Am I taking the not so easy way out?

Let me first start by saying I don't think WLS is the easy way out. I have had 2 friends do this and they look great but it has been a rough and tough road for them and still continues to be so for one of them.  My best friend is needing a revision due to some complications and she has been so sick for several months and her ins company is being just jerks. Yes, I am rambling here.......

Anyway, I have been looking into WLS for over 2 years now and we recently moved to another state so I am having to start all over with paperwork and such. My husband is very nervous about all this. He has seen my friend go thru hell due to her WLS and even though she looks great she has been very sick. My husband asked me point blank if I have really tried the whole exercise and cal count. He means by going to the gym everyday and recording everything I eat. Really sticking to it for a month to see if it is in my power to lose the weight. He said that he loves me for me and that the size is not an issue but that he doesn't want me hurt or sick  due to the WLS.

I have to admit I have never stuck to a diet and excercise for a long period of time. I always give in to my temptations and I feel bad for that. I really want to lose weight and feel and look good.
I guess what I am asking is, is there anyone out there who didn't really put the full effort out there doing it by a gym and diet and do you regret your decision? I hope this makes sense because I feel like I am rambling. Ugh....
Thanks for any replies

OK THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT THAT EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM THINKS IT IS. IT TAKES A LOT OF HARD WORK TO ACHIEVE THE GOALS THAT YOU SET FOR YOURSELF AND JUST LIKE ANY DIET YOU CAN CHEAT BUT YOU ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU WILL BE IF YOU DON'T HAVE THIS SURGERY AND HOW YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE WILL BE. IF YOU REACH THE DECISION TO HAVE THIS SURGERY YOU WILL INDEED BE IN FOR THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE. I FEEL 100% BETTER AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN CLOSE TO MY ULTIMATE GOAL. I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO BUT WITH THE SUPPORT OF MY FAMILY AND THIS ONLINE FAMILY I KNOW I CAN DO IT. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR DECISION AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH JUST LET ME KNOW.

This sounds like you're not sure what your options really are.  Everyone here wanted to lose the weight and keep it off.  Some people choose to eat the wrong stuff after the surgery and either must live with the weight they gained or they go in for a revision and realize they should have stayed away from the carbs and the bad food.

I was always in the gym and I kept a large amount of my weight off because of that but I was also heavily addicited to food and this surgery came me enough closure and make it a final decision to never be under that coercive power again.

No one here can tell you what to do....it's your life....it's your will power versus the will power that we had to have the surgery....it's a choice that only you can make.  Will you have buyer's remorse?  I did while I was in the hospital for about 3 minutes...and then reality came back into focus about how badly I wanted the surgery in the first place.  I haven't regretted a moment since then....  your body, your future, your choice.

T.

It is definitely a decision that you have to make-although it does have impact on your family too.  If you are bound and determined to stay heavy-you will be able to eat around any surgery-that is something you have to deal with on an ongoing basis.  As you lose weight, you may feel vulnerable and wish for the weight to come back-strange but true.

Yes, if I ate the same way I do know without the surgery, I would probably weigh the same weight I do now-but the surgery enables me to do it on a consistent basis, something I was unable to do before.  I felt like if I had been able to do it and sustain it without the surgery, at 47 I would have.  Surgery provided me with the tool I needed to make my efforts a success.

Only you can answer your husband's question.  I know for me, I could take weight off like gangbusters, but was unable to keep it off.  YoYoing is just as dangerous to the body and the mind as staying fat, maybe more so.  When my Mom asked me "why couldn't you just eat like you do now without surgery"...I popped off with "Why can't you fly a plane?" cause really that's one of those questions that if you knew the answer you wouldn't have to ask in the first place.

I don't know the answer either-but I gave up looking for what was personally lacking in me and found something that would work.  When I found something that would work, I suddenly realized that the lack in me was just a lack, not a complete moral failing and like any good resourceful person I figured out how to make up for the deficit and hit my goal.  That was kind of healing.