Not planning for post-op

There are so many things that I know I should be doing, but I'm not doing any of them. I should be getting some broth-like liquids around the house (or other clear liquids) I should be getting a gym membership I should be getting books for my recoupe time about WLS & LapBand. I should be telling people that I'll come to the Oct. support group But I'm not. I can't shake the worry that Dr. Gornichec is going to open me up, look around, and stitch me together and tell me to go home because of other problems and health issues...not putting on a band. Dr. G & I have discussed this and he has warned me that there's a possibility that he'll do this.  He says I may have too much scar tissue.  He says I'm a higher risk (not of death, but of not putting on the band).  Not to mention, who knows how my liver will look. I've had nightmares of my surgery being cancelled, or Dr. G not showing up, or me eating peanut M&M's when he comes in to visit me on the morning of surgery (of which he cancels).  I know these dreams are related to the fear that I'm not going to get a band. I would hate to think that I've put forth so much effort, time, and money,  for nothing to happen in the longrun. So, because of this, I'm not able to plan.  There's too much "unknown".  In fact, I'm not going to know whether I have a LapBand until I wake up Thursday after surgery.   ***sigh*** Cathy

I can totally relate to your "nightmares".  My surgery is the day before yours and I am having constant nightmares of what is or isnt going to happen.  Mine are where after surgery instead of losing weight, I actually gain weight or that the doc cancells surgery because I have been sleep smoking...  see this is the 3rd date set for my surgery...the first one because of a prior arrangement so I needed to change it and the 2nd one was changed because I didnt quit smoking in time...so here I am on the 3rd date... The dreams and thoughts are getting more and more graphic and not so friendly but I know that it is just nerves.... You will do just fine and good luck on wednesday with your surgery. Deni

Congrats on quitting smoking!  What a wonderful feat...you should be proud of yourself! Thank you for your kind words.  Good luck on Tuesday! Cathy

Cathy,     First , I admire you for putting your feelings and fears out there .  I am alot like you , even though I have no idea at this point whether i will actually be approved for surgery , although things seem to be moving quickly and smoothly.  I have most of my testing on Thursday , your surgery day!!   I am one of those "what if"  people too , but i am trying through this experience to get rid of some of that thinking .  I hope you will just remain POSITIVE, and know that there are people who feel or have felt the same way!!  I am planning on attending the OCT. meeting , so I hope to see you there and i hope we both have very GOOD news. Lu

Lu Thanks for the support.  Good luck on your pre-op testing! 

When you say you've not been approved, do you mean by your insurance or by the results of the testing?

Cathy

 

Cathy , Actually both insurance and testing , , although i dont foresee any problems , but you never know !! LU

Bless your heart Cathy, You will continue to be in my prayers.  Just remember, whatever happens, it's God's plan.  There is a reason for everything. Just remember, no matter what - I'm here for you! Tonja

Tonja, I know.  I have to keep telling myself this.  It's not up to me anymore.   This is God's decision now. Thanks for being such a great support! Cathy

Cathy, I woke up from surger and wondered how I would really KNOW there was a band there-I mean there was a port, but what proof did I have that he had actually banded me? Part of it was the anesthesia talking and part of it was that I had fought so long and hard with the insurance company that I never believed it would happen.  Then, the self pay route seemed so, easy-too easy....what is THIS?  It can't be real.  Another part of it was just low self esteem, my thinking I didn't deserve the band, or to be thin. I have a book called Banded for Life or something like that I'll loan you if you want to read it. You'll have plenty of time for Gym Membership afterward.  You'll be down for a couple of weeks. Get a few clear liquids/etc but don't stock up-it would have overwhelmed the crud out of me to see a mountain of chicken broth in my cabinet.  I bought enough for a few days, and then went and got something different when I began to run out.  Same with mushies.

You are doing the right thing-reaching out to people who have been there already-this board and a few banded friends got me through it.

Finally, if you wake up Thursday and you are not banded, that's just God's way of saying look a little harder for the answer.  I believe that you WILL be banded, but if not, I am here to help you look.

 

 

Thank you.   You're right about me being overwhelmed by the contents of my pantry.  I look in my fridge now and think "yuck" when I look at all the pre-op liquid crap I bought.  It just seems endless. YMCA has a gym reduction fee going on through the month of September.  I thought I'll still be okay if I wait until after surgery to know whether I'll need it (actually, I should get it regardless of being banded or not) I may want to borrow your book.  I'll shoot a message to you after surgery if everything goes through.  Thank you for the offer.

I just hope that when I wake up, someone will be there to tell me "yes it happenedl" or "sorry".  My husband will be in class for most of the day, so I'm not sure who will be at my side when I wake up.

Cathy