Where's Thomas?

 omg I saw this man when I was like 20 years he had to be in his late 50's wearing speedos...the sight made me want to he thought he looked sexy..I thought he looked......

Imagine if you will, 70's.  Thin, weathered, ample long white body hair and a cultural aversion to bathing and North American deodorant.  A crowded outdoor train with other members of his non bathing friends.  He kindly stood up because I had stitches in my foot and needed to get off it, but the only place he had to stand was right in front of me-putting that speedo at eye and nose level.  Add to that the movement of the train.......jiggle jiggle jiggle.   Poor old bugger was just being nice, but good god almighty.  I had to jam my poor foot down so the pain would take my mind off the speedo and SMILE pleasantly because I didn't want to be one of those ugly Americans you read about.  My friends were doubled over with laughter-buttheads.

Years later I was coming back from Mexico with more stitches (getting my lap band) and I encountered an elderly blind woman who was traveling to Oklahoma alone....LOL.  I helped her through the airport and bathrooms, etc. but vowed at that point to stay home when I have stitches and hopefully stay out of trouble.  I may stay home, but seriously doubt my ability to stay out of trouble.

I bow to you and your humble politeness! Me being the blunt out spoken person that I am would have to tell the dear gentle man the need for personal toiletry..and how sexy some masculine smells are that of a 70 year speedo wearing would not have worked ..he thought that by giving you his seat he would be hit on with the sexy speedos clinging to his frail member that probably looked more like a dried up shirivled vienna sausage....
now I remember why I never would eat such foods....
btw the guy that i encountered thought he was hot to trot riding his ten speed bike..me thinks he thought he was sexy on his bike and a 20 yr old short little fat girl would be thrilled by his attention......he realied quickly that his "sexy" look to me was not just vulgar but nasty....my wording was something like I find a dead dog more attractive than you...and by the way the dog being dead for over a week

I cannot leave you to think that I was perfect.  The train ride was to the end of a river, where we all debarked and snorkled back.  As I was snorkling along I got a lung full of body odor via my snorkel and began to choke and gag and puke a little.  My friends swam over to see what the problem was and I snarled "the damn French are stinking up the entire river".   We hung back, let them go on, and pretty much avoided each other and an international incident for the rest of the day.

Aww but you see I would have told the frenchie just how bad he smelled...to me body odor that is that vile must be rewarded with being told that he smelled worse than a pig farm....and who is it that says the french are the most romantic????give me a good ole southern man...porkskins and mint juleps....

DITTO!