Obcessing again

Okay, so I'm not officially engaged...but he's dropped several hints that i'm getting a ring for christmas...so let's say...hypotheticly, that we DO get engaged in December...that will put us getting married in spring (We've agreed that we don't want a LONG engagement) right about the same time as my RNY. Okay so we've also decided that we definatly want to have a child....at some point. I'm 25 and have  a son but he want's one of his own and I can understand that so I've agreed but I already know I want to be married for at least a year before I try for baby #2...
so now my dilema is weather to have the RNY in the spring and then wait for a year to try for a baby or if I should just put my RNY off untill i'm totally done having kids...I'm torn. I really would like to loose the weight and THEN get preggers so that I can look like like the pregnant girl insted of the huge walrus woman like last time...but i'm worried about being able to have a healthy baby afterward because of the malabsorbtion thing....I know i've got time...but when i'm bored my mind wonders and i need the opinions of my OH family!

Soldiersxbabygirl has had 2 kids since her RNY.  Look at her blog and most likely she will post an answer for you.  I do know that the surgeons at WeightWise do NOT want their patients to get pregnant for at least 1 or 2 years out.  You sure do need to check with your surgeon.  You wouldn't want to do any plastics on your tummy until after you're finished with having children.

You sound just like me!  I obsess about everything! 
Ultimately you are the only one who can decide whats best for you and your situation.  I know I've been reading and lots of women go on to have very healthy happy babies after WLS.  If you lose weight first it will make conception easier as well as an easier less eventful pregnancy.  Just because you get married doesn't mean you have to have baby #2 right away.  Get used to being married and let your little one adjust to having a man in the house.  You could give yourself time too! 
I was heavy when I got pregnant with my last child and we both almost died.  I got toxemia in the end.  We almost drowned.  It was terrible.  I would never again go into a pregnancy with so much extra weight.  I gained 50 lbs of WATER having him.  I was miserable!  After I had him I weighed less then when I got pregnant.  I was really sick.  That's just my story and something for you to think about.  But you have to be the one to make the WLS decision!  You are only 25 right now!  You will still be of childbearing age in a couple of years if you decide to have surgery.  Or the surgery will still be an option in a couple of years if you decide not to have it now.  I wish I wouldn't have waited as long as I did.  I am no 40!
Best of luck to you!  You'll make the right decision!
Kim

Ok, remember, you asked.  I think RNY, marriage, then baby (even after a year) is wayyyy too much too soon.  There is no real way to prepare for the head changes that any of these events bring, and bringing them on all at once is asking a lot from you, your family and your body.

If I were 25 and I knew what I know know (I'm 47) I would have the RNY, get engaged afterward and for at least 6 months-then get married, then wait a year, then have the baby.

Marriage, baby, weight loss, each changes everything and I don't believe the average person and couple could get through all those changes in such a short time.

Granted, I do suck at relationships, but I'm great at planning, so that is something to consider too...LOL. 

I do agree with Deb.  This WLS does come with a lot of "emotions" and getting to know ourselves and our bodies in way we have never before done.  I'm sure you already know that pregnancy also brings with it many emotions as well...I sure as heck wouldn't through all 3 in the mix in a year.  They are all very WONDERFUL events but each one is a HUGE event and very important event and each deserves it's own special time of adjustment.  (I've had 3 kids and been married 36 years...I was married 6 years before kids and they were the most wonderful years ever because we were able to get to know each other before throwing baby in the mix!!)

Wow, this sounds like a lot of life-changing things at once. If I had to do it again, I would of had my RNY before having children because I missed out on so much because I was overweight. Also, I was married 7 years before I had any children. It was a wonderful time of getting to know each other and doing things that you are unable to do with a newborn. I think your son may also need some time to adjust after a new marriage before also having to adjust to not being the only child.

Resident preggo in the house LoL (only 4 days to go!)...  Ok, so I'm on my 2nd pregnancy since my RNY 4 years ago.  I didn't have kids prior to WLS.  Dr. Warnock blessed my pregnancies, but the man loves kids.  I was at goal weight before I ever got pregnant.  I didn't have any malabsorbtion issues... I have always been careful to have my levels checked constantly to avoid deficiencies.  The only one I've dealt with is iron and that one goes way back pre-WLS (like high school, at least).  I had a healthy baby girl at full term and this one will be delivered at full term on Friday as well.  The thing that is so awesome indeed is that no one thinks I'm fat, I definitely DO look pregnant.  Yes, do have the baby before plastics.  I didn't expect to have another one after Krysten and had my tummy tuck.  Oops!  I think it's going to go back in just fine as I've only gained 6 1/2 lbs with this pregnancy, but I still advise against plastics before you're done having kiddos.  Otherwise, post-op pregnancy has been awesome!

By the way: I was 26 when I had my WLS~ I was a month from 28 when I had Krysten and I'm 30 (almost 31) now and about to have baby number 2 (and last).  I don't think you should hurry to have one based on age, by any means.  You have several good years left.

WLS is a huge emotional roller coaster.  I am pretty stable emotionally but have had some major surprises along the way.  I would do surgery first and then tackle the rest.

Your son is going to need some time to get used to having a man in the picture every day.  Give him some time before adding a new baby to the mix.  Of course you can have a baby post WLS.

I was 250+ pounds when I got pregnant with my son.  I spent the last 8 weeks on bed rest.  I had pre-eclampsia.  I am pretty certain if I had been a normal weight I wouldn't have ended up on bed rest.  I highly recommend you hit goal before you get pregnant.

Great advice! Thanks gals! I knew I could count on yall! No worries i'm not going to do anything without ALOT of careful planning and prepairing...that's just my style. I tend to get ahead of myself from time to time and want it all...right now! but I think your all right. and I'll probably do the WLS, then work on all the rest.