Heads up on whats going on with me.

I still have the tenderness in the lower left extremities of my stomach.  most likely seems to be a condition called diverticulosis of the colon.  I am scheduled for a colonoscopy on Firday, November 7th.  Will keep everyone posted once I get results of this.

The girl I went walking with sorta "got busy" on me and I have not spoken to her in ALMOST two weeks now.  No big deal I wasnt expecting too much out of it so no harm no foul.

I ran into a girl I dated 15 years ago and we had broken up due to some bad issues that were out of both of our control all those years ago.  She commented about how great I was looking (she dated me back when I was 220 pounds) and said she still thought about me all the time and in a way still had feelings for me.  We went out last weekend and she stayed the night with me last night and we went to dinner and watched movies and got reaquanted (get your heads out of the gutter girls!!!)

The only problem (not that it really is a problem in my mind, is she has been married and has two little girls and due to a really messed up deal her ex-fiancee left her 4 months ago when he found out she was pregnant.  So yeah she is fixing to have #3.  She calls me 2-3 times a day and I am a good judge of someone's feelings and emotions.  She isnt just looking for a baby daddy cause her ex-husband is still very much in her daughter's life (he has them EVERY weekend and only lives like 10 miles from her).  She has a good paying job at a nursing home and has her own car so she isnt a slacker either.

My only concern is what my family (you all inclused) will think.  I have done a lot of thinking about this and you know what?  I am fixing to turn 35.  I am sick of the search and I do want a family.  This gals feelings are true or I would have never even thought about getting back with her.  Am I an idiot for doing this?  I don't think I am but then again I am on the inside looking out and want the perspective of those of you on the outside looking in.  She makes me very happy (she did YEARS ago too).  Suggestions please without ripping me a new one.  If you want to rip me a new one at least do it privately.  Thanks and I love ya all.

Dan,first off forget what anyone else will think. None of that really matters. It is what is in your heart and hers that matters. Now, you know that I am anti marriage so I'm not a good one to be giving advice, but then again maybe I am. LOL. The most important thing is to not rush into anything. Take one day at a time. You just got re-aquainted so just take your time. There is no reason to hurry or make quick decisions. Alot has changed in the 15 years you have been apart. And most importantly live by my motto "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY WHEN YOU ARE ONLY THERE OPTION"

Now, I'm not saying you are only her option, what I am saying is enjoy each day that you have and aways keep your eyes open. You will always know and be able to tell if you are someones priority. Don't settle for anything less. I wish you the best of luck and remember to just take one day at a time. Heck, there are times that one second at a time is need. Love ya like I used to love cake.

Rita

dudeness, it's about being happy, it's not about worrying about what other people will react to it.  If those people "really" care about you, then they only care about you being happy and putting your life together with someone who loves and cares for you. 

Life is too short to worry about the little things.... push forward with whatever you've wanted in your life and make certain those are the thngs that really motivate you towards reaching those dreams.  My job as your friend is to support Dan in whatever makes Dan happy.....

I hope things keep going your way!

T.

I second these opinions, Dan. All we want is for you to be happy. Just don't be in such a hurry to be "in love." Slow down and look at things in a new perspective. I understand being tired of things. I was tired of dating too. When I met DH I wasn't even looking.

Please don't settle if she isn't everything you want. She does come with some baggage and drama, but if you really do love her and aren't settling, then I'd say full steam ahead. We all have shoulda coulda woulda moments, me included.

Good luck on your health and this relationship.

I think (since you asked) that you should continue to get to re-know each other aftar all those years.  You've both changed and it will be fun to see how those changes match u*****t.  I love running into old friends.

 

I also think that she's pregnant and not in complete control of her OWN emotions and you have just gone through a major life change and not in complete control of YOUR own emotions, and if either of you making long term plans on such short term visit is not a good idea.

You can be there for her and I think you should if you like her.  See how it goes.  Pushing for more than that right now isn't fair to anyone.

So, that's what I think.  But what I'll DO is support you in any decision you make which, while that might make you feel better, isn't going to help a you a lot in actual fact cause I don't cook or do diapers.....but I do make a good cheer leader! 

 

That is very sound advice, Deb.

Hey Dan~  You and I already had a discussion over this one...  I told you that if you care about her, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  Do what makes you happy.  Love and hugs to you!

Go slow, take your time.  There is no prize awarded for speed dating followed by marriage (unless a bill from adivorce lawyer is a prize.) 

If you guys make each other happy- spend time together.  She is obivously just out of a serious relationship since she is still pregnant with that guy's child.  Be wary of being someone's rebound person.  People on the rebound often do not make good decisions and add to that the pregnancy hormones- you get my drift.

Now, you guys may be perfect for one another.  If you are perfect for one another you will still be perfect for one another in a year.  Remember also that if you marry you are also "marrying" the father of her children too.  They come as a package deal.  Are you prepared to have a permanent relationship with those guys too?  And, her children are part of the package.

I guess my best advise is to go slow.  Let things develop on their own time table.  Don't rush things.  What is the old saying?  Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

I agree with Happycat's reply...take it slowwww. The emotions from being pregnant are wild enuff. Let things develop slowly.

LaDetra

Dang! here I thought you were like 20 something!

Since I am the blunt one of the group...
Dont rush into this...you are looking for love and love cant be searched for...it just happens. So take your time enjoy getting to know her as a woman and a mother.