asking for help...kick me....

ok-this is me...i am 20 months out from my open rny--i had lost about 70# (needing to just lose 100) when my DH became quite ill last spring. my emotional/stress eating took over and i have regained 25 #. i am still able to squeeze into my 14's tho i had been close to getting into the 10's. thank God, my DH survived and is ready to start a new chapter-including more surgery coming soon-life as we knew it has changed considerably. i was walking everyday and had actually started to run; i was still losing and doing well- due to money i had not joined a gym or curves--then i fell back into the stuffmyfacewithanythingnottieddown mode- now-i am finding many days i am no longer grazing (YEA!) and i still know what i am sposed to do-- i have not had any pop/i do ocassionally chew gum just to keep my mouth busy/ i don't dump on a lot of things that i sure thought i would. i am keeping up with my vitamins and calcium...my labs continue to be good-almost high range in some places! so i am not a total loss.... **********where i need help is this--please kick me in my butt--help me to re-motivate myself....would i maybe be better to go back to the beginning stages of my post wls days and do liquids??? get my butt back to moving-things have been good to just get up and go to work everyday-no time or money for a gym or "Y" membership-and now it's snowy and yucky-well starting-the stationary bike isn't cutting it....does anyone have some walking dvd's they would send me cheap??? *******************i basically need a swift kick in the a** and a big pep talk....*************** please tell me that i am not alone in this one....it has become so tuff to come to the boards and read of everyone's successes--i was so much on track i shoulda been there! and i know that my cir****tances were serious and i do thank God for allowing my DH to be here with me- and i know that we are not supposed to compare ourselves to anyone or anything-please help me to get refocused........and ,yes, i DO feel so much better even at this weight and i understand that it is numbers on the scale-but- i really need ,for my mental health, to get down farther. thanks for listening...let the pep talks begin.

Hi Margo, No flaming here. You are not alone. I know that we can all get off track. I am glad that DH is feeling better and now it is time for you to do what you need to do. I have a plateu buster program. If you are interested, email me and I will email it back to you. It might help to get you back on track. I know that at OA they talk about just for today...and for you, maybe just for today you can eat healthy. Good luck and email me if you need to talk. Linda

Margo. You are not alone in these feelings. Being 16 months out I too am having a real proplem. I only gained 2 lbs but it is the first time I have ever gained since the surgery. I am a nervous wreck over it. So stupid isn't it? Thanksgiving did me in. I didn't have any dessert but I ate every pecan off the pie in the last 4 days. Along with the pecans came alot of the sugar filling too. I knew what I was doing but it tasted so goooooood. I would have been so much better off eating a piece of pie and getting it over with. Its amazing the mind games we play to make it A.O.K. I can really see the difference from the first year. It's like we all of a sudden can eat again. I need surgery again lol. I need a new year to start over. Let us start over today Margo. Out goes all the leftover pies,mashed potatoes and every piece of candy we have. We came to far to gain it back and let all those people say "Look, they had the surgery and gained it all back". I already had my arms done,I don't think I have the skin left to gain any back.LOL The first year is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO easy. The second year is becomming a real struggle. I can eat more,much more and that is scary. Today is monday,and we all need to wake up and start over. It.s o.k. if we had a fallback, we are only human. We can do it so lets just do it. If we do it together we will make it. I know if I don't I will get off the board and hide again and I don't ever go back to that. It's a very dark place and not any fun. Wish us luck everyone. It's very tuff.Love Cindy

2 words - support meeting. more words Thursday Dec 1, 7 pm. I think it helps to be with people and talk about what's going on in real time. Besides I miss you! Hugs, Vickie