Is it worth it!?!

Hello, First of all, I have to say how happy I am to finally be here. I have been trying to get approved for my RNY since last January so I am thrilled. Now that I am able to have the surgery I am wanting to make sure that it is worth it. For those of you who have had the RNY, would you change a thing? Have all of the ups and downs been worth it? The reason why I ask is because after a year of insurance battles, I have decided to do self pay. There is a small blemish on our credit so my dad took the loan out for me and with in 24hrs. we were approved. That leaves me with the delema. If insurance was paying for this I would not even have a second thought but now I am paying 29,000. This means that we have to postpone buying a house, right now we are living in my husbands grandmothers house which is only 2 bedrooms but rent free, and it is becoming a little crowded for my husband, myself and our 6,3 and 2 year old. Is it fair to the kids to make them continue to share a room? My husband had a great offer for a teaching position in China next year and we had planned to go but will have to now put that on hold because I want to pay my dad back before heading overseas plus the money we would be using for airfare/moving expenses will be used for the surgery. Plus, we go to Disney World every year and that trip will have to be postponed as well. (Probably for the next couple of years) I really need this surgery and feel like that it is important that I do this for "me" but am I being selfish? If you had to pay, would you still have it done? The surgery will make things tight but my insurance refuses to pay so there is no other way. What would you do?

In each situation every person has to decide for themselves... Ask yourself this.... Is the chance to live a better life & to see your kids grow up more important than the short time you would have at DisneyWorld or continuing to live in a cramped house? As for finances, only you know what you can afford...An option may be to work part time, babysit, etc to pay a little extra each month to repay the debt to be able to go ahead & move to China...

I was self pay because it was my only option. In less than 8 months I am down 129 lbs. I have between 75 - 95 left to go (I say that because I know that I am going to have excess skin - and may realistically not be able to get that off without more surgical help). Even if I never get down to "goal" I am so glad that I made this journey. Before surgery I was on 2 oral diabetes meds and long lasting insulin, as well as pain meds, high blood pressure, high cholersterol, antidepressents. As of now, the only thing I am taking (besides vitamins) is the cholesterol medicine, and fully expect to come off of that in the next few months. I feel better - both physically and about myself. Only you can make the decision if it is worth it. It is scary, and one of the scariest things for me, as a self pay, was what if there are complications. Praise God, I did not have any - but I understand that there is now an insurance that you can buy that will cover the costs of any complications. I do not know anything about it - what it covers, what it costs - who provides, but your surgeon might. I heard about it at my surgeon's support group, but of course it was too late for me (and as I said I was lucky). Even taking the chance on complications - I am glad I did it. Just a word of advice. Know your surgeon, his record and be very comfortable with your choice. My surgeon has a complication rate that is very very below the national norm. He is super careful. And follow, as much as possible, to the "T" your surgeon's advice on what to eat, how to prepare etc. One final peice of advice - pray about it. God will help you know what it right for you and your family. Sharon

Theresa: All of the questions you are asking yourself are normal! You have to overcome the "selfish" question. Ask yourself this: If I don't have this surgery, how much will I not be able to do with my family. Will I be able to take care of them when I can't breath, can't walk, can't be part of their lives because you just don't feel well? I know those are harsh questions, but you have a whole family you have to be well to take care of and to help in growing up to be good people. I look back at my pictures from the past few years and wonder how much more I could have done with my daughter if I had just felt better! The days I just sent her to my mom's because I just didn't feel well. The days she had to fix her own dinner because I was too tired from the extra weight I carried. Although I am only five months out (and several of those months were NOT pretty!) I feel 10x better than I did the months before my surgery. I am off all my medications, off my CPAP, off the anti-depressants that I existed on for years! I have almost 100 pounds less of me - that is almost THREE of my granddaughter in weight! You have a great surgeon - Dr. Walton performed my RNY in July 06. You have a great program to help you through and support you. If you have the love and support of your family you are way ahead of the game! Think about how much more involved you'll be able to be when you are healthier! Good luck! If you aren't already attending the support group at WeightWise - please do! The group is a place where you can get additional support and love as you progress into your new life! Ruth

Theresa, My only regret about this surgery is that I didn't do it when my children were still at home. They will benefit so much because you will be able to be a hands on mommy. You will be able to run and play with them and participate in their lives. I did everything with my children when they were young but it was always so hard. When we took them skiing I always sat at the lodge. I was afraid if I fell they would have to get a crane to pick me up. You will benefit as will your babies and your husband. The kids will enjoy Disneyworld much more when they are older so don't worry about it. When I had my RNY we had insurance that paid. Since then, we have paid for our son and daughter to have surgery. Just won't be able to retire as early as we hoped. It is so worth it. There are no words to describe what it feels like to regain your health. Its like you are now walking with snow shoes and suddenly you are in running shoes on dry pavement. Good luck. Just jump in there. For about 2 months I wondered what the heck I was thinking, but I was much older than you. After that, it has been so satisfying. I don't miss the food. I can fly on airplanes and shop in regular stores. Best of luck. Sandy Gose

Hello. My insurance did pay for mine. But on the other question. I did it for myself and my family. Just jump in with both feet. The only regret, I wish I did it sooner. But now that I have its a better life for me, my girls and my husband. My weight hasn't just dropped off, but I want to lose it slower. It's been almost 2 months and I've lost almost 40lbs. My girls are still very young and I want to watch them grow up. Good Luck! Melissa

Thank you all for the support and kind words! I needed that extra push. I was having a little self pity party and needed to be kicked out of that! I know that I need to do this for me and we will make things work out financially. The kids will have more fun with me in the future and probably hardly remember the time lost now. Thanks again! Now for all of my pre op appts...... I have 4 tomorrow....Wish me luck! I guess there is no turning back now :o)

I think I could really add 'ditto' and be done with it, but I like to yakk! lol You have to KNOW this is the right decision for you. I knew, that without intervention, I would not be able to raise my children. My weight already brought me within a hair's breath of losing my youngest, and I didn't want someone else raising MY babies. I had no doubts, and am grateful my insurance coverage cared for me. Other than my children, I adamently would have insisted prior to surgery that I was fine, felt fine, wasn't treated any differently....but I just came back from bloodwork and my BP was 108/70. Unmedicated. I don't miss high blood pressure meds. I don't miss sleep apnea. I don't miss the agony of my joints giving under my weight from just STANDING. Now I truly know what it is to feel good and sadly, I know what it is like to be treated like everyone else. To buy "one size fits all" and it does! I can buy groceries, carry them in put them away, go to the zoo, and clean house - all in the same day! I can sit in theatre seats, in concert seats, in restaurant seats, in armed chairs a the doctors office. I have never, ever, regretted it. Do I miss ice cream? Occasionally. Juice? Oh my gosh to be able to drink orange juice would be great...but these things are so worth the trade off to be healthy and to live life. Best wishes!

Hi, I was self pay also, yes I would do it again. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.