I'm approved but now i'm so scarred

My name is Tammy. I have been trying to get approved for this surgery for a year and a half fighting denials. I went to my doctors a week before christmas for a blood pressure check and he gave me the best christmas present which was the good news that i was approved. I was shocked to say the least since i was only there for a blood pressure check. I dont even remember the drive home because i was in shock. I have been so happy for the last week. I see the surgeon on the 5th of january and they said my surgery will be in the beginning of february. I felt like i was finally going to get a chance at an active healthy life. Well, tonight my sister came over and told me about a friend of hers that just had 2 friends die from the surgery in the last month. And it seems that everyone is telling me they know someone that died from it. I know about the risks but now i am scarred to death. I was so sure that this is what i have wanted for years but i am a single mom and now i am afraid i am going to die and leave behind my two girls. I have a 7 year old little girl with cerebral palsey that is a total care child and a 14 year old. I am 320 pounds and with all this extra weight it is getting so hard for me to lift my daugther holly and carry her since she cant walk. But I am all they have, and now all i can think about is what would happen to them if something happened to me.

Awwww, Tammy, I'm so sorry you are scared right now, especially after the struggles you went through with getting your insurance approved. I was just approved in mid-Dec. and I'm scheduled for surgery on 2/7/05. As soon as I had the approval letter in my hand, I was overwhelmed with a desire to cancel the whole thing and be able to continue to turn to food for my comfort. I had a few days of being sure I was going to cancel. Then, I just turned it over to God and I was able to get peace about it. It is very important to remember that any surgery is a risk and you will need to decide if your improved health is worth the risk. But, anytime someone tells me they know someone who died from it, I start asking for details. What was the level of their health going into the surgery? What was the cause of death? Was it truly related to the surgery itself? Were they following their doctor's orders? Did they ignore signs from their body that something was wrong? Usually, when I start asking these questions, people tell me "I don't know", or "I don't really know the two people who died, I just heard about them". It's important to know about the risks and be aware these things could happen, but once again, you need to weigh your risks. Do you have lots of co-morbidities that will prevent you from being around for your daughter long term anyway? I'll say a prayer that God will give you some peace and wisdom to know what is the best decision for you. Don't make any decisions while your emotions are still in an upheaval. Good luck and keep coming here for support. Denise

Tammy, I think your fears right now are pretty normal - at least, that's what I went through, also. An intelligent person can't help but think of all the "what-if's". I was pretty scared, even as I entered hospital I hadn't made peace with it. But I had to think back about the research I had done, and my reasons for having the surgery, etc. That kept me on track a little. It's time to lean on your Obesity Help website friends, and trust your own personal decisions that led you to this point. I will pray for you and right now I call on Him to send His angels to comfort you and lift you up. You are about to have your re-birth! Soon you will come to the loser's side and we are holding you a seat. Kitty B. RNY 12/13/04 251 / 230

I am 13 days post op and I went through what you are going through. At one point I was almost certain I was going to die during the surgery. I did what Denise did, turned it over to God. I prayed-a lot and had many praying for me. If you follow your surgeon's directions of drinking plenty of fluids, walking and breathing, you should do ok. God Bless.

Hi Tammy, This decision has got to be yours. Noone can tell you what you should do but we can offer our opinions. And we always do lol. I had mine with Dr.Curry back in July and am as happy as can be. I would do it in an instant. I have lost 83lbs and not on insulin anymore and have a ton of energy. I feel like a new person with alot of self esteem for the first time in years. I can get down on the floor and play with my grandchildren and loving every minute of it. I hear wonderful stories from this web site and these are all the friends I listen to. They know all there is to know and we help each other everyday. I could never have made this journey without these wonderful friends. My sisters told me bad stories too because they didnt want me to have it. Now they are happy with me and very proud. Make this decision on your own. You have to feel good about the decision you make. I trusted Dr. Curry and that helped. Good luck and all your feelings are so normal. We will all be here for you, Love,Cindy

Hi Tammy, As one of the nurses at the hospital said to me the day of surgery if you weren't scared, they'd be concerned about you. I was petrified. It wouldn't have taken much for me to have ripped out that IV line and hit the floor running but, I hung in there and thank goodness I did! This is a big step but one that you need to make sure you are ready for. The alternatives for me were that my health would only decline. The risk not to have the surgery far exceeded any risks of having it. I had my surgery in October and in that short amount of time, I feel so much better-I'm amazed. I used to be on 4 blood pressure medications and now only on 1. I used to take Zorcor for high cholesterol and now that's been discontinued AND I was a borderline diabetic and now that is in normal ranges as well. I know if I hadn't had surgery, I would have continued in my downward spiral so for me, it was worth it. Hang in there...... Beth

Tammy, I felt the same way. I have friends that have had the surgery and they felt the same way. You will always have those friends and family members that want to discourage you because they are afraid for you to have this surgery. My sister and my mother really did not want me to have the surgery because they were also afraid that I would die. As I told them, people also die from being overweight. As with any surgery death is an issue. Just remember, this is your life and your decision. You allow yourself and no one else to make this decision for you. All I can remember from my surgery is them wheeling me into the O.R. and someone said, "Give me your arm." I woke up and they were taking me in my room. I never even had pain from the surgery. Although I had my done lap. Just remember, you will have to live with the decision you make and if you are that unhappy with your weight than do it. You will be so happy you did when the weight comes off. And your family will be happy to see the happy person you have become. Praying for you.................. Kelly B.