why and how did we get like this
Never be sorry for thinking you offended someone. There will always be someone with their own opinion. I hate to say it, but this is part of why I don't post a lot any more. 
I don't like some of the bickering and negative attitudes. We all are entitled to our beliefs, and you have every right to come and vent.
I am in the process of saving up for my plastic surgery. I feel that I am entitled to feel good about myself. Am I being selfish...HECK NO! I have given most of my 40 years to others, and it is time to give some back to me. I am THRILLED with my weight loss. I can do more than I ever dreamed. Don't look back, ever. Look ahead. Learn from those years, keep the good memories and forge forward. I feel that having my surgery is like the icing on the cake for me (no pun intended folks). It is going to be a major undertaking to save the money and go through what I am wanting to go through, but no one is going to spoil that for me. Funny, no body ever says any thing about buying that dream car you always wanted or taking that vacation or buying a new home, going out on a limb for a new job, but mention plastics to make yourself feel better..and POW you gotta a whirlwhind of chatter. I think we need to come here for support, be it when we are down or up. You are entitled to have your moment, and I believe everyone is entitled to their opinions. But lets becareful how we phrase things. Think things through before you put them in writing, because once they are out there, that's it, feelings are hurt, and the damage can be irrepairable.
Surgery can cause temporary depression, due to pain and anesthesia...remember right after wls how everyone goes through that "why did I do this I feel horrible" mode. Well, other surgeries do the same thing only to different degrees. It's ok to get those feelings out. In nursing we are taught to be empathetic. I think we should all learn how to do that without minimizing someone elses' discomfort.
Ok, said my piece. Cindy, I wish you an uneventful recovery, and enjoy your new you, because you have earned it!
Much love,
Valerie
I don't like some of the bickering and negative attitudes. We all are entitled to our beliefs, and you have every right to come and vent.
I am in the process of saving up for my plastic surgery. I feel that I am entitled to feel good about myself. Am I being selfish...HECK NO! I have given most of my 40 years to others, and it is time to give some back to me. I am THRILLED with my weight loss. I can do more than I ever dreamed. Don't look back, ever. Look ahead. Learn from those years, keep the good memories and forge forward. I feel that having my surgery is like the icing on the cake for me (no pun intended folks). It is going to be a major undertaking to save the money and go through what I am wanting to go through, but no one is going to spoil that for me. Funny, no body ever says any thing about buying that dream car you always wanted or taking that vacation or buying a new home, going out on a limb for a new job, but mention plastics to make yourself feel better..and POW you gotta a whirlwhind of chatter. I think we need to come here for support, be it when we are down or up. You are entitled to have your moment, and I believe everyone is entitled to their opinions. But lets becareful how we phrase things. Think things through before you put them in writing, because once they are out there, that's it, feelings are hurt, and the damage can be irrepairable.
Surgery can cause temporary depression, due to pain and anesthesia...remember right after wls how everyone goes through that "why did I do this I feel horrible" mode. Well, other surgeries do the same thing only to different degrees. It's ok to get those feelings out. In nursing we are taught to be empathetic. I think we should all learn how to do that without minimizing someone elses' discomfort.
Ok, said my piece. Cindy, I wish you an uneventful recovery, and enjoy your new you, because you have earned it!
Much love,
Valerie 
You know what--you DID waste some years. But what can be done now? You are so lucky to be in your position...wow, you not only got the WLS, you got PLASTIC repair, which is something most of the rest of us can only dream about, since insurance won't cover it. I'm 55 and waiting for my insurance approval--for a revision! I had my first WLS in 1984...when it was sort of primitive. Mine wasn't so hot, but I did lose weight--and got looooots of attention from men for the first time in my life--I was 34 and I went completely crazy. (For you girls who are younger and will be/now are beautiful, PLEASE THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING WHEN IT COMES TO MEN!!!!!!!) I won't go into detail (it isn't pretty) about my totally insane actions, but suffice it to say I have suffered greatly as a consequence of this, and will suffer for a long time. So did my family. Sigh. So everything is perspective, huh?? If I could wish what happened away, I would wish I never got thin, then. But I'm older and wiser now, and married to a great guy, and I rarely think about it. You are lucky enough to be in a wiser place in your life, too. Now I'm looking only at health--and if God will bless me once more to be a near-normal weight, I will not "look over my shoulder" at all. No sir. I have too many wonderful blessings! Yeah, the past sort of blows, sometimes. But the future is FULL OF WONDER! Rejoice, and say, Thank You for what I have achieved and where I am!!! (And your children will--and do--love you anyway. You know that.) Peace, sister.
Cindy,
I am a pre-op and don't have much help/advice to give concerning emotions after surgery. I know that I will probably have to deal with the same thing eventually. I have heard it is difficult to "lose" what we have come to know as who we are....in the meantime, people start treating us differently, and that can be hard to handle in itself.
I just wanted to let you know that I will be here to listen if you want to talk.
Sandy
Cindy,
Yes, I have missed out on some things over the last 10 years or so, but as long as I had people who loved me and people who I loved, I can't think of them as wasted years. I was there when my family really needed me. I am more than just my body, and that is what I have contributed, despite being obese.
CB
Cindy
I am pre op...actually not even approved for surgery. My insurance does not cover it.
Anyway,
I can relate to your pre surgery Fast food runs. I think I am addicted to fast food. And having small children and working it is too easy to run by the drive thur. Not a good example for my children I know.
From many of the things I have read this surgery (like any health related situtation) is an emotional rollercoaster. I am suprised patients are not required to go to some counseling afterwards. Feeling bad while recovering can be depressing.
Not to mention the NEW LIFE after weightloss...people can be so bold, rude, and inconsiderate. People will just say anything... Like "Are you going to get that skin removed" Aren*t you glad you are not fat anymore"
"Can you or should you eat that?" People don*t ask diabetics if they should or should not eat something..."
EVERYONE thinks about the "Woulda Coulda shoulda" Thoughts. No matter who you are... everyone thinks Did I spend enough time with my family,Could I of made more money if..., If ... If ... If...
What if you would not of had surgery? You may of missed the wonderful things coming in the future...time w/family* and all that God has planned for Cindy*
I am SO GRATEFUL MY AUNT HAD HER SURGERY! I had no idea how miserable and unhealthy she was til now. And I would know - I am her FAVORITE!!! Ha ha ha . Now the most important woman in my life (next to my mother) will be with me for years to come. That is the gift Dr Curry gave me - And boy do I need her!
Your family is also glad you will be around alot longer too. And they love you extra skin or no skin... Now it is time for YOU TO LOVE YOU!!! And the rest will fall in place. Chin up ... ok?
Plastic surgery is a choice for some... not a necessity* This is a step you *ve taken to improve yourself esteem. So as your arms heal I hope your spirit is lifted too!!
Sincerely,
Tasha...
"An unexamined life is not worth living." -- Socrates
Cindy, It seems to me you are examining your life to make the rest of it better for you. No one can tell you what is best for you.
I am 48 and just had surgery in May. I missed a lot of my life. Never had children, was married once for 2 years. I have not had a real relationship with a man in over 10 years. I don't even think I know how. I am not in my 30's anymore but I am going to do whatever it takes to get my self the life of a healthy happy 48 year old. That likely means more surgery. and lots of emotional work.
Congratulations to you for taking this step and examining yourself to continue living the way you want.
You offer so much support on this board. We are fortunate to have you.
Julie
Hey there C-vivor!
I'm only 35 (did I saw only) but I have wasted just as much time. I have never been a thin adult, not even before I got pregnant. I know the reconstruction of Sharyn will be painful, but it will be worth it. Try not to dwell, it only makes us crazy. I know you are grateful for Dr C and Dr. Martin (please tell him how much I enjoy his pen), but I am grateful to you!! You had, and still have, A LOT to do with my journey and my successes. And I'm sorry, but if this is what it took to bring our lives together than I'm happy. Better to recover with friends than be miserable alone. Now, did I say anything helpful, probably not, I ramble...
Love you Lots
Sharyn
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