PROBLEM WITH THE HUBBY!

I am waiting for my insurance to go through and my husband keeps telling me if I would diet and excercise then I would not need this surgery. He says it is the "easy way out." I was feeling really bad last night especially when we were arguing about this surgery. I need support so bad and he refuses to give it to me. I finally made up my mind to have this surgery, only to have him try to undermine it. MY QUESTION TO YOU ALL IS........How can I make him (who is a health nut) understand that for 37 years, I have dieted and excercised myself to a whopping weight and I am tired of suceeding only to fail again by gaining my weight back. How can I explain a lifetime struggle, when he cannot fathom why I am getting this surgery. Any thoughts????

Rhonda, It's very simple - studies on large patient populations have shown that 95% of patients fail at losing weight through diet and exercise, even with the help of medications. Do we offer patients treatment for high blood pressure with a 95% failure rate? Do we treat diabetes with medicine that fails 95% of the time? Absolutely not. Obesity is a disease, and it needs patients need to be offered treatment options that work. Weight loss surgery, when done on a motivated patient by a qualified surgeonw with a comprehensive program, WORKS!!! Good luck, Dr. C The Deaconess Surgical Weight Loss Center Cincinnati, Ohio

Rhonda, What Dr. Curry has to say is the truth.... he is not trying to sell anyone on his particular program - these are the facts! My husband was very concerned about me having this surgery until he watched my health go down hill... and, fast, I might add. I am just 44 years old and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, COPD, asthma and pre-diabetes all in the same year!!! In fact, this was all during 2004/2005 timeframe... I know that this surgery has saved my life! I could not afford to go on yet another diet only to gain it all back again... it was too hard on my body and I always ended up heavier than before I started out!!!! I did not want to cause any more damage to my heart. Since my surgery on the 6th of June, I am off all of my heart medications, and everything else I was taking for COPD and asthma.... nor am I pre-diabetic any longer. I was having to take 26 prescription pills per day, and I'm now down to 4.... soon to be 3!!!! Of course, I am now taking vitamins and nutrients that I never took before... BUT, I should have been taking them all along anyway! I can't believe the difference that it has made in my health already.... everyone comments on how much better my "color" is and how I can now hold a conversation without having to try to catch my breath.... goodness knows, I was panting hard just walking a few feet and now I am able to exercise daily!!!! I usually walk a mile or two per day and workout at the YMCA a minimum of 3 times per week. I am up to 20 minutes on the elyptical machine (which would have literally killed me before!), do 2 reps on the weight circuit and occasionally swim laps for about 30 minutes at a time. This is the best thing that could ever have happened to me! It has given me a second chance at life. I hope that some of this helps! If your hubby won't support you in this, perhaps you should resolve to do what you think is best for you.... I have to wonder if your husband might be feeling a little threatened by you losing weight? Some husbands do.... You will get lots of support from folks on this sight!!! It would also help for you to find a local support group and attend meetings... I'm sure that others have experienced this reluctance from their spouses, too. I wish you the best! Karen

Thank you for your comments! I do not know what I would do without this forum!

Rhonda , i know where your coming from my hubby was very against it too at first ... all you need is eat less and exercise blah blah blah Like i havent heard that since i was 10 like its so easy to just hop on a treadmil for 30 minutes when your mo have a job and 2 kids that keep you on your aching feet most of the day to begin with then exercise when your allready exhausted ... so finally what helped was making him go to the seminars with me then showiing him this website making him read other peoples profiles and realizing hey its not just me with these complaints ... lots of other people were saying what missy is saying maybe shes not nuts(altho that may be up for discussion after my psych consult )LOL Just some advice and what worked for me hope it helps Missy

What is your BMI do you have health problems. (My husband) He could care less if I have it or not. He doesnt give a rats ass. He doesnt even talk about it at all. He has told me he was concerned. He has called me fat before out of anger. I think he knows he is in for it once I am thin and he is dreading it. Because he shows me no attention at all. I am a very lonely woman. I do not know what will come out of our marraige. I am 47 and hate to start over again. I wish he could just treat me better. Take Care Barb

Rhonda, I know just what you are saying. Just the other day I was talking to my mom and she said, "Judy, why don't you try the treadmill and a diet?'' Well I sort of blew up and said, "What do you think I have been doing for the last 37 years?" All of my family thinks its the easy way out but I don't let it get me down. Not any more. I have made up my mind and this is what I'm going to do. Get you husband to read this website and hope for the best and maybe he will come around. Once he sees that it is a disease and you can't do it alone he'll come around. Judy

I am from a skinny family. 3 other sisters all under 140 skinny brother. Dad and sisters all say I need to walk and just go on the diet. That I am not that fat. I could lose the weight. They do not carry this fat around either. On a weak heart. I am slowly dieing. They tell me it is a unatural way to lose weight. It is the easy way out. I am, so sick of the none support I get. My 2 daughters are my only support. They know how I feel. They want me to be myself again. Take care and good luck Barb

I'm so sick of people who say that this surgery is the easy way out!!! Of course these are the people who have not had the surgery and who have not fought weight and the health issues from being obese and yo-yo dieting for years and years. I had my surgery July 11 2005 at age 62, I wish I had done it sooner but I wouldn't give up the old fashioned way and the unhealthy way of trying to lose weight. Each person who makes this life changing decision should be applauded for thier courage to take on a difficult life long term committment. The last thing you are doing is taking the easy way out. We are saving our lives for ourself, our husbands, our children and all of our loved ones. Husbands need to get with the program or be left behind as we go forward into a happier and health life!! I will be sending healing and healthy thoughts Judi

Judi, You are so correct. I am going to need to stay away from my dad. Until I get this done. He gives me a hard time every day. It is really stressing me out. and it really upsets me. He told me to not have it on sept 9 because he is leaving town. Then he said If I die someone would be able to reach him if I do have it that day. It is like. What a bad thing to sAY. Take care barb