telling my girls

Ok --- most of you know I am just beginning my journey.  Lab work and other consults next week.  However, I have been thinking about my girls.  By the way -- I have 3 beautiful daughters - 8,5, and 2.   One of the many reasons I am changing my life is for them.  So --- do I tell them about the surgery?  Explain to them the reasons?  How would you all handle this??? 

***On a different subject --- how about those COWBOYS, 5-0 (we will need lots of strength for Missouri though)  I was tailgating at the game and sitting in the stadium on those tiny little bleachers thinking, how great next year will be with a thinner rear-end!!! LOL

Hi.
With the young ages of your children, I don't think it's necessary to tell them. However, you know your 8-year-old, and if he/she would be aware that you are at the hospital, he/she might worry if he/she doesn't know why.
If you decide to tell your 8-year-old, I'd keep it positive. Be excited about how life will change for you, how you'll lose weight, how you'll be able to do more things with him/her. Also, consider finding a short video on www.YouTube.com about whichever surgery you're having. I'm pretty sure there's at least one for every type of WLS. Then ask if he/she has any questions, and answer them as best you can. Good luck, in whatever you decide to do.
Blessings,
Mary

I just realized you said "girls" in your post subject line. I'm such a dork! Sorry.

I completely understand what your saying..  I too have 4 yr old twins, but I am not telling them at this point.  My DH just got out of the hospital after a week and it really changed the twins.  They were scared, upset, cried, didn't sleep, and had a hard time at the grandparents.  Seeing what they went through with DH being in the hospital, I am not ready to put that through them again.  However, your 8 yr old is probably old enough to understand than your other two.  So you might share details with her.  But be vague with details unless she wants more information.  And your right, our quality of life is going to change for the better and for our kids.

Congrats on making the decision.

Hugs,

I might suggest that you show your 8 year old the you tube video that Cricket_1 posted yesterday.  The video is her story and includes her grandchildren.  It's awesome and professionally done.  You should look at it first and then decide whether to show your daughter or not.  I think the 8 and 5 year old might be able to understand it.  Good luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeJ-uIonwvE

I would definately discuss it with them. The two year old more than likely will not understand. I would wait until it was almost time for the surgery though. Just present it in a way that Mommy will have more energy to play and do things with them, as well as feel better. I discussed it with my 8 year old grandaugher and she was very supportive. Now they don't even remember me as being Morbidly Obese.

HOW ABOUT THOSE COWBOYS.....WOO HOO.....

I saw another OH member get flamed on another board for asking this question.  I disagree with anyone getting flamed for asking a question.  If they can't feel comfortable to ask a question what the Heck is this board for?

In my opinion I feel that sharing this with your kids is a positive thing.  As you said you are doing this for them as well as yourself.  I don't know that I would go into the risks of complications though.  I think I would keep it light and let them know you are going to be ok. 

As far as telling them about the complications, I won't do that with my little one.  He has enough to worry about.  As a child I remember worrying all the time that something was going to happen to my mom or dad.   I do think writing a letter to them just in case...You will be fine but I am going to write a letter JIC.  That is just me though.  I think its just my need to have the last word if something does go wrong!  

I wish you the very best on your journey!
Kim

I would have to agree with the other gals here....The U-tube would help the 8 yr old...But honestly I had my 8 yr. old Grandaugher and a 5 yr old Grandson here Sunday. After spending the day with them...and they are sharp, i wouldn't go to the trouble...They only really care about the moment. When I had my stent put in my heart the 5 yr old came to see me and wanted to know everything then proceeded to walk around the room on his hands....I think something you might do...is if you have a video camera, maybe put into words the reason for doing this and explain the why's and put it up for them so they can watch it when they become more ready to understand. That's just a thought....They will know you are having something done, but for now...I'd keep it to a "Mommie had to fix her tummy" or something like that.
Good luck!
Sherry

I would tell them something simple like you are going to have surgery to get your tummy fixed and leave it at that.  Putting a lot of info about how you want your life to be better, changing your life for them will somehow make them feel responsible and that isn't what you want.

I would also make sure that they understand it's a decision you made and that you don't have cancer (the universal boogy man) or something like that.

What you are doing is great-and will benefit them and hopefully prevent them from ever needing to have WLS-but like so many Mommy things, it's nothing you need to trouble them with-they are too busy being kids! 

Kids are smart. I didn't talk to much about it with my 4 year old. Just that I was going to be gone for a day or two and that when I would get back my tummy would be sore. I wouldn't be able to play with her or lift her but I'd get better soon and we would then do things like ride bikes and play tag. She's still waiting. She says, "Mommy can we play tag now?" She's also asking why I'm not eating. I just keep telling her that my tummy really hurts and I can't eat just yet or I'll get really sick. I also have made a point of hiding incisions. She's such a trooper!

Your 8 year old should be told. The 2 year old won't have a clue what is going on. Just be positive and answer any questions your 8 year old has.