Date and mixed emotions

Hi all! I'm new here and would like to make a few friends that have 'been there, done that'. I just found out I was approved for surgery in early December after a loooooong waiting period and jumping through hoops. I am exhausted from the coaster ride and the worst part is my friends and family that were so supportive and cheering me on seem to be distant now, including the hubby. I feel so alone and am wondering now if I am making the right choice. Sometimes I'm determined and sometimes I feel like crying and learning to live with my 'obese' self. Just need some shoulders out there....

Hello Marie, YOu are going to be fine. Congrats on the surgery date. It is aaan emotional journey that you are taking. Reality is setting in for you and your family that surgery is coming. Only you know if you are making the right decision. I would talk to your hubby about it and tell him you need his support more than ever. I am sure he will understand. GOod Luck and GOd Bless. I will be praying for you. Richard

marie congrats on getting your date. I find i talked about the surgery alot to everyone and maybe a little more than what they wanted to lol. Reality is probably really starting to set in. Let your hubby know you need the support and try not to read too much in peoples moods. Everyone handles things in different ways. The time from now till surgery will be the biggest roaler coaster yet. Your emotions will take huge swings up and down sad, happy excited scared. You will question yourself and everything in between. Hang in there it is so worth it. Tammy

Hi Marie I work with Dr. Sonnanstine over in N. Ky..I attend surgery with him so that I can be in the link between the surgeon and the family members during the procedure, but I also try to keep the patient calm while waiting .. One thing I know from this work is that the family is very much a part of this too..you are nervous and scared but so are they..the what if's are running through their mind and the unknown is a scary place to be. I try very hard to make them understand what life will be like after surgery, how happy I am now compared to before..Some times it calms them down but I really don't think it changes until they see you after the surgery..maybe even the next day. Please be patient with your family and husband, have a sit down meeting and allow them to express themself, but be prepared to hear their fears. If your surgeons office has someone to talk to, beit a liason/advocate..or a support group ask them to attend a meeting with you..I know Dr. Sonnanstine finds it extremely important that your family is comfortable, perhaps your doc feels this way too. Having the support of family is so important but always remember this is for you and you alone..be strong and show them you are sure of this decision, if you do not how can they be secure with it? in My opinion support meetings are the most important part of the post op care..make sure you are connected in some way. If I can help you in anyway at all, please feel free to email me. [email protected]

You are making the right decision. Being a wife and mother myself.. I felt is was time for it to be all about me. I am so happy I had this surgery. I am healthier now than I have ever been. If you ever need to talk.. just send me a message and I will be there for you. You are important.. remember someone thought enough about you to put the money into the surgery for you. Enjoy your love of life.... Hugs, Julie

Julie, I didnt even recognize you !!! You look so wonderful. I noticed the name and had to look. You look beautiful. Keep up the great lose Barb

You are beautiful Julie. What a wonderful picture. Keep up the great work, Love Cindy

I went thru the same thing.. Everybody was calling me up telling me I shouldnt do it. Husband was really jealous and weird acting... I was alone. Now they are all glad I had it. Except hubby is getting alittle worried. I ask him how I looked. Guess what he said. I have crooked teeth. That is the first time he ever said that. He is trying to blow my bubble. The surgery was the best decision I have done for myself. I was all worked up over nothing. It was a breeze. First month waas hard with learning control over food. But I came out a winner. And my surgery so far has been a great success. I am down 48 pounds from 272 -224 In 6 weeks !!! I feel fantastic. They will all come around. They are scared. You will be fine Take Care Hugs to you Barb

Thanks Barb and Cindy.... You are great friends that I have met on here. Thank you for all your support and words of encouragement to all of us here. Keep Smiling and Keep Losing..... Hugs Julie

Hi all you posters! I just got back from my 15th anniversary and I can't tell you how wonderful it was to read all your posts. You guys are awesome! Thanks for all the advise too. I was feeling sooo bad the day I posted. I know my family has their fears but never expected their reactions like that. My parents don't believe in 'getting your gut stapled', 'just quit eating so much' and 'maybe this is God's way of telling me not to have it' so naturally they aren't supportive. Then I got to thinking. They never supported me in anything before so it quit hurting as much. I have an obese friend and when I started this a year ago, she was all for me and was going to have it done herself. A few months later she decided to diet and lose weight but was still happy for me. After I gave her the date her reply was basically a none emotional 'good luck' and then switching the subject. My husband was my greatest cheerleader throughout. I kept telling him remind me of the things I feel now: like my health, like feeling like I was an embarrassment to my kids and him, or being so frustrated because my mind wanted to be included in life but my body saying'don't think so'-- if I ever doubted myself. We would talk about getting a new wardrobe and being able to ride my horse and play with the kids when all is said and done. Suddenly, when I had the date he got distant and almost tried to talk me out of it. We almost didn't make it to our anniversary! I told him I needed support now more than ever. When we finally got away and talked he told me that he was scared to lose his baby and he was trying to make me really think, not talk out of it even though it seemed that way. What I really wanted was for someone to hug me and say 'this is all going to be okay'. We were walking at the mall and I had to sit down every so many minutes--this from a gal that used to walk miles daily--as it kills my back. I looked at all the 'normal' sized people and remembered why I wanted this so much. I've been praying about the situation as I really have dwelt on the death part. I don't want to leave my kids and hubby. And if I do, I don't want them to remember me tired, obese and irriated all the time. I prayed for guidance and a sign that I was making a right choice. The biggest suprise was when my sister, who is a nurse and I am not that close to called me last night to ask what was going on for Christmas. I told her I had a date for surgery and she told me I was going to be just fine.(she is usually on the negitive side too) Then I found all of your responses and a friend from Texas emailed me with such support I WAS in tears. Now that I have gotten long winded, thank you all again! I will need your support too. I've never had surgery in my life and pain is another issue I will need to confront. I often wonder if I will have the disipline it takes afterward. I know one thing though, I never want to be here at a miserable 317lbs. again!! You guys rock!!!