guy hitting a woman.  What a puss!  Next time take a bat or a 2 x 4.  These guys need a bat taken to both hands so they won't be able to do that again.  Michael