Concert was So Greatttt !!!!

Julie, We will need to get together. I dont know what to say to you. ( My advice is kind of messed up right now.) But I do understand your feelings 100 percent. You feel great look great and want to enjoy life. and the DH is at the same place you was before surgery. So I am lost for words. Hugs your way Thankls Barb

Barb, You have to do what you need to do for YOU. I was in a loveless marriage for way too many years. It was very tough letting go and NOT doing the right thing(according to others.) I took a lot of flack believe me. They ex never yelled at me, hit me, abused me in any way. I just didn't love him anymore and felt like I was wasting his life as well as my own. He finally agreed to a divorce. Two years later I met my soul mate. Five years later we married. I am now happier than I ever thought I could be and everyone LOVES my new hubbie. All the naysayers now see that I did the RIGHT thing. I think we know in our heart what the right thing is and more importantly when the right TIME is. I will be thinking of you. Diane

Diane, I am so happy for you. You seem so happy. Thats what I want. So I need to think this thru and get thru this. Thanks I am so glad your home and doing so well Hugs Barb

Thanks for all the replys. I am going to do what is right. My daughters stand behind me. and I will get some counseling. My daughter is going to talk to my husband tomorrow. He just doesnt listen to me. He thinks I am blowing smoke. This is the real deal. He needs to get in and get on something to help his mood swings and servere depression. It is ruining our marraige. Never in a million years would I think I would be going thru this. Our marraige is in trouble. We both need to work on this. I just dont want to lose everything I have. My daughters think I need to stop seeing my friend. So I will do this. It seems like he is wanting to rescue me. The only one that can do that is me. So Time will tell. My husband listens to all my phone calls. I think alot of you are right about needing the attention. and taking it all in. I need to work thru this. And stay away from him. Until I can fiqure out what I want. But mental illness is a scarey thing. I just dont know what is going on in my husbands head. Its kind of creepy. Married to him for 10 years and dated him 5 years. and I seem like I dont know him anymore. Thanks Hugs Barb

Hi Barb Just wanted to chime in here and say a few things, I am from the ky board and I have known Julie for a couple of years. I just want you to know from a mans point this situation is no different . I am sure your husband knows this is over to. I left my gf of 15 years 3 days before my surgery because I wanted a new start,,, ON ME. I never blamed the surgery for our split up because I knew it was way beyond that. I can say to all of you including Julie there is life out there after weight loss surgery. I was one that settled, because I was comfortable, I didnt want to make waves because I knew it would rock the boat. But guess what 320 lbs down after my surgery I want to ride the waves. Life has truley begun for me on a whole new level. I have done things in the last 6 months that have made me look at who and what I am, now at this moment. You are a beautiful soul that deserves to make up for what you have missed and you deserve that MAN that makes you live , breathe and think about your love and life. I heard someone the other day say something that made me think" You live everyday to die. so why not make the most of your day because in the end it's what you have accomplished that will make you who you are". I did the counceling thing and paid a man alot of money to tell me the things I already knew. If I can sum it up in a few word it would be , do whatever it takes to make you wake up with a smile everyday..... Nice to meet all of you and Julie I like dancing lol

Barb.... Ron is special and a very unique man. Too bad there are not more out there like him. He really has helped me by listening to my problems and his advice is pretty damn good if I must say. Now lets go dancing!!! Take Care! Hugs Julie PS: Ron thanks for coming to the OHIO board. Your words are worth millions to me.

I do agree with everything that you have said. You seem like you are doing great!!! Your post is so true. I want to live. My husband wants the same life. eating all the time big meals TV. He never gained weight but I did. I cant go back to that life again. I have to much energy. Now Im not the same person. I am not the girl who was ashamed to go out in public. I go everywhere I get dressed up and go someplace everyday. Tomorrow morning me and my dad are going trout fishing on base. ( Yes I swear it is my dad.) But I am not going to let my life go by me anymore. Like you said. Live life like you was dieing !!!! I hyave lost enough of my years. I feel so healthy. Thanks Hugs your way Barb

Ann, Have you ever gone to any of the WLS support groups at OSU? I have met a great group of people through them. We go to dinner before every meeting. Why don't you come join us??? On April 5th and 26th are the next meetings. I will send you an email on this. That way you can get on the OSU support group list if you like to. Have a good day!!!

Julie, That would be fun. I do go to one in Dayton. Lets do plan a get together. What city do you live in. If you could get a weekend getaway sometime. We can get a group together and go somewhere and have a great time. No DH . I am doing better. Kind of lonely but I will be fine. Been that way for years. I just need to work thru this. Now I have nothing to do with dh or friend. I guess thats how I will work thru this for awhile. My daughter had a talk with him. He made a appointment for his depression. He keeps trying to talk to me. I dont know what im going on. It is like I am so fed up. I am going to nashville on the 20th with my oldest daughter. I think that will be good for me. I cant beleive what wls can do to a person that has been in a prison for years. It really brings out feelings about living your life to the fullest. I still am thinking really hard on this Hugs Barb