Lack of support of family members...

I think most of us lurked before we posted.  We chubbies tend to have self esteem issues.  But you won't be sorry that you reached out.  Your questions will get answered here and support is available in so many ways.  And we all have our ups and downs.  You don't have to have your children's support in order to do this.  I have two teen daughters and a husband who is a truck driver.  He had just had open heart bypass surgery and been back to work only a couple of weeks when I had my surgery.  He couldn't be home with me.  My kids did what they could to help which means they left me alone and cleaned up after themselves!!!  My mom stayed with them while I was in the hospital and once I was home she headed back to Idabel.  It wasn't bad.  I have had much more difficult surgery...my hysterectomy and my gallbladder where worse for sure!!  You can do this!  And when you get your health back and your life back you will be so glad that you did!  I am riding my bike again and walking and mowing the lawn without feeling like I am going to have a heart attack!  I work in my flower beds.  I used to not care one bit about flowers or the yard because I was so overweight it was misery to take care of those things.  I have so much more joy back now.  I don't have to use my CPAP anymore, I no longer have high blood pressure, I rarely have a headache when I had daily headaches prior to WLS.  TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU AND YOU ARE WORTH IT.  If I can help in any way feel free to message me.  And if you don't know how to get around on here...just ask.  Most of us needed help to get our tickers and avatars going.  I have no idea how people make their profiles so wonderful.  We will walk you through anything if you are willing to ask.  GOOD LUCK!!!  AND TAKE MY WORD FOR IT WEIGHT WISE IS BEYOND WONDERFUL!!!!  THEY TAKE AWESOME CARE OF YOU THERE!!!  Diana

You picked the right place to find support.  These are the most wonderful, welcoming folks I have ever met.  Make yourself at home.  We like and support each other.  As far as we are concerned the more the merrier in this family of ours. I also live alone.  I came home from the hospital the next morning after surgery and was fine alone. That day all I wanted was to sleep in my own bed.  Sure don't need a bbysitter for that!  The only time you absolutely have to depend on someone else is to drive you home from the hospital since you will be on really good drugs!  If your family cannot do this for you just ask one of us.  It will happen for you.  And, if you need anything before you start driving after surgery we can be there then. Making this decision is a very personal journey.  It would be nice if your kids would support you but it is not necessary.  This is very doable alone. Denise

Welcome!!!   I agree w/ everyone else in that this board is tremendously helpful, and you can do this alone!  All of us have been through this, and noone seems to judge anyone else about anything.  I'm sure anything that can happen to you in this process, there's someone here who's dealt with it themselves and help you out.  I'm over 6 weeks out and was a big doubter of my decision both before and after surgery.  I kept asking myself why I wasn't "strong enough" to just do it on my own like some family members and aquaintances said I should be able to do.  Just eat less and exercise more they said.  Well,, that doesn't work for a lot of people.  And it takes a lot of strength to make this decision and go through with it, especially alone.  You must be a very strong and confident person underneath all the overweight low-selfesteem side of you.  And now I am so happy I went through with it.  It's the best think I've ever done for myself and my children.  I've done the best I can do to buy myself more time with them.  You can tell your family that you are doing the same for yourself and them.  If you need anything, let me know.  Or anyone else.  I think the people I've met either just online or online and in person on this board are the best.  And we really care! Diana

Maybe your mission is not changing your identity to make you more acceptable to others but it' about developing the identity of the woman that you've been dreaming about.  If your daughter ,who is a personal trainer, can't see your frustration, then maybe you should just shock the family at the next reunion and let them see the real you walk through the door with confident steps, with a vigorous attitude about your health and the longevity that you're gonna be able to give to your grandkids. Everyone deals differently with weight issues....as for me, I gain 75 pounds, then I take it off in 90 days....so i'm on top of the world when I'm at the low end of the weight scale, then i'm plaugued by guilt when I've finished off a box of hostess dingdongs, (yes those wonderful chocolate cakes), or eaten a full bag of chips in one sitting....  So we're emotional animals that aren't cool with new situations but I've thought a lot about my decision and the benefits that I can have istead of worrying about the haters and the people who would be nay-sayers. This is your life.  Only you can decide how to live it.  And I'm positive you can do this alone because i live on an island where there are no other WLS patients that I am aware of, yet the WONDERFUL people on the board keep me HAPPY, ENTERTAINED, SUPPORTED, & INFORMED.  So if I can do it, with such a weak will, then I have faith in you that you can do it too... T.

Thank you all for this encouragement from each of you.  Cowboy...maybe you are right. I know who I am in my dreams. Maybe that is who I need to become. The personal trainer daughter is pregnant right now so that explains some of her Attitude. The other part is she is a psychology major....she thinks she knows everything(she got that from her dad! haha). I don't think they are ever to old to want to bust their asses at times!!!   Honestly, I don't think I have a choice as the surgery...it's just which one.  I have no doubt that I will die with the diabetes, stents and apnea if I don't do this...Obviously, I haven't been able to do it thus far....I felt like such a failure all these years and I am seeing that I am not alone in that.....finally I hear that I'm not what people have called me for years. It is good to hear positives about this. All of you are right. Maybe I really can do this....I need friends and I am feeling that maybe I can come out of this shell and reach out to people *****ally do understand the situation. This is NOT the easy way out! That's for sure.  Cowboy, living on an Island is everyone's dream....I am sure it is not as easy as our dreams would suggest. From now on I will say, if  weak- willed-dingdong eating Cowboy can do it on a far away Island...then so can I. I had to laugh...I dream of eating a box of twinkies with strawberries all over them, now I wonder if that would  count as "mushies" after it gets soggy??? I am so grateful to have found so many locals here to turn to!! Thank you all again! Sherry

I would say this is the best group in the world!! I have been around long enought to know that I can ask any questions and everyone will try and help out!! AND the pople at weight wise have been no less than the best to me.  Good Luck, and stick around!! Morgan

Sherry, Welcome to Oklahoma OH and most importantly welcome to Weight Wise. I work there, so naturally I think that we are the greatest. Do you need the support of your family? It helps, but the most important thing is that you need the support of someone. You have found that with myself and my friends here on the board. My favorite quote is, "sometimes you just have to jump off that bridge and build your wings on the way down." It took me forever to decide to jump off of the bridge. Now that I have done so, I am a much happier and healthier person. I am proud to say that I am a loser, and you will be too. Can one do this alone? My answer is no, but you are not alone.

We have all been where you are. You can be out going again. Just believe in yourself and take one day at a time. Somedays you have to take one second at a time. We will be here with you every step of the way. No more lurking for you girlfriend. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." You have made great first steps by attending the seminar, and posting here today. Best of luck to you on your WLS journey. If you have questions, give me a shout. If I can't answer them, I know who can. (((((HUGS))))), Rita

Here you can find support, information and encourgment. I have watched these lovely people give the best advice in a very loving and generous way. In every stage of the journey they have been there and are willing to share and support. You must have great desire to change your life so trust in that. Sometimes the voice inside is pushing you to make a better life for yourself, even if the rest of the world ignores or tries to stop you. Be your own best friend and that means loving yourself. Jump in here any time...you already have a place here.

You have certainly come to the right place to find a loving supporting family.  We all know what you go through and we feel your pain with you.  When you cry we cry When you laugh we laugh When you scream we scream When you hurt we hurt We are always here!!!!  You have the best support system in the world here!!!!