need to make a confession

It was those darn crackers that did me in.  I cannot believe how bad I have sabatoged myself.  It started with those stupid crackers.  They told me the protien drinks would upset my stomach so to lay off of them while on the pain meds.  Somehow in the translation I heard, "go eat like a wild pig".  I had about 2 cups of a beef, rice, cheese type cassarole, 2 snack cakes, 2 cups of cheese balls all for dinner last night.  Then today I had to have ritz crackers every time I took pain meds, some more cheese balls, some sour cream potato chips, a brisket bbq sandwich, 2 rice crispie treats with peanut butter on top.    I cannot believe I have done this.  I am so depressed.  DH is bringing some tortillia soup home for supper.  How do I pull myself out of this?  I am going to be so embarrased to weigh in next week at weight wise.  I have been almost perfect on the diet up until now.  I think I have been under too much pressure.  Maybe if I push the surgery date out a bit I will have a better chance at doing this right.  I need to be able to excersize and it sounds like it will take a month for my knee to be ready for that.  They say confession is good for the soul so there it is, the good bad and very ugly of it.

Ok friend! Let's talk. I had one of those days yesterday when I felt like all I wanted to do was eat. I'm terrified of gaining before surgery, but I'm still struggling with the demons too. Here's my advice. Don't wait until tomorrow to get back on track. Do it NOW. Before tortilla soup. In fact, tell him to keep it away from you. Go right back to the shakes. Every time you think about being hungry, drink some water. Read, do puzzles, whatever you can to keep from thinking about food. You can do this. Don't get your mind set on putting off surgery. Do everything you can to meet that date, but don't give in yet. We all slip. Get up, pull up your big girl panties (to quote you) and brush yourself off. Still waving my pom pom's!!! I'm here for you!! Cindy

Amy, You can do this.  I had a day like that myself  the weekend before surgery - except worse.  I actually went out and bought the stuff to make this horrible (for me) hamburger/noodle/mushroom/velveeta casserole that I LOVE and then made it and kept eating it until I was sick... Then I followed up with cheescake, a regular coke, some dill pickle pringles, and god only knows what else kind of crap on that day.  I was totally out of control and freaked out that it would be months and months before I would even be able to taste some of those things again, and knew that some would NEVER be accessible to me again... BUT, then on the next day, I woke up, had my shake for breakfast, and washed it down with an extra 1.5L of water, and despite all the food horror, by two days later, I was back to the same weight I was before I lost it on Saturday. You can do this - keep talking to yourself about all the things you will be able to do once you have surgery and start losing.  You can do this... don't focus on the shakes... food is only fuel... use the shakes to fuel up and keep going.  I know you can't move around much at this point, but until you can, find a computer game you like, read a good book, crochet or knit (if you do such things), or find something that will keep you from just sitting and focusing on the food you can't have right now.  You can do this!! We'll all be thinking of you... let us know if you need more support! John

All right girl.  You have confessed.  Now get right back on the horse and ride!!!  I don't think you are going to find ONE of us who has not had one of these moments/days/God Forbid-Weeks!! I, for one, appreciate you baring your soul.  I, also, will be right behind you pushing you all the way to surgery.  If you TRULY think you cannot do this right now, then fine, reschedule and get it together.  If you are just feeling sorry for yourself because you had a set back, then PULL YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES UP (that statement will haunt you for a long time!) and let's move on.  I am not going to blow smoke up your tushy.  You DID have a set back, you did fall off the wagon, you did eat things you should not have.  BUT I have always been honest with you guys and I will admit again - I am NOT the most compliant patient in the county either!! Now, what can WE do to get you where you want to go?  If we all need to take a day and come babysit you, well, I'll be the first in line!!  If we need to call you to check on you, I'll take your number now!!  You tell us what we can do to support you.  However, it has to be YOU that takes all the bad stuff and makes it good and refuses to put things in your mouth that are not currently on your program. All of us fail at some time or another, unfortunately.  But that does not mean we cannot get ourselves back on the road and be successful on our journey!!   We love you and want to see you be successful.  We are here for you and will always be with you!!   Keep these in mind!! No one ever won a chess game by betting on each move. Sometimes you have to move backward to get a step forward. -- Amar Gopal Bose

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -- Confucius

 You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there. -- Edwin Louis Cole

 If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless. -- Robert H. Schuller

 I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying. -- Tom Hopkins

OK sweetie!  No more beating yourself up over this.  That will do absolutely no good.  We have all done things like this before so you are not alone.  We do understand. Now, just get yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that horse again!  We are here for one another and want to see you succeed and you will! Huggs, Pam

Amy, you CAN do this! I know you can!!! Snowball this ... you're an expert at that!!! Pretend you've already had surgery and if you eat anything wrong you risk your staple line .... that's my thinking right now and I'd like to share it with someone because I'm getting REALLY tired of it! ; ) I'm  praying for you right now. 

Amy - you can do this!  So you made a mistake?  Just get back on track ASAP.  I was always bad about pigging out and then saying, "Oh well!  I already blew it so I'll just start my diet next week."  That was my road to obesity!  This is our time, gal!  This is our chance to get it together and give ourselves the opportunity to live the life of a "normal" sized person.  To me, that would be so incredible!  Do I struggle?  You bet!  But I want to lose weight so bad I can taste it!  (bad analogy but there is the root of my problem!)  I have 3 more pounds to lose before May 28 and I'm gonna do whatever I have to do to make it happen.  Change your surgery date to May 28 and I'll be your surgery buddy and hound you every day!  Ha! Don't be too hard on yourself and I'm so glad you "confessed" to us here.  We really do care and understand because we have been there! Ditto what Ruth said - give me your phone number and I'll give you mine.  When you think you're going to lay your choppers on something you shouldn't have, call me!  I'll talk you down! Man, I can ramble on!  Long story short - step away from the ritz!!!  And step towards one of us! Kim

Amy, (((((HUGS))))) Sometimes binging like that can actually jump start your metabolism. It's okay, it's done so don't beat yourself up.Only you know when the right time for you is to have the .surgery. But, don't let this stop you. Just start tomorrow doing what you know that you are suppossed to do. When you weigh next week, and if you see that you are too far from an obtainable range, then you can decide to change surgery dates. You can do this and you are not a failure. Just remember only you know when you feel right about having the surgery. Like everyone else has said, we all screw up. If you need anything at all please do not hesitate to ask. Don't be embarrased to weigh in. You are only human and we all make mistakes and we learn from them. That being said, pull up them big girl pantied, hell give yourself a wedgey if you need too. Love ya, Rita

See, I always have thought that white carbs were sinful (before sinfully delicious; after sinful little buggers who aim to seek and destroy!).  No, truly in all seriousness, I think that the pre-op diet is one of the hardest parts people go through, but that being said, remind yourself that it is for your HEALTH and your WELL BEING that they have you lose weight prior to surgery.  You can do it.  Like everyone else said, we have all been down that road before.   The trick is recognizing that you're making a poor decision and acting RIGHT THEN AND THERE and choosing to make a better decision.  I know you want this surgery and I'm proud of how well you've done to get yourself there.  To quote good ole Scarlett, "tomorrow is another day."  You can do it!  Let us know how we can help! Robyn

OK, your post-op pity party is officially over!!!  I have had some many food pity parties it would amaze you- or maybe not- you've seen the size of my tushie! =) Don't reschedule your surgery!  That will only give you "permission" to keep eating for a while longer before you rein it in.  Wait until your surgeon says you are too far away to make the 21st.  You have done so well up to this point.  DON'T GIVE UP!!!! And remember I have your phone number and I am not afraid to use it! You have my numbers if you just want to talk. Denise