I just need to vent a little

Bless your heart.  I would be crushed too.  I know you must just feel like you haven't made a difference in your looks.  NOT TRUE.  I know for a fact that some people are afraid to mention weight loss to overweight people.  I don't know why but they think we are sensitive about it and won't bring it up.  Especially since you didn't discuss the WLS with them they may not feel comfortable bringing up your loss.  You look wonderful and everyone can tell the difference.  Don't let them rain on your parade!!!  You are doing awesome!!!  BTW, my friend at work that had her sleeve was so excited to see her sister after losing her weight and her sister never said a word either.  We decided it was because her sister was overweight and it probably made her feel bad about her own self so she didn't mention the loss.  Weird how people can be.

 

Wow!  Congrats on 115lbs. gone.  Awesome! 

As to the situation with your family members not even acknowledging the dramatic change in your appearance, I can't even imagine.  I have run into this myself before but not from any family members.  For the life of me I cannot understand why some people can't find it within themselves to be happy for someone else.  It is particularly difficult when it comes from people we love and care about.

All I can say is to just keep doing what you are doing because obviously it is working and you are getting healthier with each day.

Someday those folks will come around and realize how much they have hurt you.  In the meantime, just keep  looking on the bright side and stay positive.

Huggs,

Pam

 

Of course it hurts...it hurts because you have worked so hard at getting where you are and are continuing to work hard to get where you want to be. You are doing great with the weight loss, and naturally you want people, whether it is family or friends to ackowledge that, and it amazes me how people that we have known forever, can just ignore what they know would make your day, just to hear. You do see the weight difference in yourself, you lost so much that I know you see it and most importantly feel it. I personally could write a book of WOWs, my life is completely different from the moment I get out of bed in the morning, to the time I go to bed at night. There is no way others don't see the changes, I have not figured out yet if it is jelousy, indifference, or they are just sending the message that they are not going to give you the satisfaction to notice!  However you look at it,  it is down right mean. On my recent trip to California, I visited some cousins, aunt and uncle that I had not seen in four years. They all knew I had WLS, they all knew how much I lost ( I am in contact a few days a week with my aunt), and yet, not a word came out of them about the issue. Did I care? Yes and no. Yes, because, again it is a personal satisfaction to hear from people who are supposed to care about you that they are proud of you. No, because, if I have to be honest, I don't care what they think, I didn't do this for them...I did it for myself, my husband and most importantly my daughter. You are doing an amazing job, keep up the great work, and remember....they noticed... big time!!! - Anna

 

Debbie, I know that it is hurtful when the people that we most want to notice our weight loss don't say anything. Believe me she noticed. The fact that she didn't say anything makes you feel like a failure. Or at least that's the way it makes me feel. Actually we are not failures, but we are if we allow them to make us feel that way. Obviously your Mom has caused you a lot of emotional problems in the past. And as you said, "some things never change". Please try and not let this get the best of you. You have come a long way, and you have done all of it without her help. So, keep on keeping on, and you can do the rest of it without her as well. (((((HUGS))))) Rita

I certainly can understand what you are feeling. What you have accomplished is amazing and it was not easy. Our mothers can be a very powerful force in our lives even if we are independent. Even now my mom can trip my trigger with just a few words. Your OH family is cheering for you and will continure to support you in all your efforts to have a better life.

Thanks all you guys for your encouragement....you are the bst and truly amazing friends to have!  I LOVE you all for the support and your friendship!!!  - from one looser to all you others!!!

My sister in law who wants this surgery does that to me, too. Most of DH's family doesn't comment. When I asked them about it they said, "Well, you've lost a crapload of weight and look good. We didn't want to offend you." Maybe that's the case or maybe someone's jealous of your success!

Thank you.  I'm sure you are exactly right!  Maybe they'd rather see me as inferior and be able to give them something to talk about.  Oh well...I'm getting healthier, more active and like everyone has said...I did it for me and nobody else.  I'll give it back to them as THEIR problem not mine any longer.....  Hae a good one.

Debbie - I'm back from vacay and reading what I missed while I was gone and this post really hit home for me.  My husband's family never asked me how much I had lost or told me they could tell I lost weight.  And they know what this has cost me both financially and emotionally.  I just don't get it!  I carefully picked out clothing and everything.  I know that I have a lot more to lose and maybe that's all they can see?  I have not idea but I, too, was disappointed and somewhat hurt.  But in the long run, I did this for no one but myself!  (and to some degree, for my husband)  As long as I am happy with my progress and my effort, no one can take that from me.  So up theirs!!!  (kidding - I love them)

I'm glad you're back.  I'm sure you guys had a good time.  I don't understand family but then again I can't imagine not being supportive or complimentary of those especially those I love!  You are right though....I didn't do it for anyone but me and to some extent my DH...  I'll see you on Wednesday.