Posting on OH

Before I had my surgery I posted and replied all the time, after surgery I slowed down and have stopped. The other day I posted about having a hernia and needing to be operated on again...THe shocker for me was I had only one person to reply to me....What happened to the support? it seems as if you have a complication you are ignored or just left to be alone. Either that  or I am not a member of any click so again I dont get any support. It is just sad to me that the folks who I thought would cheer me up, instead let me down. I am seriously thinking of pulling my profile and let the clickers just have it...

I only post right here on the Oklahoma boards so if its not posted here I don't see it.  And even on here I don't read every single post, I would be here for days.

Hey Pattye, I am sorry about your hernia, I am sorry I can't relate, I do hope things work out for you.  Please don't be discouraged in someone not replying, I am sure it was an oversight, sometimes I might read a post and have nothing to add, or just don't get on that day.  Please don't feel bad,  today in our support meeting, we talked about what happens when we lean on people, well people will let us down, don't get upset and go join them, be above that, keep doing what you've done in the past.  Being an encourager for others helps lift us up as well.  I hope you don't pull your profile, best of luck in your health issues. Brenda

It just seems to as I said before that if you are not a member of a click you get pushed aside. I am not the only person that has noticed this. I maybe should not even had posted about having a hernia because of my bypass. Its one of those things that you think HEY if I post this maybe someone else is going through it to....I have gone throught tomuch since I started this journey to give up now, plus it is not in my nature... Thank you for taking the time to help me feel like I am not alone

I am sorry if I missed your post. Sometimes it is days before I get to get on to OH. I have a 2 year old and she wants to help if I am on the computer. The best times for me is in the middle of the night when I am at work if we are slow (which has not happend in a while). I wish you the best of luck with the hernia repair.  Tressa

I am so sorry you didnt get the response you needed. I am guilty of not answering every post most the time I read them but dont have any good input so I dont post. then there are times I dont have time to read or post. I truely am sorry you feel you have been let down. Please dont let this one bad experience cause you to leave the group.

I try to at least read all of the posts, but don't always have anything to respond...  Sometimes I'm in a funk (esp. lately) and don't even get online for days... Sorry you are going through this.  Do you know when you are going to have surgery?  Don't pull your profile, please. Dot

I am barely almost a month out from surgery and so if you posted here about ahernia I have no good advice for ya.  Sorry that you didnt get the response you needed.  On some of the serious things you might need since alot here are still pre or barely out I also post on the RNY board.  I too read all the post but if I cant relate or give any advice I dont reply.

I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt.  I honestly did not see your post. I have been in your shoes before.  I do not have one single friend in this world besides my husband and he is a truck driver and on the road all the time. I have always only had a friend or two my whole life.  Mostly due to self esteem issues and also because my first husband was such a jerk no one wanted to be around him.  When the family moved to Texas for 3 years and Arizona for 3 years it was difficult to keep the connection strong with my two best friends.  When I divorced him and came back to Oklahoma it was still difficult because they were married for over 20 years each (like I was) and now I was single. We lived in different worlds.  I began to develop some self esteem and backbone finally at 38 years old and they couldn't handle the changes in me.   I was in a singles group the 3 years I was single and had many friends though only one really good friend. But when I married then that was weird yet again.  So for 3 years I have had no friends other than my DH.  I work 9 hour days, sometimes 10 and it's difficult to add friends to a life that is always so busy.   I met my husband online so I had hoped to make a friend or two online. When you go on the RNY board you see some people who have SO many friends.  But that has not happened for me.  I think one reason is that I am just not totally myself yet since surgery so I don't always respond to posts and when I respond like this with a book...I feel people may think, "She needs to get a life!" I have been wondering if a group had went to another place to support each other.  I haven't seen Tonja on the boards for a long time...or Kathy...or you.   I have to admit it has been easiest for me to post to people I have actually met at the support group or the hospital where I had surgery.  I think that's just natural.  I am going to my support group this week and hope not to find a best friend but to be more comfortable in connecting. When you have gone 10 years without a really close friend you feel kind of unworthy and unacceptable and it's hard to reach out so I am taking baby steps. I remember one of my first posts on OH Oklahoma was almost my last. I posted about being terrified of loose skin and asked if having the lap band & losing weight more slowly would reduce the chance of loose skin vs. having RNY.  The responses I got shocked me. I felt I was being scolded for being vain rather than worrying about my health. I didn't post again for quite some time....I just read posts. It took me quite some time to get up the courage to post again.  I hope that sharing my story with you has encouraged you.  I hate clicks and would never want to exclude anyone from feeling welcome and accepted. I wish you the best outcome and recovery with your hernia repair.  I hope that if you reach out on OH again for support that  you won't be disappointed.  If you ever want to PM me just add me to your friends and I will respond.  Blessings!!!! <<>> Diana

I am kinda like you..I lost my closest and dearest friend in november 2006 it tore my world apart. So when I decided to have WLS I had no family or friends to say hey I will be there for ya. I became for the first time totally independent of anyone or thing. When I had my surgery I felt so alone..but Imade it through then when I had to have emergency surgery for a servere infection I again relied on me. But throughout all of it I made sure I motivated newbies and gave assurance to others that this was just a little bump in the road. THis time the bump is  ahuge bulge that hurts all the time.  I am not as lonely as I was before THANK GOD I found a wonderful man online who knows what being overweight is like and is here(online and phone) supporting me. I just have never understoood why there are so many folks on here that do the click thing...As most of us have been overweight and have been rejected in the past.  I thank you for what you have written it doesnt make me feel so alone. And I think I have learned a lesson from all of this.. I should only post on the Oklahoma forum and let the others have the main one. As for Tonja and Cathy I have not heard from them in awhile..ever since I went to NC for a month. Maybe I should break down and call her... THey are both great friends and so is DEB...Sure ca not forget how wonderful she was to me after my surgery. You have helped remind me I am not alone I just need to let the friends I do have know whats  up. I would love to add u as  a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!