Survey question about attitudes toward fat people

I am a pre-op, no date in sight. (If it was up to me I'd be on the other side but I am still waiting)...Question. I have been thinking about this alot lately...When you were fat did you feel almost invisible? People look at you but see fat and not a person. I have felt like this alot lately. Like I am not even human...And now that you are losing or at goal or "normal" weight the attitutes change and people SEE you... Here's another question about it...Do you have a problem with people that wouldn't talk to you or didn't notice you when you were fat?..I almost feel like I would be a bit bitter with people that praised my thin size and didn't understand the fat size. I could go on forever but I was just curious how you handle the attitude difference.

I felt just the opposite!!! I thought, think, everyone is looking at me and making fun of me. I'm only a month post op and still feel like that, but I'm feeling better. I look thinner in my face and I have the attitude that I'm a worthwhile person again. Good luck jumping through everyone's hoops and getting approved for your surgery!!! Hugs, Susie

Debbie, I am post op and also a WLS coach and consultant. I assist people with pre-op preparation. Please check out my website to see some things I have written about pre-op. www.decision-of-a-lifetime.com. Now, I do know what you are saying. There is a huge difference between how people used to respond to me compared to now. Am I bitter? No. Was I ever bitter? Sure. I feel so confident and so good about myself now that I could care less what people used to think about me. An odd thing that occurs after you lose weight and get a couple of years out is that you realize that people you are meeting had no idea that you were once morbidly obese. It is an odd thing to realize this and it takes some getting used to. In my opinion, and this is the coach part of me, it isn't worth our energy to worry about what people think about us, what is important is what we think about ourselves. Bottom line, we spend a lot of time worrying about what others think about us because we don't like who we are - when we are obese. That changes. My last words of advice, be prepared. Do your homework and realize that after the honeymoon period ends, when the easy weight loss slows down, there will always be work to do to maintain that weight loss and the health. Your pouch is your partner in a new lifetime. I always caution people to be leary of the idea that this will cure your weight issues, a lifetime of eating problems do not go away with the surgery. However, it is totally possible to have lifelong success, so long as you keep yourself honest and be real about your health. Good luck, hope this was of some help. Steve

Hi Debbie, I am only a few weeks out but have thought about this issue a lot. I expect people will treat me differently. Part of that is due to the change in attitude I expect to have. People will treat me differently because I will be more comfortable with myself as well as more confident, I will have that aura around me. You get what you give, if I give a better attitude I will get better response from people. Julie

Here is my opinion. I felt its more me then other people. I was always one step behind and now I am right up in the front row. When my hubby and I would be anywhere together and he would see someone he knew, I would never go up and talk with him, I always stayed back because I thought he was so embarassed of me. I realize he was not now, it was I who hated myself. I have really changed and have so much confidence in ME now. Tonight we are going to a church festival in Madeira, and I cant wait to see everyone. Again I will go up to everyone and never stay back again. We are hot and its so much fun.I think people think Eric is having an affair,(whos that skinny girl hes with) lol not skinny. Does anyone else feel the way I do? Thank you Dr.C You are the best Doc in the whole world,