I need a shoulder :(

Well for the past few days my back has been killing me, i was diagnosed over 4yrs ago with Ddd, 2 herniated disks, fybro, arthritis all up my spine, protruding disks, with some of them not "staying together" i know Ddd but doc says its different than a typical Ddd (Degernerative disk disease) I have a spur that is 1.25inches long going into the bottom of my syatic nerve but the drs wont touch that.. Y i don't know... So I went to my pcp to get a referal to have WLS and she said that she wouldn't refer me to that, and that i will have to get my back surgery first and then she will put me on a diet because its the "easy way out" with the surgery. She said lets fix your back and get you exercising thats what you need.. I am so heart broke, for one i was only given a 50% chance of walking after surgery (i don't like those odds) 2 what happens when they "fix" my back only to be ruined again because of my weight??? 3 the pain i go through i know the surgery will help but i am scared to death that i will be in a wheel chair and what happens to my family???? i mean how fair is that to them to have to deal with a wife/mother/sister (im not saying this is everyone thats in a wheelchair, but i am saying this would be me)who used to be able to take care of herself but now cant because she was made to get back surgery?? i am so scared right now.. I just cry... I want to get the weight off first so there wont be any problems when my back is fixed, is that so hard for them to understand?? I don't know maybe this would be a good thing but i don't like my odds.. I feel this is everyone elses dessision and not mine.. Please pray for a sence of peace in me.. thank you all for reading my rant.. is there anyone else out here that has a bad back that has gone through what im going through?? any advice coments anything would be nice thanks Paula

Hi Paula First let me say this, you are a consumer and have the right to find another physician..Second please let this physician know that in October ObesityHelp is having a conference which will hopefully include CME's (continuing education for docs)just for people like her!! or send me her name and address through my email..I will make sure she gets information about it.. grrrrrrrr..this is exactly the reason I am so passionate about learning and setting up teaching events...Man, don't get me started!!! Paula, it is time for us to stand up and take charge..we have let others make decisions for us way to long..I look back at my life and know that's exactly what I have done. Having this surgery against the wishes of my family and others was the first step to my own freedom! Don't let one doctor take that away from you, search until you find an MD who will help you through this.. I hope someone on this board lives near you and can help you with finding a new PCP!! good luck don't give up!!

thank you so much i will be sending you her address. I know i need more education to and thats just it, i am willing and open and wanting to learn about this. This will save my life, and the lives of my family as well, i will be able to fix the right types of food and i will be able to exercise with my family, they have all wanted to go on walks but they feel bad because i cant so they stay home and then the cycle begins again,,, i want to brake this cycle get healthy and teach my children the right way to live and let them know i love them by doing the right thing for me. I sit back and look at my mom who has alzimers and she doesn't even know us anymore and its almost like she is dead, i don't want my children at this young age to be sitting in front a stone reading my name and wishing they could talk to me.. (i know that will eventualy happen) i feel i have a new lease on life with this surgery and i want my children and husband to see that i am worth that much to me and to them.. thank you for your understanding Paula

What a fool of a doctor you have! You obviously need to loose weight first, it will make your back surgery safer and recovery easier. Why do not you get your WLS referral/letter from your orthopedic dr? What about any other specialist you're seeing- -cardiologist, dermatologist,etc...? A referral does not have to be from the PCP. You might want to try to educate your PCP by providing some WLS literature/brochure . Or hurry up and find another dr! Good luck!

that is exactly what i said to her, about having the wls first that way it doesn't ruin what the back surgieon does.. and thats when she made the coment to me about "putting the cart before the horse, and thats the easy way out".. Yes i am going to go to my pain management dr on monday, and ask him to refer me and if he wont then i have an appointment with the nerosurgieon 5/16 and i'll ask him too. and who knows maybe i'll get two referals. Yes i am going to try and get her some educational literature/brochures. thank you so much for understanding and writing me back.. Paula

That doctor should not be practicing medicine. You really need to talk to a WLS (great) doctor and go from there. She has it all backwards. Start from the beginning and act like you never went to her. Cindy

thank you so much, i think i will just do that.. I do have an appointment with my pain management doc on monday and im going to see if he will refer me and also my nurosurgieons appointment is 5/16 and im going to see if he'll refer me too I do think she needs some real educational experiences with weight loss and who knows maybe i'll be the one to get it done (the surgery) and she'll be the one learning from me. First we have to work on those "bedside manners" of hers, just cause she's a doctor doesn't give her the right to play "God" with her patients. i would say.. thank you for you understanding too.. it realy means a lot to me. this board is just wonderful Paula

Wow like Brenda said. You doctor needs some education on this surgery. I would find another doctor. You really need this surgery it saved my life. I would get on the ball and not wait on her. Best wishes Barb

thank you too.. all this great advice is so....... i don't have the words.. you guys are awsome. anyhow i am going to see my pain management doc on monday and i'll see if he'll refer me to one, and then i'll see my neurosurgieon on 5/16 and i'll try and get one from them too. It was horrible in her office, i started crying when she said that and it was like i didn't even exist at that point.. there were no emotions coming out of her, and crying isn't easy for me at all, i think im weak and disapointing to people when i cry (i know its is ok, but when i cry it jsut doesn't feel ok) so i just don't cry but she hurt me so bad by what she said and it made me mad that people would even think such a thing..so i cried. i do think she needs to be educated, this has got to stop. people thinking its the easy way out its just plain wrong thinking. thank you agian for comenting. Paula

Paula..there was a time I would allow even a doc to talk to me that way..but no more!! you have to take charge from here on out ..just keep reminding yourself.."this is about me"...tell that PCP she needs to get with the program..WLS works!!! then tell her Adios...find a new doc!