Advice please

I have a 10 year old daughter who is gorgeous, smart, funny, compassionate, and talented. I have come to realize over the 2 months of my post-op situation that she is a compulsive eater. I honestly didn't realize before now how often she would eat. I don't think she can stop herself. She was a gorgeous chubby baby and toddler. Every one said she'd "grow out of it"...but I feared that she wouldn't. I had her tested at the age of 3 at Children's hospital...nothing wrong. I have a 13 year old who is just as wonderful but does not have the same problem at all. She eats constantly and large portions. She is tall for her age and morbidly obese already, although active. What do I do? I cannot mention this to her at all with out her reacting violently...and I can't blame her. I have been overweight her entire life, who am I to try to talk to her just because I was fortunate enough to be able to have the surgery? She does not have a close relationship with her Dr. because my father is a retired physician and treats her for minor things.( She hasn't been to see her Dr. since she had her tonsils out 2 years ago.) And she reacts the same way if "Papa" says anything to her. I understand her hurt and confusion all too well. Some one please help me. Is there a special couselor for obese kids? We can easily go to Cincinnati, Dayton or Columbus. I do not want her to watch me "leave her behind"....I don't want her to feel alone. Liz Hillsboro

My daughter was a skinny little thing until she hit 1st grade at which point she suddenly gained about 30 pounds in a very short time. She also began developing very early. I took her to her pediatrician who sent her to a couple of specialists who all said nothing was wrong. They really didn't do any extensive tests. I watched her get bigger and bigger over the next couple of years. She is very rarely sick so she didn't see her pediatrician often. When she was 6th grade I took her to her pediatrician's office and saw a new doctor - a nurse practitioner actually. She looked over her chart and noticed that something didn't seem right. She ran some extra tests and saw things a little out of whack but nothing terribly abnormal. She ended up sending her to an endo who finally diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes. She started medicine and understood why she had to eat better. She lost about 30 pounds over the next few months. She is still over weight and I do not make her eat as healthy as I should but she is in much better shape. She is about 5'4" and about 160 pounds. She was shorter and up to about 190 at one point. Having a doctor that took the time to listen and really look at things made the difference. I understand not wanting to harp at her all the time. My daughter is 13 now and can't stand that I am always preaching about eating healthy. She feels like I constantly am "yelling" at her. I have found that cooking healthy food and making it most readily available is my best tool. Good luck! Shellie

Thank you Shellie. Everything I've ever read has said to NOT put children on diets...so I didn't. She does eat a basic healthy diet, but it is the extra things she eats, and that fact that she wants to eat constantly that worries me. I guess I am looking for some one who might "notice" something other than the fact of "how" overweight she is. When she was tested as a toddler the Dr. said he had good and bad news....the good news was that she was completely normal...that everything was fine...the bad news was the same...that her weight problem had to be largely genetic....big surprise. I think all of us have realized that. I appreciate your input! May be it's time for a "back to school" physical. I can clue the medical staff in on my concerns before we go. Liz

Hi Liz, I do not give advice. I will share my own experience. I was the same way as a child. I believe I went to Weigh****chers for the first time at age 10. My mom tried every thing to help me. I continued to stay obese my entire life. I dieted many many many times. I know you can understand. We are all in the same boat. I really believe my over eating was and still is a psycological issue. If I had it to do over again I would have sought professional help at a younger age. I am now the thinest I have ever been and still struggling with the same underlying issues of self image and self worth. Good luck to you and to your daughter. I have two sons that are almost adults. They struggle with weight but not to the extreme I did. It is hard for any one to be over weight, but to be an adolecent girl has got to be the worst. Best wishes, Deb

I am in the same boat my 10 yr old is a boy and he is 4'11 and weighs 152 lbs he has been to several doctors and i finally gave up and took him to see a psychologist at childrens hosp and come to find out he has severe depression and I didnt even know it i should have thought of it but didnt he is now on antidepressants called lexapro and doing a little better even though he has onle been on them a couple months he is making improvements everyday it makes sense to be depression because look at what we go through as adults when we are depressed we eat i think being obese is hereditary I weighed 300 lbs at the ripe ol age of 14 Cindy

Thank you Cindy. I am doing some research to find a specialist for her. I want some one who UNDERSTANDS about weight problems...not just diagnoses them. I am glad your son is doing better. I will keep in touch with you. Liz Hillsboror

This sounds like my girlfriends daughter. She is 13 and weighs 208, I try to bring up dieting or exerciseing and she just goes nuts.. They are moving up from AL and are staying with me until their place is ready. I'm hoping to be able to get her to get motiviated and want to loose weight on her own... I have found out that if it is the childs ideal to loose weight that they do have more success at it.. Just be patient and let her know that you are behind her... It is very hard to find out what is bothering our kids... I wish you the best of luck.. Take care and God Bless. 281/224/??

Hi Liz, I havent been on very much because I am on vacation. Just saw your messages. My dayghter is 14 and she has always ate a lot. She is kind of growing out of it but I still worry about eatting habits. I now just make sure I cook healthy and take all snakes out of the house. I buy s/f ice cream if they want it. If my wife wants the real stuff we get it, but most the time I fix everything healthy. No regular soda in the house. Remember its a way of life for you and your family,and you don't need the real stuff in the house either. I would tell her this is for you more than for her or use you as the excuse. It's not easy but I found my kids are going with the flow and as they get older they will appreciate it. Find things they like and make it healthy. If you need any help, just let me know and I will help you with recipes or alternatives. Richard