Need a sounding board...

I have my surgery in 19 days and I am nervous, but really excited.  However, it seems like today has brought out all the negative responses people have held in.  My co-worker has done nothing but say that I'm an idiot for having the surgery.  She keeps saying, you realize you will have 60 more years of your life to live with that surgery.  Of course, she then turns arounds and makes unsolicited comments about how even my feet are fat.  (May I point out that she probably weighs 110 and is 5ft tall?)  My mother is supportive but not at all in favor of the decision.  She says she supports it because I want to do it, but she wishes there was another way.  My brother found out two days ago and won't even speak to me anymore.  They all seem to think that all I need to do is and I quote one of them, "Stop eating 14 boxes of cookies and you'll lose weight!"  Can I say that I have never even eaten 1 box of cookies?  If I hear one more time that this is the easy way out and all I need is to exert some willpower, I may scream.  Thank goodness for my DH - I'm going to need him and his support; he's been great.  Sorry to put this out there, but it's making me sad and I just don't want to be sad about this surgery. 

LakeGirl:  Here are a couple of "reality checks" for you: 1.  Are YOU happy and confidant in your decision to have weightloss surgery? 2.  Are YOU happy with your choice in a surgeon and program you feel with help you be successful? 3.  Have you made an informed decision about what the procedure can do for you? 4.  Will this procedure help you realize your goal of losing weight? 5. Have you tried all other resources you have available to realize your weight loss goals? One thing you need to realize is that you are always going to have someone who wants to undermine your success, pipe in on your dreams and kill them, etc.  You have to come to the determination that you are doing this for YOUR health, you have done YOUR homework, and you are happy with YOUR decision.  This is the most selfish and selfless thing you can do for yourself.   Let me know what I can do to help you.  I'll come beat them up if you want!! 

Robyn, Your co-worker is just afraid that you will look better than her. As far as everyone else, "who gives a fat rat's ass?"  It's nice that you have your DH's support. that will help you tremendously. Your Mom and brother are probably just scared for you.  It's perfectly normal for you to be nervous. Just spend the next 19 days learning all you can about the surgery, what to expect and how you should eat. I have found this site very helpful for ideas and support. One of my favorite sites is from a lady on the mainboard. Visit it when you get a chance. www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com  She has a awesome site with lots of her own recipes and helpful tips for after the surgery. Don't be sad. I was kinda sad because I was going to lose my best friend (food). It's not such a bad thing though. Buck up sparky!!!! It's going to be okay. If you need anything just give me a shout, Rita

Rita!  OMG!  YOU CRACK ME UP! FAT RAT'S ASS!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT FROM YOU!!! I HAVE TO SAY.....IT JUST MAKES ME LOVE YOU MORE!! LOL Robyn-  My dad still tells me that I could have done this on my own.  He goes on and on about how he has lost 40 pounds just by watching what he eats and getting more exercise.  But he's never been obese and has no clue what it is like to be me and he is retired and has the time to do what he wants and I JUST IGNORE IT AND LOVE HIM ANYWAY!!!  I know that I was afraid that if I had any really bad complications that everyone would say I TOLD YOU SO!!!  But really, you know yourself better than anyone else on this earth.  Go with your gut...not someone else's. Good luck to you!!!

Ditto to what these 2 smart, sweet ladies said. I have people at work who monitor what I'm eating.  Take it as an opportunity to educate people about the plan. My big bro thinks "So what? I'll gain it all back." I say, "F off, big bro!" 

Some of my family (especially my dad) were against it.  Dad probably still is but at least he showed up at the hospital and stayed all day, that was a major step towards pulling him to the Light Side of the Force.  I had to decide I was doing this for me and damned the critics.  They dont live my life day to day, they dont know the internal struggles I have dealt with when it comes to food, they have never had to deal with having to buy new clothes 2-3 times a year cause your old ones are too tight or not long enough to cover "the tire".  My sister supports me but she is still so worried about me cause "I cannot eat something when I am feeling down".  Reality check sis, thats why both of your kids are obese too, you comfort feed them.  Lakegirl we are just like alcoholics, smokers, and drug addicts.  Foos has been our drug for years.  We have tried diets only to gain it back plus some.  We have done Atkins, Dr Phil, Weigh****chers, Slim Fast, and failed.  Your 100 lb co-worker has a totally different machine than you do.  She is a sleek little 63 Corvette.  Right now i am an old broken down Volkswagon van.  I just simply had Dr. Gorospe and Dr Kirk go in and "Pimp My Ride".  Before long I will be a sleek Ford 5-350 Turbo Diesel (dont you just love my analogies?) The main picture is darling, do this for YOU.  And like it was said above, anyone who dont like it can get ready for a middle finger in their face.  Best of luck to you

Well said okie wold

You are a very wise and insightful man who speaks that pure truth.  I agree with everything you said! Awesome response!!  You guys are all doing a great job....not that you needed me to tell you that!

I completely love what you have written, Dan. ; ) Excellent!

Robyn, I think we're all really in the same boat with your mother - we wish there was another way - but the fact is for those of us who have come to the point of surgery, there really, really is not another way that will offer us the same (or even close to the same) chance to regain control over our lives.  Dr. Walton even said to me that nobody thinks surgery is a great alternative, it's just the best one that we have available to take our lives back. I'm sorry for the negative comments and attitudes you are getting right now.  Hang in there - you are the one making the choices to make your life better. I didn't hear anyone say it last night at support group, but last month there was a lady who said she has learned to tell the nay sayers - "yes, I had WLS, and it was the best thing I could have possibly done for myself."  According to her, that holds them at bay pretty well. If nothing works, and you have to call Ruth to come beat someone up, let me know and I'll come along - I'm still pre-op as well, so I have plenty of weight to throw into a good beating if it's required.    We're