off topic..need advice if anyone has any

my daughter is six. and in first grade.  every day her daycare tells me that she tells her daycare that she had a rough day at school. When I ask her or her teacher (at school) they both tell me she had a good day. My daughter says. "they're lying" I did not say I had a rough day I didnt tell them anything about the kind of day I had".  she is really grumpy in the evening. I usually have to send her to her room when we get home so she can calm down. She usually spends about five minutes in her room throwing a screaming fit and then comes out and is calmed down and fine for the rest of the  night.  I feel like I should be doing something more just not sure what . I keep trying to talk to her about it but she just says that she had a good day at school but then I dont know why she is so grumpy and angry when she gets home. She did  tell me she is tired during the day.. I keep moving her bedtime up. I try to get her to bed by 830-9pm otherwise she does not have time to do her homework ... so any advice?

My first thought is that whatever is going on is going on at the daycare, not school. Ask her, when she's not grumpy, if there is anything at the daycare that is upsetting her.

8-9 hours is a very long day for a six year old.  I have a 5 yr. old boy and I've also noticed he is very tired and grumpy when I pick him up from the babysitter at 5:00.  I think society expects way too much out of our little ones today!  I would suggest talking to the daycare about the possibility of laying her down for a nap after school. If that's not possible, you might try a private babysitter where there would be a quieter, less stimulating environment where she can rest.  Good luck! J.J.

My youngest daughter is six years old and I addressed similar issues with her teacher at school. #1 - she has to go to bed earlier.  Taylen's teacher who has a psychology background said that kids this age need 10 hours of sleep each night.  So, bath time is at 8:00pm and bedtime is at 8:30pm.  Since changing to this, it has made a world of difference.  Even the teacher has noted it. #2 - you need to talk to her teacher at school about all the homework.  If it is taking all night to do it - from the time she gets home - until bedtime - she's not able to unwind.  Is she doing her homework as soon as she gets home?  That's the best time for them to get it done and over with. #3 - do you have an agenda sheet at home for her to go by?  At this age, everything is a bit overwhelming.  If you have an agenda of things she can mark off, it might make her feel like she is actually making progress. #4 - the fit throwing isn't acceptable.  You need to get down on her level and talk to her calmly - if she continues to throw a fit - just sit there and tell her that once she has calmed down, she will have your full attention, but not until she calms down.  She's having a hard time getting control of her emotions.  If she has always been this way, it might be quite a task to get control of it, but at this age, you can do it. #5 - if she is having a hard time telling you about the emotions that she is having, you might talk to the school counselor about it and see if she could schedule some weekly special time with your daughter.  Taylen's school has an actual program for kids that are going through this to try to help them transition - and it seems to be helping. #6 - if the school isn't able to help, try to find a counselor outside of school that can help.  It's nothing to be ashamed of and in the long run, your daughter is going to thank you for it. So, all in all, being young and being female really sucks at times - but we as adults can help them try to make the transition easier. Hang in there! Blessings! Tonja

I love the advice you've gotten so far. I've just got a couple of things to add to it.  Homework - my son is in 5th grade, and his teacher doesn't allow them anymore then 45minutes of homework. She actually told me to cut him off at NO later then 60 minutes regardless of how much he's got done. (of course HE doesn't know this information) lol  IF you child is getting more then I'd talk with the teacher.  Open Door - schools and daycares have an open door policy. It might do you well to take an afternoon off of work and do a drop in to both places. You can probably watch her for just a few minutes (especially if she doesn't know you're there) and tell what kind of attitude she has.  I'm kind of jealous of her......... I'd LOVE to be able to throw a fit and get sent to my room!!! ROFL She's just "in training". She'll learn how to handle her emotions, just be consistant with your training. It is a challenge, and THEN puberty hits - whew!!!!!  HUGS

I am suprised the daycare doesn't have a homework program. That would free up time at home.  I hope things get worked out.

I agree with (and love) all the comments above. Although, I will suggest another version of #2 of Tonja's. My thought is that since they've been in school all day, they need some "play time" before they start homework.  I tell my kids to do whatever they want until about 6:00, at which time we have dinner and start homework.  I can see the benefit of both, though, so see what fits with your daughter. Last thing...have you talked to your pediatrician?  When we were having probs with my son's school, the counselor advised me to take him to his pediatrician (Ethan was 7 at the time).  Pediatrician asked Ethan a series of questions.  After all were answered, Ethan's doc said "remove him from the public school system" Of course I couldn't afford that, so we just had to accomodate in other ways.  However, I was glad that the counselor suggested a doc...it helped my reassurance. Cathy