WLS and DH troubles

It is hard to believe it has been 10 months-sometimes it seems like it went by in a flash, other times it seems it was a lifetime. I have lost 116 pounds, which is almost another person! There are things I wish I knew starting out that I have discovered along the way. Body dismorphia...how truly hard it is to fight head hunger...and how much strain this surgery puts on marriages. I have gone from a size 20W to a size 4L in a short time, no real complications...touch of pneumonia after the surgery, other than that only hair loss and loose skin. I realize from all the posts that I am not alone with the hubby problems, but it is very hard to deal with. I always thought that my hubby loved ME, for ME. Then I had this surgery and have become me without the padding, and like many others here, I have discovered its not true. The email love messages, the IMing and out to play pool with one of his ex girlfriends is just driving me nuts. I can't get a clear answer as to why he did this and I can't let it go now that he says he stopped. I see so many others dealing with spouses who are jealous and accusing now. It is just kind of embarrassing to say that my DH is cheating because I am not fat anymore...that because my BMI is normal, my husband is no longer attracted to me. *sigh* I will stop whining now, thanks for letting me get this off my chest for a minute. Becky R 254/138

Becky, you can unload anytime. we're hear to listen!

Thank you Deborah! I thought I had gotten all the info on all of the post op "issues". This seems to be a pretty big issue, a lot of posts I have seen relate to spouse problems after weight loss. It was suggested to me by someone whose opinion I value that my DH married me under the "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly(fat) woman your wife" premise and I don't fall into that category anymore. Therefore, he is starting to look around for a new ugly(fat) woman. Basically that means it is his insecurity and his issue-I understand that-it just doesn't make this any easier. Ya know? Thanks

Men can me such idiots!!!! My husband won't even look at me when I was heavy, treating me like I was some alian from mars. I don't understand this because I'm the same person with or without FAT. That really hurt. Well, I lost the weight and I did it for me me me yes you heard me me! So now that I'm thinner I guess that makes me a better person? I don't know. Just makes me MAD

My ex husband and I divorced over my weight. He found me revolting when I was overweight and stopped sleeping with me two years before I actually filed for divorce. Then I met my current DH, who I thought saw the real me beneath the padding...now I find out he found my obesity attractive. I guess there really is no man out there who is truly interested in loving a woman for her personality, intellegence, values and stuff. Live and Learn I guess. Good luck, Becky