I feel like I am dealing with a rock...

First I am going to have to start off by saying "I love my husband very much" but then after conversations like the one we just had I feel like I am dealing with a rock....(a phrase used by recruiters to describe a kid who scores so low on thier asvab test that they cant even get in).   I am 10 days out from having WLS and we were taking about things that need to be done before I go into the hospital...you know like bills need to be paid, groceries need to be bought, meals need to be made and froze with instructions on them and such....not to mention that I also am a full time student so I need to make sure that all my school work is ahead for the week that I am taking off from school...(hopefully i dont need to take more time than that)  Not to mention that I had to arrange with my oldest child (who just moved into the college dorms last week) to come back into the house to help her dad take care of her 3 and 7 year old brother and sister...you know make sure they get to school and daycare before she heads off to school herself.  See dad works nights now (he is in the Army) and someone needs to be here at night...so of course i am on top of it all including planning my 7 year olds bday (which is the 6th of Sept) the weekend before I have surgery so she doesnt feel left out because i will be in the hospital on her bday. we started talking about what time I need to be at the hospital (5:30 am) and we have 1 hour drive and then my husband says "I think I want to drive seperate vehicles so I can get to work in the afternoon"  WHAT!!!!  SEPERATE VEHICLES!!!! I looked at him quite confused and then he said " Youll be able to drive yourself home afterwards, right?"  Are you fricken kidding me?  I have now come to the conclusion that my husband has not heard a word i have said for the last 5 months....he actually had the nerve to compare the surgery to his VASECTOMY...are you kidding me.... HIS VASECTOMY...he didnt even get to get out of work for that...he was done on a Friday and had to return to work on Monday...and he did drive himself from the hospital afterwards.... I honestly do not think he has taken in how serious this surgery is or can be....I told that he needs to watch a video of what exactly the surgery entails...he says that he understands exactly what the surgery is about and that he just misspoke...ok, i really dont know...these are the things that can tend to make a person more nervous about something so serious that one is about to embark on....

yup, sounds like he's pretty clueless!  I think God intended the invention of baseball bats to be "enlightening" tools for husbands.   You've got some "EDUCATING" to do in the next few days. I'd suggest you bring him to the boards to help him learn about your surgery and recovery!!  If worse comes to worse you could always tell him, if he wants seperate cars then you want seperate BEDROOMS!!!!!  Best of wishes to you!! I know it feels crazy nuts right now, but it will iron out and you'll be on your way to a new you before you know it!  HUGS 

Well, speaking from my experience, that is an Army guy thing, I believe once he sees your scar he will have his reality check….not much else you can do. And hey, make sure you take advantage of him when you get home, that is when you really need the help….

 

 

We left Lawton on the morning of my surgery, and once I was in my room and somewhat awake, I send my husband home, not a whole lot for them to do anyways, I slept most of the morning into late afternoon, watched some TV and in the early evening the nurse came and got me up for my first walk, she showed me how and what to unhook….and off we went, I went by myself later that night with no problem, and trust me the nurses are great up there and will help you with whatever you need…..my husband came back in the morning, walked with me for a while, but then again….it is kinda boring for them…so I told him to go home….I was up and walking by myself just fine….of course everybody is different….

 

 

The next day Dr Warnock came in early in the morning and discharged me to the Rathberg house….

 

Again, my husband got me across the street (it took  longer to get in the car, an SUV) then to walk or to drive, ha-ha…

 

Make sure you take a pillow with you…and again, I saw no need for him to hang around, so again, I told him to go home, ( I don’t mind being by self, it felt kinda nice not too worry about anything ….and I was able to watch on tv what I wanted ) I walked the hallways till it was time to go to bed, got up the next morning, called the good doctor back, and got my clearing to go home….and hubby was already there and had the car ready to go…..

 

You will see how understanding they all are, at the hospital and the guesthouse…no need for hubby to hang around and be bored….and he can be home and keeping things moving there….

 

But again, some of us are more depended on some than others…..but no way will you be able to drive yourself…..that he really needs a check on….lol

 

Men......hmph.  If it were me-I'd take a cab in, and let him come to pick me up later.  And I'm not being ugly when I say that-I really do that sometimes.  I am more nervous trying to make sure my "sitter" is having an ok morning than I am if I am just by myself. Men are terrible at planning and even worse at waiting around, and even worse about sharing emotions like fear, etc.  Thank goodness they have other skills that make them come in handy, else we wouldn't need them at all.