Not Getting Support Here...

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to youooo Happy birthday dear Margo Happy birthday to you And many more

Hi Jimmy, you ready for my story? I am much older then you,57. I had diabetes and it was bad. I took 2 shots daily of insulin and I hurt all over. My husband was so afraid(37 years) I was going to end up in a wheel chair or die because I carried all my weight in my upper body. I did it for me and only me. Now I am around 11 lbs from goal and I feel wonderful. My 3 sisters were totally against it and now they are so happy. Your wife will come around when she sees how easy you can get around and no more aches and pains. Get her to go with you to talk to the doctor and that will help. She is just scared because all they ever talk about are the deaths and complications. I wish I could talk to someone and tell them all the pros. I really wish you could both talk to Dr.Curry. He explains it so well and he is so great with the spouses. If you need anyone we are all here for you whenever you need us. You are the one living in this body and it has to be your decision in the long run. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I feel great and everything is so easy now. I just slid into any booth at any restaurant and never have to scope it out. Life is really worth living and I love what I did and I did it for me. Good luck Jimmy,Love,Cindy

Thank you all for responding. I had no idea that I would get this much support this quick. I quess I am not so alone in this. This truely is an amazing group. As for the the wife and mother in law, since I have told them that I was doing this with or without their support, they have reserved theirselves to just not speaking of it. They are not willing to read, listen or learn anything about it. They have made up there minds and there is nothing I can do to change it. If I try to discuss it with them it, we get it into a fight. Their 3 greatest arguements are: (1) They said, "I will die if I have the surgery" Mother in law said before surgery she is going to take out a big insurance policy on me, that way when I die my wife and kids will be taken care of. I told them to go ahead and take one out now because I am at greater risk of dying right now than from the surgery) (2) They said, "I don't have the will power to follow through with it." I asked them if they thought I would go through that much pain, and not stick with it. If they wanted to see how much will power I have just look at what I am going though just to get the surgery. (3) They said, " I think that the surgery is cure all" I told them that the surgery is only a tool and that there are many levels to this program of weight loss. If they would go to a meeting or read a book on it or just listen to other that they would understand what I am talking about. I know that once I have WLS, and they start to see the benefits of it, weight loss, improved health, better life (for all of us) that they to will get on the band wagon and cheer me on too. They both have supported me through many things in my life. Standing behind me to keep me from falling, pushing me forward at times I really wanted to quit. and being the inspirational light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish I could count on them now. Well I must go. Thanks for listening to my rantings. Thanks for all your advice Jimmy

Jimmy, my wife was the same way. During the process of getting approved she was not very supportive. I just told her it was with or without her. I too love my wife , but nobady can tell you how you feel. The pain, the medicines. You do have to do this for yourself. My wife could not be happier now. She said she didnt beleive I was that big until I put that gown on in the hospital. Jimmy you feel free to contact me anytime. I will be there for you if you need me. Good Luck on your Journey. Richard

Hey Jimmy! I can't say much more than anyone else...but here are a few arguments I used with my family... They should stop thinking about this in terms of "elective procedure". That's a lie created by insurance companies. I'm sure that everyone here would tell you that NOT having this done is the exact same thing as not "electing" to have a heart bypass if a doctor said you needed one. The risks are certainly about the same. The difference is that heart problems can kill you quick. Obesity is slow and painful. Would your family argue if you needed your gallbladder removed? Again, the risks from surgery are basically the same. And you can live with gall stones! Thats more of an "elective procedure" to me. Sure, gall stones kinda suck, but they usually dont kill you. I lived with them for years. I can understand your family's reservations, given their experiences. I only hope that you can find some way to get them to talk rationally. In the mean time, hang in there! And keep talking to us as you need. I know it helps me!! Hugs!! Bella

Tell them you love them and understand their concerns but you have to do what you know is right in both your heart and your head. Best Wishes to You !!!!!!!