This might sound stupid!

Today I wen't and got my hair cut super short, just like I used to wear it about 5 yrs ago.  Of course I was 44 lbs. heavier at that time.  Anyway as I sat there and watched her cut all of my hair off I started to realize how slender my face, neck, and shoulders are becoming.  After I left the salon and got in the car and looked at myself in the mirror, I started to cry.  Don't get me wrong I love the way I look now begining to be all trim and all, but I felt like that person that I used to be physically was gone, and I don't know why, but I cried about it, physically the way that i used to be is gone forever. I feel like a part of me has died, even though I love the way I look now , I never want to be that fat person again. Did anybody else have these kind of feelings or am I just nuts?

You won't ever have to go back to being the outside person that you were...The inside of you hasn't moved....but it will become more and more enhanced!  I don't know yet....but I would think this is common.....I will probably need lots of help from Dr. Keller myself, because I have never known how to be anyone but someone's fat daughter, a wife to someone who didn't care and 4 little one's mother....It's just me now and time to self discover who I am inside. Maybe it's time for you to learn how to enjoy this much smaller you??
Have you checked hormones??? Everyone says the surgery really changes those too....Not to minimize your emotions...I am being serious. Some one else can confirm what I think I know....You aren't nuts!

This is a wild emotional journey we are on.  For many of us we were defined as the fat woman/man and accepted that role.  As we lose weight we are having to redefine our new roles in life.  You will find your way again but it will take time.

I can imagine how you must feel.  I would love to know it!  But I have lost weight before and felt like my emotions were all over the place.  I would think that you are being normal!  Just sit back and enjoy the new you. 

I think there also comes a time that we hide behind our fat.  If I were rejected by a guy I could always say it was because he couldn't handle me being overweight, now it's because he's just not interested in me.  The good news, there are a lot more guys interested now.   Yes, you do go through a lot emotionally, and you go through it fast because of how quickly you're losing the weight.  Yes, I have had the feelings, yes, you are nuts !!!

I was setting up new computer today and it wanted to take a picture-since I was getting online help I just complied when normally I would have said no way in heck.  I did stick my tongue out in the picture, but I was actually thinking wow, you aren't that scary looking any more.

Its not that the inside has changed. What has changed is the shield that has protected you from years. Now its more will I be accepted as a thinner person. Will people view me as me not the new thin person. Will I blend into a crowd..These feelings come rushing out at you when youleast expect it. I personally can relate to what you went through. My cry party happened late one night when I looked in my bathroom mirror from the doorway. A place that I harly ever stood in because I was to big. I looked and saw a smaller person one that I did not know. I asked who is that person staring back at me? Same eyes same hair but WHO IS THAT THIN person. I then started crying realizing that I am THAT person one that at that time lost a hundred pounds. Who went in and pulled out a pair of jeans and they fit then I really started crying...
The emotional roller coaster never truly ends...it just becomes easier to handle it.
As Bette Davis said "hold on boys we are in for a bumpy ride".....

i htink you are perfectly normal. the emotional roller coaster that we are on seems like a neverending ride but so worth it. my big butt chair at work swallows me now and so does my recliner. i can actually curl up in my recliner and cross my legs at work. i can bend over without busting a gut and that makes me happy and sad at the same time. weird, huh? keep up the good work and hold on for this crazy ride!!

I can relate to the fact that I also like what I see when I look in the mirror. But, I have to admit that one of the reasons I like what I see, is because, as I keep losing this weight, I look more and more like my Mom. My Mom passed away over 5 years ago, and I miss her terribly; when I look in the mirror I see the image of her...my face, my shape....I am beginning to be a carbon copy of her...it makes me sad and happy at the same time......and you thought you were nuts??

I do believe that we get so accustomed to the definition of who we are based on our looks and the weight that has taken over our very being, that when this weight goes away, we need to re-define ourselves and figure out who we are. I know, who we are should not change just based on weight, but it does....this has affected my personality, along with the looks.

Sometimes I do miss the 386 lbs person....why? Because it was comfortable, in a twisted way, but I had found the comfort zone..I had gotten used to being invisible, and now, well, I can't hide anymore. Every morning, before I leave for work, I look at myself in the mirror, make sure I look good, I match....why? Because I care what people think, because they can see me.

This is a rollercoster, most of it is great. I love where I am right now, because I feel normal and I have more confidence...still trying to figure out who I am sometimes, how to deal with the attention, but I get better and better every day! At least the person in the mirror looks familiar!!

Sorry for the rambling.........................Anna

Thanks everyone you all are great, I think people who haven't had this surgery or who aren't in the process of WLS, just don't understand what we go through, so thanks for responding to every question that I have had. It makes me feel alot better to know that someone understands me.